I am the Walrus

The journey to getting healthy has it's ups and downs.  Anyone who has struggled with with their weight knows this.  This week has been a struggle for me emotionally.

My friends invited me to join them for a workout class they do early in the mornings.  I didn't have to be at work at any particular time so I figured I would give it a shot.  My husband, being the supportive man that he is, decided to come along as well.  Of course, that didn't keep him from giving me dirty looks all morning when we were getting ready since we had to get up at 4:30 to leave by 5.  Yes, that's A.M. people!  lol

The workout was called Chisel.  We did some aerobic stuff, push ups, sit-ups, work with a bar with weights, squats.  A little bit of everything it felt like.  The gal who ran the the class was awesome, the music was great and the class kicked my ass!!!!  You would think that I would just be used to this by now.  I have lamented on here before about how much it sucks to always be the slow fat one in the group.  Monday it seemed magnified by 1000.  There were all these people who were in the class just doing their thing.  Sure they were working hard and you could tell they were putting a good effort in but no one looked like they were about to die.  I'm pretty sure I did.  I felt like a fat, uncoordinated walrus in a room full of coordinated and in shape people.

Normally I would be able to laugh it off or just let it go but Monday was one of those days where it was hard.  We finished the work out and Joe and I were leaving the parking lot and I started to cry.  I'm just so tired of being the fat girl who can't do anything.  I'm tired of everything hurting and being a struggle and not getting anything out of it.  To put it mildly, my frustration with lack of results (as far as my weight) over the last six weeks reached its max.  My husband pulled back into the parking lot and let me have my cry (he has learned much about how to deal with me when I get to this place over 23 years of marriage).  He was encouraging and supportive and I'm so blessed to be married to him!!

To say that I was sore would be an understatement.  My legs were sore but not too bad.  The running, hiking and squats I had done previously probably helped there.  My arms were another story.  I've been doing the weights for my arms for a couple weeks but evidently that was not enough!  My arms were jello.  It was so bad that when I was driving to work my arm shook when I lifted it to turn on my blinker.  OUCH!  This really didn't improve my mood much.

When I got home after work I walked two miles on the treadmill just to help get the kinks out and keep moving.  I walked on the treadmill because it was raining pretty hard out and I just didn't feel like changing my clothes and dealing with the rain too.

Yesterday I was planning to swim after work but Joe was working and Goober #3 was tired after her swim practice and said that her throat hurt.  I decided to just bring her home and everyone would chill at home and relax a bit.  That was a good plan.  I was really tired and went to bed early.

I wonder if that is part of why I have been struggling with my emotions this week.  The tired aspect has been hard this week.  Every week I feel more tired and its getting harder and harder to slog through my work and then workout.

Today I really didn't want to run but I knew I had to.  If I didn't go today then I knew it was all downhill from there.  I would keep finding excuses to not workout and then I would be back in the cycle of feeling sorry for myself but not doing anything about it.  I'm stronger than that, dammit!  So I went for a four mile run tonight.  Just a down and back.  The time wasn't fantastic but I felt surprisingly good, especially the last two miles.  I was actually surprised that my times were as slow as they show because it felt like I was going faster.  But I am okay with that because it was nice to not feel like crap the entire time I was running.  That's got to be progress.  :-)

I started out the week feeling like a complete failure that was never going to see improvement.  There are a couple of things I really love about running.  One is the thinking time I get.  As a busy working wife and mother alone time is hard to come by.  I love my family but running gives me time to just be with my own thoughts.  The other thing I love is how I feel when I'm done.

Monday sucked but I will probably do it again because I'm determined to eventually NOT be the fat, uncoordinated walrus in the room.  I'm quite stubborn.

Today was better.  I felt successful because I'm DOING something about my situation.  Even if it hurts like hell sometimes and my body won't cooperate and start losing weight. 

What a view!

I'm trying not to bore everyone with all my exercising but I have discovered that I love writing about my adventures and it helps me stay motivated.  So you can ignore my blog or check out my latest adventure.  :-)

Today we did a shorter hike up Bald Hill with friends.  I have been teasing my friend Wendie that I keep being told it will be worth getting to the top because of the awesome view.  Every time we have gone it has been rainy and foggy and I get a great view of the inside of a cloud.  Today I got the view!

It was cold again but we managed to miss the rain.  When we started up the hill I was having a hard time breathing but I had brought my new inhaler along.  Wow, that really made a difference.  I still was working hard to climb up the hill but now I didn't feel like I had an anvil resting on my chest.  

It was so beautiful at the top.  I love living in the Northwest.  Even when it is cold and raining it is amazingly beautiful.  I am looking forward to seeing how the landscape changes with the seasons as I continue to go on these hikes.  

I feel like I'm getting in better shape but that my weight is still holding me back from really feeling successful.  It takes work to lug this much weight up hill.  It would be easier if there was less of my to lug.  Again, the frustration of knowing that I'm doing all that I can to be healthy and my body is not cooperating!  Aaaarrrrggggg.  

Tomorrow I'm going to a "Chisel" class before work.  I think I may regret it, not in the accomplishment feeling, but in the "I'm so sore feeling."  We shall see.  :-)  I have to run tomorrow too.  I think I will do that after work.  Will be a long day!  

I don't wanna...

I've really been struggling with being tired this week.  It's very hard to be motivated to work out when all you want to do is snuggle up on the couch and take a nap.  Yesterday was a grading day so I didn't have to be in to work until I got there.  I decided to get up and run in the morning and did a 5K around the neighborhood.  I ran the first two miles at a pretty good pace and then walked the last mile.

Today I woke up and stayed in bed for about an hour reading.  When I did get up I snuggled up on the couch and kept reading.  I knew I should be getting ready to run and I just didn't want to.  This was the first time all month that I really had a bad time getting motivated.  I was just so tired and staying home and hanging out on the couch sounded so much nicer!  Being tired all the time is just the pits!  Some days I'm not sure which is more frustrating, no movement on the scale or being so stinking tired all the time.

I finally put on my running clothes and still fiddle farted around before I finally started off.  The first mile wasn't too bad, I was running through neighborhoods.  The second mile was out in the country and right into the wind.  Brrrrrr!  But then when I got to mile three I turned around and now the wind was at my back.  Much better.  :-)  I walked a half a mile on mile four, finished it running and then walked a quarter mile and then ran the last quarter mile.  I had my overall best average pace since I have been back to running.  I'm pretty happy about that, especially since I walked a couple of times.  As always, I was glad I went.  :-)

I tend to push myself too hard sometimes.  Always trying to improve and go faster and that isn't always best for my body so I am working hard at pushing myself but not killing myself.

Here's the info about today's excursion:

Even with the walking I kept a pretty steady pace so that's an improvement too.

Also, today I signed up for the Shamrock run in Portland in March.  We are doing the 15K.  I know I can do that but after I signed up I looked at the course map and yikes!  We run up the hill to OHSU and back down.  That ain't no little wussy hill!  Guess it's a good thing I've been going on all these hikes!

Here's a link to the race:

http://www.shamrockrunportland.com

Hiking tomorrow up Bald Hill.  I finally got my inhaler so it will be good to have it along and see if it helps when I'm huffing and puffing up the hill.

Found this picture on Pinterest and I love it!!  That voice is getting quieter but it's still there.

Adventures on the Treadmill

I don't officially begin my "training" for the half marathons for a couple of weeks but I'm staying active because I don't want to lose momentum.  Wednesdays are kind of crazy at our house.  It always feels like everyone is going in seven different directions at once.  When Joe is working it is even more crazy.

Yesterday I decided that I would do a 30 minute treadmill workout and then do some burpees and squats.  Thirty minutes on a treadmill?  No big deal, right?  Wrong! lol  I had found a 30 minute treadmill workout on Pinterest awhile back and was going to do that but I hadn't printed it out.  I didn't have time to fuss with that because I had to go pick up my youngest goober from her swim practice.  No big deal I thought.  I'll just do one of the programs on the treadmill.  I scroll through the different programs trying to find one that looks doable.  I don't want to kill myself after all.  I find one that has three peaks and valleys.  Perfect.  I can work on some incline work.  You have to understand something at this point.  I have never used one of the programs on my treadmill.  I failed to notice that as I scrolled through it displayed the top incline and speed that each program would inflict upon the unwary runner/victim.

Everything was fine....to begin with.  The first level was an incline of 5 with a speed of 3.5.  I could feel the incline but it wasn't too bad.  Each level lasted 90 seconds.  The next level was an incline of 7 and a speed of 4.0.  Still very doable.  I was thinking "I've got this!"  Not so much!  The next level was an incline of 15 and a speed of 7.0!  I lasted about 10 seconds and thought "OMG!!!  I thinking I'm F*&^**!! going to die!!!  I was glad no one was home, although the thought did cross my mind that if I had a coronary there would be no one around to call 911.  I could not hit the stop button fast enough.  I ended up standing with my feet on both sides of the treadmill while I waited for it to stop.  I decided that program was not something I was quite ready for (gross understatement) and tried to change the program.  It wouldn't let me so I finally pulled the safety program so the stupid thing would let me start over.  I then proceeded to so my own version of an incline workout where I could actually breathe and not die of a heart attack.  I was much more successful with my version of the workout.  :-)

I will be looking at the owners manual about how the programs work and if there is a way to adjust the top speed and incline to something challenging but not life threatening.

I followed up my adventure on the treadmill with a set of squats and burpees.  I think I will have a love/hate relationship with burpees.  They are hard!

Here is my workout for today (a set is 10):
40 minute swim
3 sets of tricep extensions with 10 lb weight. (standing)
3 sets of tricep extension with 10 lb weight. (bent)
3 sets of bicep curls with 10 lb weight
3 sets of squats
5 burpees.

I was going to try and do three sets of burpees but I was complete jello by this point and it just didn't happen.  I will try and get more done next time.

The adventures continue!  I decided today that I'm going to have to see if I can schedule a massage for the day I go to the doctor.  I will have SO earned it by then!

Looks like Joe and I might be doing the 15K at the Shamrock run in March.  Another motivation for me to keep moving!

Source: fitsugar.com via Robin on Pinterest

Tired!

Today was a long one!  Worked all day and it was one of my days where I'm exhausted at the end of the day.  So tired that my eyes hurt.  No rest for the weary though.  Went straight to my daughters high school to watch her swim meet.  Helped time at the swim meet which is always fun.  I love being in the middle of the kids and all the goings on during the meet.  I cheer on everyone!

When the meet was over I swam laps.  It gets a little easier every time.  I have paid enough attention to my kids practices to have some ideas about ways to get better.  I was only going to swim 30 minutes and then go home and do weights and such in my garage but I knew how tired I was.  I didn't want to swim.  I really didn't want to finish my swim, get dressed, go home, change my clothes and do more.  So I just stayed in the pool longer.  Holy moly! I don't know how the high school kiddos do 2 hour practice every day!  Right now I can barely lift my arms.

My youngest goober's club coach saw me and since I am now a "regular" swimmer she got me some fins and gave me a 15 minute mini lesson.  Super cool and just a few suggestions helped so much.  I have a lot to learn in getting my breathing all coordinated but I'm already feeling better in just a few weeks.

I lost just over 10 pounds the first week of my adventure.  I think I had a lot of water weight and bloating.  Since then I have had no change.  No loss but also no gain so that is something.  It's hard to focus on the health goal and not get fixated on the scale.

My friend had this awesome picture on her facebook page today.  It's a good reminder that I'm doing all this for my health.  Bottom line!  No excuses!

I'm liking the cross training more than I had anticipated.  It's nice to change things up and keep things from getting boring.  I have a couple of weeks before I officially begin my training plan for the Half Marathons but I'm going to keep my momentum going.  

One month before my next doctor's appointment.  It will be interesting to see what he says and what the next step will be.  I'm optimistic that we must be narrowing in on why I'm not losing weight but it has been a long and frustrating year.  Praying for answers and praying for patience.  

Thanks for the support!  

Race Day!!

I ran in the Cascade 10K this morning.  It was a balmy 26 degrees when the race started.  I was nervous about this race.  I have only been training for it for 4 weeks and while I have been working hard it still didn't seem like long enough.

My friend Faylene picked me up.  She is in the process of running a half dozen half marathons in honor of her half century birthday next November.  This was race #1 of the year.  We were laughing about how cold it was and that we must be slightly crazy to be doing this.

When we got to Cascade and grabbed our gear I ran into several people I knew from when we lived in the Turner area.  Always great to see old friends!  Got to hang out with my sister-in-law and her hubby and two older kiddos as well.  Which is good because they are so fast that I never see them after the race, they are long gone.  :-)

Faylene took off at 9:00 and then the 10K started 15 minutes later.  Took about the first mile to work the kinks out.  Was having some stiffness in my left hip going down my leg.  Then I felt pretty good.  I was in a good place and moving right along.  My Nike+gps kept telling me I was going faster than I really was but I knew I was still keeping a pretty steady pace so I wasn't worried about it.  Nothing like the cold to keep you motivated to keep moving.  Moving keeps you warm, stopping does not!  lol

Here's the info from today's race:

The Nike+gps had me going way farther than I actually did so my average time on the first picture is accurate.  However, when you calibrate a run it doesn't adjust the splits for your miles.  I figure my splits are probably about 30 or 40 seconds off.  BUT they still show that I had a steady pace AND that my 4th mile rocked.  Which is cool since it was my 4th mile!  

Here I am with my finisher medal.  I love those!  It means I finished! hehe

A really cool thing happened while I was waiting for Faylene.   I was about 50 yards in front of the finish line and watching people finish (both 10K and Half Marathon) and enjoying the people cheering on their friends when I noticed a boy walking and he was crying.  I don't know if he was finishing the 10K or the Half but either way, poor little guy!  He looked like he was about 11 or 12 and his mom was with him.  I could see her pointing to the finish line and telling him that he was almost done.  He was walking so slow, crying and shaking his head.  He looked totally beat.  Boy could I relate to that.  50 yards might as well be 50 miles sometimes.  So I started clapping and cheering.  "You got this!  You are awesome!!  You are almost there!!  You are ahead of all the wimps that are inside watching football!  You rock!!!" and I kept clapping.  Finally he rubbed both of his eyes, took a deep breath and he jogged the final stretch into the finish line!  I was woot wooting all the way.  It was awesome! I didn't know the kid, didn't talk to him after but that was the highlight of my race!  I felt like I was paying it forward for all the people in my life that cheer me on when I am just sure I can't take one more step.  

If you are one of those people who cheers m on, thank you!  It means SO much.  I couldn't do it without you!

My fabulous friend finished her Half not long after that.  She is amazing!  

So my first race of 2013 was not my fastest 10K I've ever done (my fastest was this same race two years ago) but I think I am the most proud of this one.  I know I put in my best effort.  Scale isn't changing but you know what?  I am changing inside and I am beginning to realize that that might be more important than what size pants I'm wearing.  

Next race is the Corvallis Half Marathon.  Here we go!!! 

Keep running!!

Aches and Pains

It's been a busy week!  Still tired, still slogging through my runs and workouts but at least I'm still slogging.

This week is the tapering week before my 10K race on Sunday.  This means you go on shorter runs to keep loose but don't over do so you can kick ass on race day.  (At least that's what I'm told.  Not sure I will be doing too much ass kicking.  More like trying not to die before the end. lol)

Monday was a 2 mile run and I decided to run on the track while my daughter was at her swim practice.  I was about 3 laps in and I got the WORST cramp in my right calf.  It hurt so bad!  I hobbled through one more lap and was ready to quit.  I decided to try walking and to take long strides to stretch out the calf to see if that would help.  It did help so I walked two laps and then did a really slow jog for the final two laps.  I got my two miles in but it wasn't pretty.  I'm really glad I have a job where I'm standing and moving around a lot.  My calf was still really right yesterday so it was good that I was not just sitting all day.

Last night I did 45 minutes of cross training.  Weights for my arms, crunches and then I added squats. I tried to do some burpees (my hubby showed me how) but it didn't feel very good on my calf so I only did two.  The squats where hard but a good kind of hard so that was good.  All this is going to have a benefit at some point.  At least that's what I keep being told.  :-)

Tonight was a 2.5 mile run.  I was a little worried about my calf because it was still tight but it was ok.  I could feel that it was tight but it didn't cramp up the way it had on Monday.  I had used our roller on my legs this morning and I think that really helped.  If you don't have a roller you need to get one!  It really does help.  This is what ours looks like:

The come in all different lengths and are to help loosen up your muscles and release the toxins that build up while you are exercising.

My first mile was one of my faster miles.  Then I slowed down.  No negative splits today.  Everything just kind of ached.  I could tell I had done squats and my muscles were sore in new places.  I ran two miles and then walked the last half mile.  I was starting to get really tight in my calves and hips and didn't want to cramp up like I did Monday so I just walked and stretched everything out.

I'm looking forward to the day when every single workout I do doesn't involve pain.  I know that that is my body changing and getting stronger but I would really like to go out and just feel like I'm rocking it. Some day!  Won't happen if I don't keep at it so I'm choosing to keep at it.

Tomorrow is 60 minutes of cross training.  My plan is to swim for 30 minutes and do weights, crunches and squats the other 30 minutes.

I like having a training plan because then I'm not working out according to how I feel.  I am sure I wouldn't have gone as far some days with my run if my plan and hadn't said to.  I know I wouldn't have added the cross training if the training plan hadn't said to.  The training plans are all over the Internet.  I've have also found some that look good on Pinterest.  The are also designed for all levels of experience, from beginner to really experienced.

One more month before my next doctors appointment.  Not really seeing changes yet and still tired so we shall see what the next month brings and where the next steps take me.

Thanks to all the people who have told me I'm inspiring.  I don't feel very inspiring most of the time but I'm glad my sharing is not just helping me.  :-)

I'll let you know how the 10K goes on Sunday!

Tough day!

Today was tough.

Yesterday I felt success, felt like I was making gains and was making progress.

Today I felt like I was slower and fatter than ever and nothing I do will ever change that.  

Not a cheerful way to start a post but it's my blog so I figured I don't have to be upbeat every time.  I'm going to have setbacks.  I'm going to have days where it doesn't seem worth it.  

Today wasn't really a set back, just a lot of hard work.  We were asked by our friends to go hiking today.  We have gone several times and while the hikes have worn me out they have been doable.  Today's hike was eight miles.  We went on a trail by Corvallis up to a place called Dimple Hill.  Four miles up and four miles down.  I was so frustrated with the fact that I was so slow and because everything hurt.  There has to be a point where I'm not struggling with every step I take.  I worry when I'm with a group that I'm holding everyone back, they would be going faster if they didn't have to wait for me.  What possibly ever made me believe that I should be out doing silly things like this?

The good news is that I did it!  Every single time I have a run, race or hike that I struggle through with every step I come out on the other side with such a great feeling of accomplishment.  Yep, today's hike was tough and I am tired and sore.  But you know what?  I did it.  I hiked four miles up, with a total climb of 1,600 feet in elevation gain.  Lots of up and then down and then up some more and then down.   Oh wait, then some more up.  

Wendie calls these trips "Hiking Therapy" cause you can work things out in your mind, vent, cry, laugh and in general get a lot of thoughts worked through.  I know that I'm harder on myself than anyone else.  I just want to get to the place where this isn't such HARD work ALL the time.  Where I can just go and enjoy the day and not feel like I'm going to fall over because my feet absolutely refuse to take one more step.  

I've NEVER had anyone I'm out and about with say anything that makes me feel badly or indicate in any way that I'm slowing them down or a hindrance to their good time.  So I have to own those feelings and know that they are all my own insecurities.  I have wonderful people in my life who are encouraging me daily and let me know that they believe in me.  Now I need to start believing in myself more.  

Each day is a journey.  Some days they path is easy and other days isn't.  

Source: imgfave.com via Lisa on Pinterest

BRRRRRR!!!!!

Here were my reasons for not going on my run this morning:

• Sleeping in would be awesome.
• It was 21 degrees outside.
• I have a haircut appointment at 10:45 am and wouldn't want to be late for it. 
• It was 21 degrees outside.
• If I waited to run in the afternoon I would mess up my pretty new hair.
• It was 21 degrees outside.  

Do you see a pattern?  Mostly, I didn't want to run because it was 21 degrees outside.  Here are my reasons for going on my run this morning:

• I woke up at 7 am without an alarm clock so I was up anyway.
• If I ran this morning I wouldn't have to worry about messing up my pretty new hair.
• It was 21 degrees outside so I would be able to brag about being tough and running anyway.  

So I headed out.  Cold doesn't begin to cover it.  I am very thankful that it wasn't windy too.  I had all my good cold weather running gear on and I went and found the scarf/tube thingy that goes around my neck that I use for skiing.  That was a good call!!  Kept it over my mouth and that made it easier to breath.  

Here's me after the run.  At one point, about a mile in, I had ice all over my eyelashes too.  It was an odd thing to be cold and hot all at the same time.  

My run today was 5.5 miles.  Luckily the roads weren't too slick since it was dry yesterday but it took me awhile to work the kinks out.  So I just plugged along and during my last two miles I got into a really good rhythm and felt the best I have since I started back with my running.  

I was SO stoked when I got home and looked at my splits.  I haven't run anything under 14 minutes since I started back with running after Christmas.  I don't think I have run a mile under 13 minutes in over a year!  AND it was my after I had already run three.  My last mile was slower but still faster than the first three so I'm okay with that.  It doesn't show on the picture but my 5th mile was 14:08 so I slowed down a minute in pace from the previous mile but overall it was still faster than the beginning.  

This week I added in cross training.  Can't hurt, right?  So Tuesday I did 30 minutes of weights for my arms and crunches.  My nutritionist had encouraged me to work on my arms.  She said women in their 40s loose muscle mass in their arms and upper body quickly.  Thursday I was supposed to do 60 minutes of cross training.  I did 30 minutes of weights and crunches and then went to the pool and swam laps for a half an hour.  I don't know how far I swam, I was trying to just keep moving.  My kids are all swimmers, not to mention my ironman-to-be hubby, so I have a new respect for them.  I was pooped when I got done!!!  The tired thing was a bit difficult Wednesday and Thursday this week but I managed to get my workouts done, which is an improvement from before.  One day at a time, one week at a time.  

I'm going to a fancy dinner with a friend for her work tonight.  I went a few years ago and I'm trying not to focus on the fact that I'm heavier now than I was then.  That's the kind of thinking that makes me spiral down to misery and causes me to want to give up.  So I'm putting on my pretty clothes, got a pretty new haircut and color and I'm going to go out and have fun with one of my best friends.   Maybe next year the picture will show a slimmer, healthier me.  And if I'm the biggest girl in the room, so what.  I bet not many of those skinny chicks went out and ran 5.5 miles in the 21 degree weather.  lol

Making changes, one day, one run at a time.  Still running in place and getting nowhere fast...but learning to enjoy the view where I am now.  

Self-Talk

I'm finding more and more that a lot of running, or any kind of exercise really, is all about attitude and being able to talk yourself through it when it gets hard.  I watched my friends husband on the Biggest Loser this week.  I enjoy that show and watching the people feel successful in their journey.  Having someone I know on the show adds another layer of inspiration.  One of the things that has always stood out to me is the way the trainers talk to the participants.  They all have different styles, some harsher than others.  But basically all they are doing is being the Self-Talk for the person because that person's Self-Talk isn't there or is to quiet.

What do I mean by Self-Talk?  Well, it's how you talk to yourself to keep moving, keep going, work through the pain.  Tonight I did one mile of intervals.  I was running on the track and had to do a three mile run.  I decided that for the second mile I would run as fast as I could on the straight stretches and walk on the corners.  Each interval got a little slower (which I know is normal) and harder.  I had finished three laps doing this and had one more to go, which meant two more sprints.  I was whining in my head and then I decided that I could do it.  I can do anything two times.  So I finished that lap with sprints.  Next I had decided before my run that I would run the first mile, intervals the second mile and then run the last mile.  I got two laps into my last mile and I was tired and everything was starting to hurt and I was considering walking.  Then I realized that I only had two laps to go and as I had decided earlier, I can do anything two times.  So I finished up my run as planned.

Two different times during this run my body and brain tried to convince me to slow down or quit.  Two different times my Self-Talk got me through it and I kept going.  I don't have Jillian, Bob or Dolvett yelling at me and getting in my face to keep me moving.  I have to do it for myself.  That hasn't been easy for me in the past but I'm working on it.

Success is coming.  I am seeing a small increase in my average speed over the last week which is a good feeling.  My scale is reflecting some changes.  I will share in a few days when I'm sure that it is a stable loss and not a fluctuation.   :-) I am tired this week after going back to work but I am not as exhausted as I was feeling last month so I'm hopeful the B12 is working.  I am having to let some things go in order to get my runs in.  My house still has Christmas lights on it and I have decorations still out.  I'll take care of it this weekend.  I can only do so much and I'm trying to learn to put myself first.  Not an easy task for a working wife and mother.  There is always so much to get done.

I did 1/2 hour of cross-training yesterday, arm exercises with weights (per my nutritionist) and crunches.  Tomorrow I'm supposed to do one hour of cross-training so I will repeat that and add 1/2 hour swim.  We will see how it goes.  :-)

My good friend Faylene posted a meme on Facebook today for me.  Another good reminder that I'm WAY ahead of people that aren't doing anything.  It said "6 minutes or 16 minutes, a mile is still a mile."

Here's my run information for today:

Keep Moving!!!  

Balancing Act

Life is a balancing act and sometimes I feel like one of those clowns at the circus.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  The ones that have the really long sticks and they are twirling plates on the top of the sticks.  At first they have one stick with a plate, that's not too bad.  Then they add another stick and plate.  Now they have one in each hand, keeping the sticks moving to keep the plates going.  Then they start having another clown add sticks more sticks to their hands and you just keep waiting for one of the plates to fall.

With work, husband, kids, sports, house cleaning, meals, grading, etc.  (the list goes on) I feel like I'm holding all those sticks trying desperately to keep the plates in the air.  In order to keep myself from going complete crazy I have often laid down the sticks that I felt weren't important.  Guess what those things were.  Yep, things that were just for me.  It is so easy for me to keep things going when it is for others but when it is important for me it gets low priority.  I'm learning that I have to make myself a higher priority.  In the long run, a healthier mom, wife and teacher will make for one that has an easier time keeping all those plates in the air.

I was at work a little after 7 a.m.  Had a great day with my students.  Various things after work kept me there until after 5 and I didn't get home until close to 6.  According to my 10K training schedule I was supposed to do a 3.5 mile run today.  So I got home, changed my clothes and headed out.

I had all my safety gear, reflective vest, red flashy light and flashlight.  I ran down a road that is near my house that has good sidewalks, is well lit and is busy.  This way I could see well, be seen well and there was lots of traffic around in case something happened.  If I am running in the dark alone I try not to be stupid about it.  My family knew where I was going and about how long it should take.

I did okay.  The first mile was okay, second mile was slower but sped things up for the third mile.  Ran the 3.5 and then walked the last bit to my house.

I have now been running every other day since the day after Christmas.  I feel like I'm on the right track for change.  I have to keep reminding myself that I may not see any change.  I have my next doctor's appointment in February.  I want to be able to go in there and really feel like I have done absolutely everything that I am supposed to do to be healthy.

Here are the stats about my run:

So day 1 of work and running is done.  I felt like I was running in place and getting nowhere fast.  But since I'm trying to change my attitude....at least I was running!  :-)

Hills!!!

Happy Anniversary to me!  My husband and I are celebrating our 23^rd anniversary today.  He surprised me with a couple of nights as a Bed & Breakfast in Newport.  We arrived last night.  We would have shown up earlier in the day but he surprised me with my first ever massage before we left.  Joe has been getting a sports massage about once a month to help with his Ironman training.  We had to stop in Corvallis because he had one scheduled.  What I didn’t know was that he had scheduled a massage for me right after he was done.  It was AMAZING!  It felt so good.  If you need a good place for a massage and you live in the Corvallis/Albany area you need to go see Wendie Gum at Body of Health & Wellness.  http://www.yourbodyofhealth.com  She rocks!!  After my massage we headed to the beach.  I still didn’t know where we were going but it was fun to be surprised.  I’m married to a very good man!

Today was supposed to be a four mile run.  My original plan was to run two miles down the beach and then two miles back.  However, where we are staying has a wide stream going right along the rocks for a very long way and no way to get around it easily on the beach.  We decided that we could just run out to the Yaquina Lighthouse and back since the B&B is just down from the entrance on Hwy 101.  So I went from going on a flat run to going on a hill run. 

Now, I have been on that road before in our car.  But hills look much different when you are walking or running up them.  Here's the difference.

 

Total exaggeration I will admit but that’s how it feels.  I ran all the way out to the lighthouse without stopping and was feeling pretty good.  But then I realized that in order to get my four miles in I would either have to run out to the lighthouse twice or I would have to make the loop longer.  I saw Joe coming down this trail behind the lighthouse and figured, no pain, no gain and headed up.  I got to the second switchback and had to start walking.  It was a long ways up.  I was getting frustrated that I was walking but then I reminded myself that I was out there doing it and I would get some great pictures at the top.  Here are the pictures:

So today was about distance and hills rather than speed.  I think my legs and butt are going to be tight later today.  J  Here’s the information from todays excursion:

Joe and I will be enjoying the rest of our mini-vacation, adding to our 23 years of memories.  I’m very lucky to be able to spend my life with my best friend!! 

Keep me in your thoughts during the next week as I go back to work.  This will be where it gets hard for me to keep running cause I’m so tired from work.  Hopefully the B-12 is helping and I won’t be as wiped at the end of the day!  

Counting my Blessings

Today I ran a 5K.  And it was very, very cold.  And I am sore.  And I'm running SO slow! And I started the run with a bad attitude.  Since I'm working on changing my attitude I started thinking about it while I ran.  The nice thing about running is that you have time to let your mind meander.  ;)

I was thinking about how I did an awful lot of "Why me?" and "Poor me!" last year.  Obviously that has to change and so while on my run I started thinking about all the blessings in my life.  I know I have them but when I started listing them in my head I realized that my cup runneth over.  (Ha ha, runneth, get it? lol)

So here are my blessings I came up with on my run.  Some are obvious and some I realized I had been taking for granted.

• My husband!  My best friend and biggest fan.  He wants me to be healthy but has never made me feel like he won't love me because I'm heavy.  He is training for an Ironman next June and I love being able to be his biggest fan too.
• My children!  I have three fantastic kids.  They are bright, funny people and I love being their mom.  
• Dwayne & Faylene.  Our best friends and we have laughed (a lot) over the years.  Faylene lets me vent and be frustrated about my weight struggles but never says to just take care of it.  Although I'm sure she has thought it!  Dwayne just encourages me all the time.  I couldn't ask for better friends!
• New friends Josh & Wendie.  God puts people in your life just when you need them.  It isn't often that you find people you click with immediately.  I have learned to hold on to those people when I find them.  Josh & Wendie, you are stuck with me now!  
• My Job.  I LOVE what I do!  I teach 7th & 8th Grade Social Studies and I love every frustrating, rewarding minute of it.  I work at a great school with a supportive administrator (believe me, that isn't always the case) and I work with two great teachers in Social Studies.  They have made my transition into the job this year so fun and I really enjoy working with them.  I love working with kids, they have so much potential and they are so funny!  I laugh at work everyday!  Can't get much better than that.
• My home.  I live in a very nice home, with plenty of room and a huge backyard.  I have great neighbors and schools.  I know that when I go out on a cold day for a run I will come home to a nice warm house and then follow that up with a nice warm shower.  

Since it's was a shorter run that's all I came up with for today.  But what a great list!

I use the NIKE+ app when I run.  I started using it when I first started running because I didn't have a smart phone but could use the sensor and my iPod to track my miles.  When I got my iphone I switched over to Nike+gps.  I like the app for the most part.  I can't decide if I should switch over to Runkeeper, which is what my husband uses, or stick with Nike.

Here is the information from my run today:

I worked hard at the end to have a negative split for my last mile.  You have to know that sharing my time is hard for me because I'm really self-conscious about how slow I am.  But I figure that is another motivation for me to work on getting faster!  If I get faster then I won't feel so self-concious about it, right?  Right!  

Inspiration!

Inspiration comes in many forms and sometimes at unexpected times.  Found the post from Flintland this morning on Facebook and I loved it.  It shows what I have felt over the last two and half years of my own journey in running.  Not so much the struggle, the running slow and being out of breath.  More the idea that people who run and truly love to run are part of a wonderful community.  I have never been in a race or part of an event where someone said "You suck, why are you here?"  Every time I get nothing but high fives, you go girl! and encouragement all along the way.

If you are looking for motivation, sign up for a race, any length will do.  My first was a 5K.  I was dead last and probably a good 10 minutes behind everyone else.  I was cheered at the end like I had just won the gold medal at the Olympics.  Hard not to feel proud with that kind of reaction from complete strangers.  The thing is, they understand.  They know that you have accomplished much just by being there.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that when it's cold, rainy and I would rather be sitting on my couch eating ice cream.  But then I see my finisher medals from all the races I have done over the last two years and I put on my running shoes and GO!  :-)

Setting up my training schedule for a 10K later this month.  Just a warm up for the half marathons I'm doing in April!  Time to get serious.  I hope you will join my running community in cheering me on.  I also hope that you will join my running community if you haven't already.  It's a pretty wonderful group of people to hang out with.  :-)

FlintLand: Hey, Fat Girl.

FlintLand: Hey, Fat Girl.: Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy...

Hangover Run!

I have two goals for 2013.  I want to be as healthy as possible and have a ton of fun along the way.  So what do I do the first day of the new year?  I ran in a 3K run called The Hangover Run.  It is put on by the fabulous people at Run Wild Adventures!  If you want to check out races put on by them here's the link:

http://www.runwildadventures.com

They do all kinds of trail runs and mud runs from fall until spring all over Oregon.  So much fun!

It was very cold today when we started.  I think it was around 28 degrees.  This made it a bit hard for me to breath.  The cure for this problem came at the aid stop halfway through the race.  This station had the normal water and more!  It's not every race that has beer, Bloody Marys, and whiskey shots to get you through the race.  I had a whiskey shot and that warmed me right up and funny, breathing wasn't as hard the second half of the race.

After the grueling (ha!) 3K they also had a beer mile.  I did not participate since I really don't like beer.  However, my hubby did and it was VERY entertaining to watch.  The runners had to down a glass of beer, run a quarter mile, another beer, another quarter mile, etc.  Basically 4 beers as they ran one mile.  If anyone puked they had to run a penalty lap.  So gross!

All in all it was a great day with good friends and lots of laughing!  Not a bad way to start off 2013!

My awesome hubby and me before the race!  It was COLD!!  :-)

Day one of the new attitude was successful!  I hope everyone had a great NewYears Day!  Happy New Year!!!