Tough day!

Today was tough.

Yesterday I felt success, felt like I was making gains and was making progress.

Today I felt like I was slower and fatter than ever and nothing I do will ever change that.  

Not a cheerful way to start a post but it's my blog so I figured I don't have to be upbeat every time.  I'm going to have setbacks.  I'm going to have days where it doesn't seem worth it.  

Today wasn't really a set back, just a lot of hard work.  We were asked by our friends to go hiking today.  We have gone several times and while the hikes have worn me out they have been doable.  Today's hike was eight miles.  We went on a trail by Corvallis up to a place called Dimple Hill.  Four miles up and four miles down.  I was so frustrated with the fact that I was so slow and because everything hurt.  There has to be a point where I'm not struggling with every step I take.  I worry when I'm with a group that I'm holding everyone back, they would be going faster if they didn't have to wait for me.  What possibly ever made me believe that I should be out doing silly things like this?

The good news is that I did it!  Every single time I have a run, race or hike that I struggle through with every step I come out on the other side with such a great feeling of accomplishment.  Yep, today's hike was tough and I am tired and sore.  But you know what?  I did it.  I hiked four miles up, with a total climb of 1,600 feet in elevation gain.  Lots of up and then down and then up some more and then down.   Oh wait, then some more up.  

Wendie calls these trips "Hiking Therapy" cause you can work things out in your mind, vent, cry, laugh and in general get a lot of thoughts worked through.  I know that I'm harder on myself than anyone else.  I just want to get to the place where this isn't such HARD work ALL the time.  Where I can just go and enjoy the day and not feel like I'm going to fall over because my feet absolutely refuse to take one more step.  

I've NEVER had anyone I'm out and about with say anything that makes me feel badly or indicate in any way that I'm slowing them down or a hindrance to their good time.  So I have to own those feelings and know that they are all my own insecurities.  I have wonderful people in my life who are encouraging me daily and let me know that they believe in me.  Now I need to start believing in myself more.  

Each day is a journey.  Some days they path is easy and other days isn't.  

Source: imgfave.com via Lisa on Pinterest