Life has a way of throwing us curve balls.
I like to have a plan.
When I get a curve ball, I can adjust the plan as needed. But I still have a plan.
However, once in a while it feels like a bit more than just a curve ball.
It feels more like I'm getting hit by the ball.
Repeatedly.
Seems like that is how things have been going lately.
Lots of things going on. Some things are totally out of my control. Others are because of decisions my husband and I have made a long time ago and the timing just makes it hard.
Last fall I made the decision to dial back my training some and just participate in sprint triathlons for the coming season.
I already knew there was going to be a lot on my plate and that seemed like the smart thing to do.
Fast forward six months and I've been struggling with finding balance between all the things I need to do and getting my workouts done for me.
The workouts for me have taken a backseat to everything else.
This totally sucks because I know that when I finally get through all this stuff I will be starting over...again.
When I started running I had this vision of how I would lose weight and feel great. I had some thoughts to bigger and badder goals to reach by the time I turned 50. I thought all of these things were totally possible considering the amount of work I was putting in.
Now I am in the year where I actually turn 50.
I have gained back a bunch of weight.
I haven't done any events this year at all and it's already June.
My workouts are practically non-existent.
Not where I thought I would be at all.
Most of this winter has been working my way around to being okay with that.
I don't want to say it's not my fault (because it is).
Or that other things had to become priorities (which they did).
I try really hard to live a No Excuses life.
But sometimes that is just really hard. (This is being said in the most whiny voice possible.)
I tend to think of my year in seasons, usually starting with fall. Probably because I'm a teacher and that's when the school year starts. Fall, winter, spring, summer. There are beautiful parts of all of those seasons but there are also parts that are not so great. None of them last forever. Sometimes it seems like it and then suddenly we are in the next season.
Oregon fall is beautiful. We tend to nice weather, warm but not too hot, and the leaves start turning. I love hiking in the fall when the air is starting to have a crisp edge to it in the morning but then it warms up. But fall is also the time when we start getting more rainy days and it reminders that the damp winter is on its way.
Winter can be lovely in different ways. It rains a lot in the valley where I live. I love listening to the sound of the rain on the tin cover that is over our back porch. I like hiking when it's a light drizzle and everything smells clean and the leaves have a sparkle to them. We can drive to the coast and watch the waves churn because of a storm or drive to the mountains and play in the snow. It's nice to be able to change things up when it's feeling a bit dreary. But it can also be hard to have the relentless gray skies and not have the time to change things up because life gets so busy.
Spring in Oregon is like a roller coaster at times. Mother nature likes to tease us with amazing days of warmth and blue skies and then slam us with a week of non-stop rain. Hiking becomes an adventure in spotting wild flowers and baby deer. It's also the end of the school year and the students are losing their minds and the teachers are losing their patience.
Summer! Long summer days, sunshine and time for workouts that are followed by naps. I love summer. I don't enjoy days where the temperature is over 90 and it's so hot at night I can't sleep. Luckily we don't get there too often and I know it could be much worse. My son lives in Arizona and I look at the temperature where he is and think it's just ridiculous!
Much like the different times of the year there are seasons in life. With each season there are parts that are beautiful and amazing and there are parts that are not as much fun or a struggle. Sometimes the beautiful and amazing happens at the same time as the struggling season.
This past year has brought on several different seasons in our life happening all at the same time. As I said earlier, I have felt bombarded and overwhelmed a lot this year.
I have been focusing on all the hard parts and struggles and forgetting to look for the wildflowers.
I was talking with my coach a few weeks ago and he was telling me how I'm going through a season in my life where racing isn't a priority and that is okay. I need to work at still moving as much as I can and remember that this isn't permanent, it's just a season.
Obviously I have been thinking about that quite a bit. Funny how the brain clamps onto an idea or word and runs with it.
Two of the seasons in our life that are happening right now are rather significant. First, we are selling our house and moving. Downsizing some but getting some awesome features in a home that are going to be exactly what we are wanting in a house for a couple of empty-nesters.
Second, our youngest is graduating high school. She will be heading off to college in August. Our other two kiddos are home to see their baby sister graduate. It has been amazing to have them all home and hear them laughing in the other room or hanging out with us and just visiting.
Graduation is tonight and then Meighan will be off on a trip with a friend for a few weeks. We will be moving the first week in July, which sounds really far away but I know will be here in no time.
I'm ready for this season to be winding down.
I'm ready to not have so many life changing seasons happening at one time.
I'm ready to take a deep breath and have a moment or two before I regroup and start moving forward again.
Trying to not beat myself up and the work I'm going to have to do just to get where I was last fall.
Trying to remember this is just a season in my life.
No season lasts forever.
Sometimes that's a good thing.
I like to have a plan.
When I get a curve ball, I can adjust the plan as needed. But I still have a plan.
However, once in a while it feels like a bit more than just a curve ball.
It feels more like I'm getting hit by the ball.
Repeatedly.
Lots of things going on. Some things are totally out of my control. Others are because of decisions my husband and I have made a long time ago and the timing just makes it hard.
Last fall I made the decision to dial back my training some and just participate in sprint triathlons for the coming season.
I already knew there was going to be a lot on my plate and that seemed like the smart thing to do.
Fast forward six months and I've been struggling with finding balance between all the things I need to do and getting my workouts done for me.
The workouts for me have taken a backseat to everything else.
This totally sucks because I know that when I finally get through all this stuff I will be starting over...again.
When I started running I had this vision of how I would lose weight and feel great. I had some thoughts to bigger and badder goals to reach by the time I turned 50. I thought all of these things were totally possible considering the amount of work I was putting in.
Now I am in the year where I actually turn 50.
I have gained back a bunch of weight.
I haven't done any events this year at all and it's already June.
My workouts are practically non-existent.
Not where I thought I would be at all.
Most of this winter has been working my way around to being okay with that.
I don't want to say it's not my fault (because it is).
Or that other things had to become priorities (which they did).
I try really hard to live a No Excuses life.
But sometimes that is just really hard. (This is being said in the most whiny voice possible.)
I tend to think of my year in seasons, usually starting with fall. Probably because I'm a teacher and that's when the school year starts. Fall, winter, spring, summer. There are beautiful parts of all of those seasons but there are also parts that are not so great. None of them last forever. Sometimes it seems like it and then suddenly we are in the next season.
Oregon fall is beautiful. We tend to nice weather, warm but not too hot, and the leaves start turning. I love hiking in the fall when the air is starting to have a crisp edge to it in the morning but then it warms up. But fall is also the time when we start getting more rainy days and it reminders that the damp winter is on its way.
 |
| Silver Falls State Park, November 2018 |
 |
| The Sisters, Central Oregon, January 2019 |
This past year has brought on several different seasons in our life happening all at the same time. As I said earlier, I have felt bombarded and overwhelmed a lot this year.
I have been focusing on all the hard parts and struggles and forgetting to look for the wildflowers.
I was talking with my coach a few weeks ago and he was telling me how I'm going through a season in my life where racing isn't a priority and that is okay. I need to work at still moving as much as I can and remember that this isn't permanent, it's just a season.
Obviously I have been thinking about that quite a bit. Funny how the brain clamps onto an idea or word and runs with it.
Two of the seasons in our life that are happening right now are rather significant. First, we are selling our house and moving. Downsizing some but getting some awesome features in a home that are going to be exactly what we are wanting in a house for a couple of empty-nesters.
Second, our youngest is graduating high school. She will be heading off to college in August. Our other two kiddos are home to see their baby sister graduate. It has been amazing to have them all home and hear them laughing in the other room or hanging out with us and just visiting.
Graduation is tonight and then Meighan will be off on a trip with a friend for a few weeks. We will be moving the first week in July, which sounds really far away but I know will be here in no time.
I'm ready for this season to be winding down.
I'm ready to not have so many life changing seasons happening at one time.
I'm ready to take a deep breath and have a moment or two before I regroup and start moving forward again.
Trying to not beat myself up and the work I'm going to have to do just to get where I was last fall.
Trying to remember this is just a season in my life.
No season lasts forever.
Sometimes that's a good thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment