The Shamrock Run That Wasn't

Today I was supposed to do the Shamrock Run in Portland, OR.  A 15K with some serious hills and a whole lot of green.

Today I was supposed to kick last years time to the curb and show off all my badassness.  (I know, not a real word, work with me here.)

Today was supposed to be a fun day with old friends and new friends with laughter and stories.

Today was none of that.  Instead today was about sleeping, doing homework and being sad.  Not even close to being as much fun.

I have been fighting a cold all week.  First my throat was sore, then I was coughing.  Saturday I woke up with a slight ear ache.  It wasn't too bad at first so I took some Advil and went on with my plans for the day. We drove up to my friend Christa's house to pick up my Shamrock Run race bib and shirt.  I haven't seen Christa for years and it was fun to see her and visit for a bit.  But while we were visiting my ear started getting worse and doing this weird crackling thing that made me just cringe.  We didn't stay long and headed back for home.  We stopped at the Woodburn Outlet stores on the way home because Joe needed some new triathlon gear.  At this point I was in a lot of pain.  That was a very long shopping trip.  We got back in the car and I was just exhausted and I hadn't even done anything other than try to manage my pain and wait for Joe to finish shopping.  When we got home I took some more Advil and fell asleep in the recliner.  When I woke up my ear was completely plugged, had a ringing in it and sound had this weird echo.  Kind of like when you get feedback on your phone and you get an echo of yourself talking.  Or a TV is on in another room on the same channel.  It just sounded weird.

I went to bed early and I was so tired I knew that getting up at 4:00 a.m. in order to drive to Portland, find parking and be at the start of the race by 7:30 a.m. was not in the cards.  That was a hard decision to make.  I took Nyquil which totally knocks me out and I get really solid sleep.  I only take it when I know I can sleep in or I can go to bed early enough that I will be fine in the morning.  I slept until 7:00 a.m.  It was awesome!  Between the puppy and work I can't remember the last time I slept 10 solid hours.  In spite of that I have been napping all day so evidently my body needs the rest.  So I sleep for a bit (with the puppy snuggled in) and then work on homework, sleep for a bit, work on homework, repeat.  I finally finished my homework so now I can nap some more.

Me and Bailey.  She is SO CUTE!! :-)

It has been hard to see all the pictures of my friends at the Shamrock.  They are having so much fun and I'm not there with them.  There is a teeny part of me that wants to be really hard on myself for not going, that part of me will suck me back down into my funk.  But overall I know that I made the right decision and my body (and my students tomorrow) will thank me in the long run.  I'm hoping tomorrow I will feel good enough to get back to my training for the half marathon in April.

I have been thinking a lot about my goals and what I want from my running.  I want to enjoy it and I want it to help me be healthier and more fit (as in wearing a smaller size of clothes and not wheeze when I do strenuous activity.)  I have spent much of the past three years working on long runs and have had successes, especially in the past year.  Lots of PRs and overall a faster pace.  Yet the weight comes off SO slowly and the speed goes up and down.  I know that part of that is because of the other things that have come up and my body has had to adjust to new medications and new ways of eating.  Adjusting takes time.   Knowing it and being happy about it are two different things.

I think I'm going to spend the summer working on getting faster on my 5K and 10K races.  I did four half marathons in 2013 and one big relay race.  I can go distance.  Now I want to get faster.  Funny, I totally got sucked into my first half marathon almost four years ago and I think I skipped the enjoyment of getting better at the shorter distances.  Another benefit would be the shorter runs for training during the week.  Right now work is super busy and the last quarter of the year is usually crazy.  So much content to cover, so little time left.  Trying to keep up with that sometimes puts running on the back burner.  I'm hoping that focusing on the shorter runs will make it less stressful for me.  I also have a bike ride to get ready for this summer so maybe it is time to mix things up and try some new things.   (Tour de Cure, if you want to sponsor me check out my blog about the ride: http://runninginplaceandgettingnowherefast.blogspot.com/2014/01/tour-de-cure-american-diabetes.html)

I have a habit of being really hard on myself for things that are really rather silly in hindsight.  I push myself and then get frustrated when I don't see the results I want.  Circumstances the last few days have made me really look at that and I have decided to quit doing that.  I will do my best and that's all I can do.  Some days life will get in the way of my best.  New puppy, end of the quarter craziness, sickness, activities with my family, grad school....life in general can get in the way.  I need to not look as those things as obstacles but rather see them as the beauty that is my full, crazy, wonderful life.  I have an amazing family, fantastic husband and great friends.  The only person who is criticizing my efforts in running is me.  I need to stop doing that.  The last few months have been hard.  The next few weeks look to be shaping up to be more of the same.  But I will remember I have an amazing family, fantastic husband and great friends.  Even when I don't run.

Trying to be proud. 

There are people I love that I know are in a deep, dark pain right now.  I share some of that pain but at the same time I know it pales to what they are going through.  It puts things into perspective.  When I run this week it will be to help my hurting heart.  I'm not going to run for speed or distance or for any training plan.  Even if I only run one mile it will be okay.  I will use my running time this week as my prayer time for the hurting family.  God has a way of using horrible situations to help us grow stronger. Some days though, I don't want to be stronger.  Sigh.

Sorry if I rambled a bit today.  Lot of things rattling around in my head.  Think I am actually looking forward to a Monday and the distraction of my fabulous students.  :-)  Not sure if I will wear my race shirt or not, since I didn't run.  Feels a little like I shouldn't because I didn't earn it by running.  On the other hand, I made some good choices for me this weekend that should be celebrated.  So maybe I will wear it.  Need to wear something green for St. Patricks Day anyway.  :-)

Today was the day that I was supposed to run the Shamrock Run.  I didn't and that is okay.  

In a Funk

I have been struggling the last few weeks.  There is no sugar coating it or putting a positive spin on things.  My motivation has been non-existent, my self-discpline is gone and I feel like a blob.  I try to stay positive and look on the good side of situations but that has been hard lately.  I'm not sure why.  I have not run, I have eaten crap and I have cried.  None of it good.

I have spent this weekend really examining what my problem is.  Why am I in this funk?  I went to the doctor on the 14th and it was a positive visit.  I have lost some more weight, I am doing well with my blood sugar levels and am less tired than I have been in years.  And yet after that visit I have been discouraged and fighting frustration.  You would think the opposite would be true.

I have been struggling the last few weeks.  I have been grumpy, defensive and in general not a very fun person to be around.

A few days ago I saw this video

I

I had seen the link several times on Facebook but hadn't watched it.  I was busy, I wasn't in the mood, whatever.  I finally watched it on Thursday.  I have always admired Scott Hamilton.  He was an amazing athlete and because of my love of all things Olympics I loved watching him win the gold medal.  Since then I have admired his kindness and professionalism when covering skating events and the Olympics.   

This video made me cry.  Not because he has had difficulties in his life.  But because of the way he handled them.  About eight minutes into the video is where I began to cry.  Where the nurse comes and asks him about his prayers.  If you haven't watched it, do it now.  :-)

I am a woman of faith.  I believe there is an all powerful Lord who loves me.  He loved me enough to send His only beloved son to die for my sins.  This Lord has been with me through blessings and trials. Through loss and when my cup has runneth over.  Those of you who read this and don't believe in God may laugh and scoff.  But I KNOW that He is real and I KNOW that He loves me!  That doesn't mean that I don't have a hard time and struggle.  It means that I know who to go to for comfort.  I don't expect my God to fix everything but I do know that the is there for me.  Much like my dearest friends.  Many people get angry with God because He doesn't fix things.  We don't get angry with our best friend when they can't fix a problem and all they can do is be there for us.  We are grateful for the fact that they are there and that they care enough to be there for us.  I believe it is the same with God.  How can I be angry that He doesn't fix my problems?  Instead I am thankful that He is a comfort when I am going through a tough time.  He is with me always.  

In the days since I watched the video above I have prayed for comfort.  I have asked for help in dealing with my frustrations.  And I have received much.  A friend that gave me a hug and reminded me that I have people that believe in me.  A husband that actually got angry because I was being so negative.  You wouldn't think anger would be a positive thing but it was for me.  Then this morning on Facebook I saw several posts that spoke to me.  

A friend posted this off the Facebook page "I See Fit People"

Matt's Tip of the Day:

Two steps forward and one step back is still forward progress.  I know this can be hard to remember especially when you are working so hard for something and you get knocked back by one of life's little surprises, but in the big picture, you are still moving toward your goal.  The reality of it is the road toward success is rarely a smooth ride and never a straight line.  There are always twists and turns and you may change direction now and then, but you are still moving forward.  You will feel like you are going backwards at times but as long as you don't give up, you are on the right track.  It's not easy, it's not fun, and sometimes it's not pretty, but it is important to remember, no matter how hard it is to accept, two steps forward and one step back still puts you one step closer to your goal. 

I guess I have been in the step backwards mode.  Kind of nice to know it's normal!  :-)

Then I was this meme on another friend's wall.  She is not a runner and so it has nothing to do with running or exercise at all.  And yet it struck home for me as a runner.    

I have had a hard time remembering that lately.  I haven't felt amazing at all, not even a little bit, not even a teeny tiny bit!

The final thing that helped put things in perspective today was this one!  Another friend, who is not a runner, posted this on her timeline.  

Wow!  Talk about an inspiration!  

I have been wallowing, I admit it.  I have been frustrated that no matter how much I improve everyone around me is better.  Instead of focusing on my own accomplishments I have been comparing myself to others.  I want to be able to BE with my friends during races, not just having them wait for me to finish hours after them.  Every time I make gains so do they so I never can catch up.  Not that I want them to do bad or not make gains just so I can catch up.  So then I start feeling guilty that I'm jealous.  I know that they only way to get better is for me to keep working but sometimes I just feel like I will always be the one everyone is waiting for.  Always.  

I need to get back to remembering that the only one I can truly compete with is myself.  I need to remember that improvements are improvements and are worthy of celebration.  

I ran a trail run this weekend.  It was tough.  I have done it once before.  This time I hadn't been running consistently and hadn't been doing what I needed to do in order to be ready for the hills.  But, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  The two big uphills weren't fun but not as miserable as I remember from three years ago.  I ran most of the down hills, except for the parts that were totally full of slick mud, it wasn't worth getting hurt.  I met a very nice woman at about mile 2.5 and we did the whole rest of the run together and talked and laughed the whole time.  She was young and skinny and beautiful and she was slow, just like me.  lol  Seemed funny to me.  We finished together with a high five.  I love the people I meet on races and it was a good reminder that people aren't thinking "OMG, why is she even trying?"  They most likely thinking "Rock on!  Good job!"  At least that's what I'm betting on.  I improved six minutes on my time from the last time I did this run.  I wish it was more but considering the lack of training I have had I am amazed that I had any improvement at all.  

I've decided to be done with my funk.  I need to get over myself.  I'm going to be happy with how far I've come and look forward to how far I am going to get.  I'm going to quit comparing myself to others and just be happy with my own improvements.  I work hard enough for them so I shouldn't discount them just because they don't compare to someone else's improvements.  

God is my comfort and my strength.  I have received many messages this weekend to remind me to keep at, I can do this!   Tomorrow is a new day.  :)  Boy, am I glad about that!

Taking a Stand

I started this blog a little over a year ago and it was totally for me.  I needed to be able to write down what I was going and how I was feeling about it.  I thought that maybe I would do better by having an outlet for my frustrations and that maybe I would be held a little accountable by the two or three people who might be reading what I was up to.

I know my blog is not one that gets shared and read by millions of people.  But it gets read by more people than I ever anticipated.  As of right now I have had over 6,450 views of my blog.  That's just crazy to me.

When I started this blog I thought maybe, just maybe someone might be a little inspired that they aren't the only one out there struggling to get healthy.  That it hasn't been an easy journey and someone is going down the difficult road too.

Sometimes I have to giggle when people comment on Facebook that I inspire them and they are the people that are already thin and healthy and look fabulous.  How am I an inspiration to people who already look like they have it all figured out?  That part I don't get.  But hey, I'm going to roll with it.

I had a good run last night.  I realized a few things while running.  First thing I realized is that I have been slacking.  Now, I will cut myself a little bit of a break because I have had some things to work through.  The medication that I started taking at Thanksgiving has caused me to have an upset stomach during my runs.  This has contributed to me being slower.  I also have not been very consistent with my training.  I  seem to have caught every cold that came around in January.  That was the pits!  The combination of the nausea and the colds running has been difficult and very slow.  I have had runs where I felt pretty good but was really slow.  At least slower than I had been doing in October and November.  This has been so frustrating because I felt like I was really making improvements in my speed and suddenly I've taken three giant steps backward.

Last night I realized that I have been kind of resting on those issues.  I haven't been pushing myself hard because my stomach was upset or because I had a cold.  I was happy that I had enough energy to get my butt out and actually accomplish a run so I didn't push myself to go faster or longer.  I did just enough.  Just enough isn't cutting it.

Last night I ran three miles on the track.  The first mile was just under 13 minutes.  It was work to get that and I was once again frustrated.  Then I decided I really wanted negative splits because I haven't done that in months so I picked up the pace.  That was even more work.  During mile two is when I realized that I hadn't really pushed myself to the point where it was really difficult in a very long time.  So I decided that I was going to have negative splits for the run and that my last mile would be under 12 minutes.

I had to really work hard to make this happen.  My breathing was difficult and I really had to work at getting it to smooth out.  My legs were tired and hurt and I wanted to stop so many times.  But I know that in order to achieve some of the things I want this year I am going to have to start pushing again.  It is really hard to do this sometimes and I had to do a lot of self-talk to keep moving.

Boy am I glad I kept moving!  This is not my best three miles but it's the best three miles I have had in months.  And because I had pushed myself and decided to get negative splits with my last mile being my fastest mile I was very excited when I looked at my splits.  That is the part I love about running.  When I push and feel crappy, sore and tired.  I can't breathe and I am pretty sure I'm ridiculous for having such silly goals.  Then I get done and realize that I did what I set out to do.  That's the part I love.  I pushed and I got it done.  I don't every time but it sure is a great feeling when I do.

Here is last night's run:

I'm smiling!  

I managed to get negative splits, kept the first two miles under 13 minutes each and got the last one under 12 minutes.  It's been awhile since I ran an 11 anything mile.  I will take it.

Next step is to get back into my training routine.  Between sickness and then snow my motivation to go out and run has been slim to none.  I have too many races coming up to let that continue.  ;-)

I found this on Pinterest today and it summed how I am feeling right now.  I've got no one to look at but myself when I don't achieve what I want.  I am a strong woman and I'm only going to get stronger!

So now I'm making my stand and I'm dealing.  That's a victory.

Pictures are Worth a Thousand Words.

Changes have come slow for me.  This has caused me to be frustrated because when I'm working hard I want to see results.  Whether it is housework, school work or my own body I want to see that what I am doing is creating a difference.  A cleaner house, good grades or smaller size in body.  This past year I have worked very, very, VERY hard at exercising and eating better in order to be healthier and lose weight.  It has been a slow, slow, SLOW process.  Slower than I like and I have found it very frustrating!  My poor family has had listen to me vent about my frustration about how slow this has been and how nothing is happening.   My husband has been saying for months that I look different, that he can see changes.  But when I look in the mirror I still see a fat stomach, saggy arms and a double chin.  I have tried really hard this year to have my picture taken.  Sounds simple but when you are a heavy person the standard operating procedure is to avoid the camera at all costs.  It's better to be behind the camera taking pictures than in front of it so that I have to see how bad things are.

Joe took my picture when we were at the hotel for the Tinkerbell Half Marathon.  It was a pretty good picture and I like it a lot.   When I was working on my blog about the race I was scrolling through my pictures on my computer and saw a picture from last April at the Eugene Half Marathon.  Hmmmmm, I thought, that seems a bit different than the more recent shot.  I pulled both pictures up and looked at them side by side on my computer screen.  Holy Crap!!  There have been some significant changes in the past year.  They had come so slowly that I didn't realize how significant they were.  I was so focused on the slow pace and the fact that the results on the scale weren't what I wanted that I had failed to acknowledge how far I had come.

I pulled up pictures from April and July of 2013 and January 2014.  Pictures are worth a thousand words.

I still have a roly poly tummy and saggy arms.  But they aren't as big as they were.  I could argue it is better tank tops that hid the flaw but I don't think so.  I can really see the differences between April and January.  I am fitter and have more muscle tone.  I can do more than I could a year ago.  I have made progress, almost in spite of myself.  :-)

I got to thinking about how much 38 pounds really is.  I decided to see what I could gather that would total up to that amount and see how it felt to hold it.  Here's the result:

I am holding a 10 pound sack of flour, a 5 pound bad of potatoes, one 15 pound hand weight and four 2 pound hand weights.  I didn't hold them for long, it got heavy fast.  Crap!  I used to lug that around ON ME!!  You won't hear me saying I have "only" lost 38 pounds anymore!  I have lost 38 freaking pounds!!!!  Yay me.  :-)  I need to start giving myself more credit for what I am doing instead of focusing on what I can't do yet.  But then, I think God has been helping with work on that aspect of my personality pretty much my whole life.  I am a work in progress in more ways than one!

I didn't run last week.  It was the end of the semester which I find stressful.  Add that to homework and I just didn't make it happen.  I did go on my first bike ride since last October on Saturday.  That was very fun.  I rode about 13 miles.  The weather was sunny and about 50 degrees, a few clouds.  There wasn't much wind.  I got to ride with three other awesome women and my hubby.  Joe said he was riding with his harem.  Lucky guy. :-)  I did better than I thought I would and my legs feel fine today.  My back has a couple of sore spots and I have a couple of spots that are tender on my sit-down.  I still don't know how Ironman competitors sit on a bike seat for 112 miles!  I'm not sure how I'm going to do it for 50 miles this summer.  We shall see.

This is a short one for a change.  There's been a lot going on so working out has been difficult.  Monday is back at it.  I have a trail run later this month.  I don't know why I sign up for trail runs when I suck at them so bad but I keep doing it.  I will be trying to get at least one hill run a week in this month and next because I also have the Shamrock Run in Portland coming up and that has a very significant hill in it.  It will be fun to see if I can do better than last year.  I sign up for events because if I don't I won't have the motivation to get my ass off the couch.  I have done a race without training and it wasn't pretty.  I HURT after for days!  I do not care to repeat that experience!  I can see doing a 5k without training but for me, anything longer and I better be putting time in on the pavement.

What are you going to sign up for to be your motivation?  If I see you out there I promise to give you a big smile and a high five!!  :-)

Tinkerbell Half Marathon 2014

What a fun experience!  Our trip to Disneyland for the Tinkerbell Half Marathon was full of laughter and fun from start to finish!  

I was a little apprehensive about the run.  I had been sick the weekend before and had only managed to do 3.5 miles of my 8 mile long run.  Then the rest of the week I still didn't feel good and I was trying to make sub plans and get my own homework done ahead of time so I wouldn't have to worry about it during the trip.  That meant that in the eight days leading up to the Half I had only run once.  Yikes.  Doesn't make me feel very confident heading into a 13.1 mile run.  

I decided that it was just going to be a for fun race and I wouldn't worry about my time and would just have fun and enjoy the experience.  That was a good plan.  

We left our house at 4:00 a.m. on Friday to catch a flight out of Portland.  Our plan was to arrive as early in the morning as we could so that we could go to the Expo to pick up our gear and then have most of the day to play at Disneyland and Disney California.  We spent quite a bit of time at the Expo.  Wow, that was a little overwhelming.  Lot's of booths with all kinds of running related products.  Clothes, shoes, rollers, bling, lights, you name it, it was probably there.  It was fun to walk through and see all the funny shirts and cool gadgets.  

Then we hit the parks.  Disney is always fun.  We know a lot of people that give us a hard time because we love to go on Disney vacations.  Yes, it's spendy.  Yes, they are commercialized since there is Disney merchandise everywhere, especially for whatever movie was just released.  But you know what?  They do things right.  Their customer service is amazing!  The amount of things you can do while you are there that is included in the ticket price can keep you busy all day and into the night.  They make the experience fun and enjoyable, even when it is crowded and even when things don't go exactly the way you expected. 

We got on the monorail at the Disney hotel and got off at Tomorrowland.  We decided that the first ride should be Space Mountain which was then followed up by the Star Tours ride.  

In line for Space Mountain and Star Tours.

Both were fun and gave Josh a good taste of the types of things we could do at Disney.  Later we went over to Disney California and rode the Tower of Terror.  That was so much fun!!!  The anticipation on that ride just kills me because I never know when the drops are going to happen.  It's different every time you ride.  This is a picture of the first time we went.  We are in the back row on the left.  Josh is dead center.  I get the impression from the picture that he was having fun!

We did a few more things at Disney California and decided to end our first day by riding the Grizzly Rapids Ride.  We figured if we got wet it was fine because we were going back to the hotel anyway.  We got wet.  The ladies got drenched and the guys got partially wet.  We laughed so hard during the entire ride.  When we got done and were unbuckling a Cast Member (Disney employee) came over and asked if we wanted to go again since there was no line.  We all looked at each other and then said Yes!  I thought we had laughed a lot the first time around.  My sides hurt from how hard we laughed the second time.  By the time we got done everyone was soaked.  What a fun way to end the day.  

Saturday morning we got up early because we had reservations for a character breakfast called Minnie and Me.  It's a huge buffet breakfast and a bunch of different characters come into the restaurant and they visit each table.  It was so much fun to watch Josh and Wendie get excited about seeing different characters.  

Minnie & Me Breakfast

Tower of Terror was once again the favorite ride of the day.  This time the boys were being silly for the picture.  Imagine that, Joe and Josh being silly!  lol  The picture is a little grainy because it's a phone shot of the display after the ride.  

We stayed at the park until about 3:30 and then headed back to the hotel for some hot tub time and

dinner so we could relax and go to bed early for the race the next day.  We soaked in the hot tub for quite awhile and then finished off the evening with pizza.  We were all in bed before 8:00 p.m. so that we could get up early for the race.

Early?  How early?  Three o'clock in the morning early!  Ugh!  We left the hotel around four a.m. and headed towards the start line.  The start of the race was by the Paradise Pier hotel and was at least a mile from our hotel.  We didn't want to be rushed we left early.  The temperature was about 45 degrees.  I had decided to wear a running skirt and tank top because I figured I would warm up quickly and that would make me the most comfortable during the race.  

Joe had decided to run with me.  At first I was resistant to this idea.  He is so much faster with me and I have really been struggling with my pace and my stomach not feeling well during my runs so I was not confident with how I was going to do.  I didn't want to slow him down or frustrate him if I didn't do well.  He has told me before (not to be mean or anything) that it is hard to run slower because it actually is painful for him and I didn't want to make him be in pain for 13.1 miles.   However, my good friend Betsy pointed out that I am very blessed to have a wonderful man in my life who WANTED to be with me for 13.1 miles.  Well, I can't argue with that logic!  So I quit trying to talk him out of it and decided to enjoy the extra together time.

I was supposed to start in Corral D but got we got in the wrong one by mistake and ended up in Corral E.  This meant we were way back and in with mostly walkers.  Not a big deal usually but that did present some challenges during the run.  The official race time was 5:00 a.m. but they had a staggered start with each corral waiting a bit before they took off.  We didn't start until about 5:30 a.m.  It was quite the party at the start line, lot's of music, Disney characters and fun.  We ran the first half of the half marathon going through the two parks.  The first park was Disney California.  Everything was all lit up and looked amazing.  Cast Members were everywhere cheering us on.  The first characters that we saw were the Incredibles.  We didn't stop and get pictures with any of the characters because the lines were ridiculous!  Worse than during the day with a line of kids waiting. lol  Joe had stopped for a potty break and was going to catch up with me.  I stopped at the Pier to take a selfie with everything lit up behind me.  Joe caught up not too long after that.  We finished in Disney California and then headed over to Disneyland.  We ran down Main Street and Joe took my picture.  I love the castle in the distance and all the tutus running past.  Definitely catches the atmosphere of the race.  We passed several more characters.  I was tempted to stop for Darth Vader and the Storm Troopers but that line was even longer than any we had seen so far!  The longest line we saw all morning was for Jack Sparrow.  He did look very authentic and a great deal like Johnny Depp.  :-)

We stopped to take a selfie at It's a Small World and a very nice woman offered to take our picture.  We had to laugh because then she said we could take her picture to return the favor.  This picture is my favorite of the entire weekend.  I'm at Disneyland AND I'm with my husband!

In Disney California and Disneyland we ran through the parks but we also ran in some of the back areas where things are stored or the employees work behind the scenes.  Cast Members were lined up all over in these areas to cheer us on.  It was pretty fun to high five maintenance guys that are all wearing the Mickey Mouse hands.  They even had Cast Members standing beside a cone and equipment that had hitches to make sure that someone didn't trip.  Did you know they have restaurants in the back areas that are only for employees?  How cool is that?

We couldn't go very fast during the first half of the race.  It was so crowded and there were a lot of people walking.  The path got very narrow in places around the parks and there was no way to get around people so you would have to walk until an opening appeared.  When we left the parks the rest of the course took us out and about in Anaheim and then back around to the Paradise Pier hotel near where we started.  I started having stomach issues around the half way point.  It just got worse as we went so I had to walk several times because I was afraid I was going to throw up.  I had forgotten to bring along some Tums so that was a bummer.  On the plus side, I had peanut butter and jelly on a bagel when we woke up and a banana on the walk to the start.  Then during the race I used a new sugar free fuel that really seemed to work for me.  I felt like I am dialing in the nutrition part of my long runs.  Now I just need the Metformin to quit making my stomach upset when I run!! Thank you very much.  Good thing I had decided before the race that it wasn't going to be fast because it definitely wasn't!  

I thought when we got out of the parks the crowd would thin out some and it would be easier to find my groove but that didn't happen.  It was packed the entire way.  Joe and I were able to keep to the middle of the road and avoid a lot of people but there was SO MANY PEOPLE!

We walked a bit during the last mile and when we got back to where the families were lined up along the route we started running again.  Finishing walking is against the rules in our house (unless you are injured).  

As we got close to the finish line there were so many people cheering us on.  It was amazing.  When we got around the corner and could see the finish line there was music and Disney characters waiting to cheer us over the finish.  Joe and I held hands and finished together.  THAT was the best moment of the race.  We did it together.  I love my husband so much and am so humbled by his support and belief in me.  What an amazing gift to me that he spent three and a half hours running and walking with me even though he probably could have finished in two. 

I use the Nike+ app on my phone and have great success with it over the years.  However lately it has had some issues.  A couple of weeks ago it showed my 11 mile run on my phone but it didn't add the run to any of my totals.  I called and they fixed it but the map and my pace were gone.  One of the things I like about Nike is I can see what my pace was for each mile and check out if I got slower or faster.  I was looking forward to seeing what my pace was during the race during the times where I was able to find a good groove.  That wasn't going to happen.  When I stopped to take a picture of the Incredibles and then started running again I realized that my phone said I had run 98 miles.  I had run about three.  Uh oh!  lol  Nothing to do about it.  I decided not to fuss with it and just kept going.  Since I was with Joe I wasn't listening to music and also wasn't hearing my pace every 1/2 mile so it really didn't matter.  The funny part was when I we got done.  My phone died just before the end of the race.  I took too many pictures.  Next time I will carry my small Cool Pix camera and use that.  When we got back to the hotel and I charged my phone I went into the app to see what it said.  Holy Crap!  I'm secretly a Super Hero!  Able to run 809 miles in a single day and with an average pace of 14 seconds per mile.  lol  I had to put a Felt Awesome smiley on it because that is just ridiculous!  

I called Nike when we were waiting at the airport for our flight.  They were able to put the run in for the proper miles and pace but the map was lost and I couldn't see how I actually did during the race.  That was a bummer.  Oh well.  In the long run it really didn't matter.  :-)  

When we finished the race we went and got our picture taken and grabbed some food.  When we got out of the athletes area Joe asked me where I wanted to go.  I said the parking lot.  The big empty, not full of people, parking lot.  I needed some space before we walked back to the hotel.  I do fine with crowds for the most part but I can begin to feel claustrophobic if I am in them too long or I feel trapped.  This was too long.  It was time to have some space.  Then we began the long, slow walk back to the room.

A shower and a nap after a long run is the most amazing thing ever.  Makes you feel human again.  We took about an hour nap and then headed back to the parks.  It actually felt good to be moving again.  All four of us wore our race shirts and Wendie and I wore the medal as well.  It was really fun to see all the other runners wearing their shirts and medals too.  The Cast Members would tell us congratulations and we would talk to people in line about the race.  It was a lot of fun.   

I had made reservations at the Wine Country Trattoria which was a restaurant in Disney California.  With dinner we got vouchers to have a reserved spot to see the World of Color show later that evening. The food was amazing!  The only hard part for me was that the meal included a tray of samples of several deserts.  Joe ate mine.  Having no sugar at Disney was difficult and I wanted to cheat a lot.  But I didn't so I am thinking that is a pretty major victory.  

We had about an hour and half before the show started so we decided to go on the Tower of Terror.  For our Tower of Terror picture on day three we decided to pretend to be sleeping.  It turned out so funny!  If you look closely you can see that I'm trying not to laugh and/or scream.  I know the drop is coming and the anticipation is just killing me.

The half marathon wore us out!  

The World of Color show was incredible!  I had heard it was a really great show and that it shouldn't be missed but I had no idea it was going to be that impressive.  The water, the color, the lights, the music, the animation was all amazing.  I'm so glad we went!  Having the vouchers was awesome because we walked up about 5 minutes before the show started and walked right up to a spot.  Lots of people had been saving their spots for a couple of hours.  Not how I would like to spend two hours at Disney!

We headed back to the hotel after the show.  We ran a half marathon, took an hour nap and then spent an entire afternoon and evening playing at the parks.  According to my Fitbit we put in a little over 26 miles for the day!  

Monday we got up and packed so we could check out.  It was our last day of our Disney adventure.  We were able to store our luggage at the hotel and they arranged for a taxi to take us to the airport.  We spent a little time in both parks and did some shopping and had lunch in Downtown Disney.  Of course we had to have one more ride on the Tower of Terror.  :-)  

We headed back to the hotel and then made our way to the airport.  Our flight left around 7:00 p.m. and we didn't arrive in Portland until a little after 9:00 p.m.  By the time we got to the car and drove home it was about 11:30 p.m.  I felt bad for Josh and Wendie because they still had about a 20 minute drive from our house to get home.  But not too bad because I was the only one in the group that had to wake up early and go to work.  Luckily my students had mercy on me and the day wasn't too hard to get through even though I was tired.  I wore my shirt and medal and the kids loved my stories about the race and things we did at Disneyland.  I fell asleep in the recliner when I got home for about two hours.  

Would I do another Disney run?  Absolutely!  The experience was fun from start to finish.  I am glad I had decided before the race that I was just going to go slow and enjoy the experience.  I tend to get all amped up if I am not doing as well as I think I should be doing.  By deciding ahead of time that it didn't matter I didn't get all frustrated.  A frustrated Lisa is a not having fun Lisa and that would have been a bummer.  

Why I feel like a WINNER!

• I ate no sugar!  And a big thank you to Joe, Wendie and Josh because other than the desert tray one night they really didn't eat sugar either.  I know that was for me so that I didn't have to watch them.  Things like that make me realize what great people I have in my life.  
• I got through the first 6 miles of the run before I started having an upset stomach. I have had stomach issues when running ever since I started the Metformin.  This is the longest I have run before it started up.  Hopefully this means my body is adjusting and it will continue to improve.  
• I didn't feel like I ran out of energy so I think I'm figuring out what works for me for nutrition during long runs.
• My husband ran with me and that was AWESOME!!
• I got to spend time with fun people in a fun place having a great time!
• I kept my blood sugars pretty solid all weekend.  I had a couple of times where it got low but didn't get high which I was worried about.  

Considering all the changes I have had the last couple of month I think I can call this a successful race in many ways.  Working hard at looking at the positive instead of getting frustrated because things are going the way I want.

Next race is the Buck Mountain Trail Run.  A little over 6 miles with elevation in the Silver Falls Park area.  Guess I'm a glutten for punishment. lol  I keep saying I hate hills and trail runs and I keep signing up for them!  

Sorry for the long post and all the pictures.  There was a lot to share!  :-)

Tour de Cure - American Diabetes Association

I am beginning a new chapter in my life.  One that involves really thinking about what I eat and eliminating things that my body cannot tolerate.  I am glad that I have found out that I am pre-diabetic now.  A month ago I did not feel this way.  A month ago I was mad and felt sorry for myself.  Now I am ready to take control of what I can.

I had a doctor appointment and we had a good conversation about decisions I have made.  We talked  about my diet and sugar and carbs.  We discussed the medication I am on and how it is affecting my running and ways to get around that.  We decided to get me started with a kit and begin to monitor my blood sugar.  This way I have an idea of what is normal for my body right now.  That will help us know later if there is a problem developing.  Everybody has a different spot where low or high sugar affects them so I need to figure out what my body is doing.   It was a very good doctor visit in that I feel like I came in with some ideas of what I could do to have some control and my doctor was totally on board and, of course, had suggestions on how to take some things even further.

This summer my husband and I have committed to riding in the Tour de Cure.  This is a fundraising biking event put on by the American Diabetes Association.  They have events all over the country.  You can ride in support of a person or you can ride as a Red Rider, someone who has diabetes.  We are riding in support of our friend Betsy (and myself even though I don't qualify yet as a Red Rider, we know it's coming.)  Joe and Betsy are going to ride 100 miles and I am shooting for a minimum of 50.   Joe and I have both committed to raising $200 each towards finding a cure for diabetes.

If you are willing to help support click on the link below.  Enter my name, Lisa Van Veldhuizen, as the participant and then you can follow the directions to donate from there.

Tour de Cure Donation Site

I am not one to ask for money usually and this is way out of my comfort zone.  But not only do I have diabetes looming in my future I have family members, friends and several students who are all dealing with it.  I'm really riding for them more than myself.

Riders that have diabetes are called Red Riders so that people participating in the event know who we are riding for.  While I am not a Red Rider yet my friend Betsy got me a Red Rider bike jersey to train in this winter and spring to get ready.  I feel very privileged to wear it.  And Betsy is letting me use her old bike so I have absolutely NO EXCUSES in not getting ready for this event!

I ride with diabetes!

Gotta do this shirt and Betsy proud!!

I had originally planned for one of my goals to be that I would run 1000 miles.  I think I'm going to have to change that goal since I see a significant amount of bike riding in my future.

Today I went on my last long run before the Tinkerbell Half.  I did 11 miles.  It was cold and there was a breeze.  I did pretty good with my pace overall.  It wasn't fast, I won't break any PR's with that pace but I held pretty steady so that was good.  I felt like I was running through mud and everything hurt so that part was crappy.  But I ran the whole thing and that was good.  Next Saturday I only have to do 8.5 which will seem like a piece of cake after the last two long runs.  ;)  Running is all about perspective.  A few years ago 8.5 miles seemed like a ridiculous distance that I would never be able to walk let alone run.  Now it is a short run.  I guess that's another indication of how far I have come.  Another thing that I realized today is that I was frustrated with my speed and felt really, really slow.  My average pace over the 11 miles was 13'50".

Last year at this time my husband and I were at the beach celebrating our anniversary.  I went on a run from the highway to the lighthouse, up a hill and back down to the highway.  I went four miles and my average pace was 16'29".  I did most of it at right at a 15' pace but the trail to the top of the hill killed me (and my average pace).  This year I completed an 11 mile run with an average pace that is 2'39" faster and 7 miles longer.  I'm okay with that.  :-)

Yesterday I ran four miles which is a better comparison (but still no hill so not an exact comparison).  I ran yesterdays run with an average pace of 12'44".  This is a 3'54" improvement on my average pace.  I have worked hard this year to gain those improvements.  I'm looking forward to continuing the trend.

I have a rest day tomorrow and then it is back to work and training after school.  The week after that I start my next term of grad school.  Life keeps moving.  I just keep moving forward with it.  :-)

Hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday season and a very happy New Year!

Lisa

p.s.  If you decided to donate for the Tour de Cure I would love to know so that I can thank you!

Keep Moving Forward

What a year it has been!  I have learned a lot.  Had struggles and setbacks.  Had victories and successes.  Been blessed continuously by long time friends and family.  Been blessed to gain new friends.  Overall it has been a very good year.

When I started this blog on New Year's Eve it was for me.  I thought that by writing out my frustrations and successes it might help me through the process of becoming a healthier me.  I also figured if anyone actually read it then I would be kept accountable because someone would be looking to see what I was up to most.  I also wanted to be an encouragement for people like me who are working on getting healthy.  Sometimes it is just nice to know there is someone else out there who is going through what you are going through.  Somehow it makes it feel less like you are going through things alone.

In 2013 I ran in one 3K, one 10K, one 15K, four Half Marathons, one Relay race, three 5Ks, one 3.75 Turkey Trot and one Sprint Triathlon.  I participated in an organized event every month except for March, June and September.

January

• Hangover Run-3K-28:30, Average pace: 15'19"
• Cascade 10K-1:27:41, Average pace: 14'07"

February

• Shamrock Run 15K-2:11:06, Average pace 14'07"

April

• Corvallis Half Marathon-2:54:43, Average pace 13'21"
• Eugene Half Marathon-2:51:22, Average pace 13'05"

May

• No Limits Fun Run 5K-33:56, Average pace 10'54"

July

• Take Me Out to the Ballpark 5K-41:43, Average pace 13'25"

August

• Cascade Lakes Relay
• Leg 1-7.5 miles, average pace 12'46"
• Leg 2-5.3 miles, average pace 15'00"
• Leg 3-2.09 miles, average pace 13'32"

October

• Last Chance Sprint Triathlon
• Swim (750 yards) 27:42
• Transition 1 6:07
• Bike (12.5 miles) 57:24
• Transition 2 3:26
• Run (5K) 38:28
• Total Time: 2:13:05
• Runaway Pumpkin Half Marathon 2:47:31, average pace 12'47"

November

• Silver Falls Half Marathon 3:28:42 Average pace 15'55"
• Turkey Trot-3.75 miles 44:02 Average pace 11'54"

December

• Ugliest Christmas Sweater Run/Walk 5K Not a timed event.  :-)  

Wow!  I am looking at that list and I have to say that I'm proud of all I have accomplished this past year.  Not every run was good.  Many training runs were bad and many races were just plain awful.  But I did them.

I was looking through my information on my Nike+ app and decided to look at where I started and see if there was any difference between the beginning year of running and this year.  In 2010 I started running in June (barely running, more like wheezing, pain, life-threatening attempts to round the track). In July of that year I got the Nike+ sensor for my shoes and began tracking the numbers.

Year One-The Beginning 2010

 Year Two-2011

Year Three-2012

Year Four-The Current Year

I was a very happy camper today when I got home from my hike and knew that I had reached my goal for getting 700 miles in one year.  So much fun to do it with a hike with a good friend.  Since I'm usually a solitary runner because of my speed (or lack thereof) I enjoying hiking with friends and getting the social part in.  :-)  That has been something I have enjoyed a great deal this past year as well.

I met a lot of my goals for the year.  I didn't come close to others.  Made progress towards figuring out the tired problem, although not quite in the way I wanted.  I lost 38 pounds in one year.  That is a little over a half a pound a week.  Not the results I was hoping to get considering the amount of miles I put in.  I want the outside to reflect the inside and all the effort I'm putting in.  Everyone from my husband and my doctor to my friends and co-workers assure me that I'm heading in the right direction.  That's fine but I would like to be heading there a little bit faster.  I still feel like I'm on the stupid treadmill and going nowhere fast!  Ugh!  I thought when I started getting active three and a half years ago that I would get into shape and lose weight and get all sorts of energy.  Life was going to be awesome if I could just get past the first few months.  I am no where close to where I thought I would be by now.  Sometimes it's very hard to look in the mirror and still see the fat girl.  And I know that makes my friends and family mad at me but that's what I still see.  Yes, I have changed this past year, yes, I have made progress.  I realize that.  But I'm still obese.  I'm still fat.  I am still a very long way from where I want to be.  There are times when I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to look in mirror and see the healthy person I want to be.  Seems very elusive at times.  At this point I have to keep making goals and moving forward because going back to where I was is not an option.

Goals for 2014:

1. Run the Hangover Run with an average pace of under 12 minute miles.  
2. Run 1000 miles during the year.  
3. Do an Olympic Triathlon.
4. Ride at least 50 miles in the Tour de Cure.
5. Do a 5K in 30 minutes.
6. Do a half marathon with an average pace of under 12 minute miles.  
7. Lose 50 pounds.
8. Learn how to eat to accommodate my pre-diabetes and gluten intolerance.

Some of those goals are going to be very doable.  Some of those goals are reaching.  But I figure I have to try, that's what goals are for.

This is my favorite scene from the movie "Meet the Robinsons"  I watched it with my 6th graders last week and it was a good reminder of what I need to do.  Quit focusing on what I see as failures and realize that I learn from the unsuccessful times to get better for the successful times.



2013 was about committing, really committing to becoming a healthier me.  No more wishy washy, half-assed efforts.

2014 is about moving forward.  Even though things haven't gone like I envisioned and I haven't met many of the goals I thought I would by now I am going to keep moving forward.  Now I get to take the foundation I have made this past year and do even better.  I can't wait to see where I'm at at the end of the year.

Before I finish off the year I want to say thank you to a few people that have helped me this past year.

• Thank you to all my family who have encouraged me this past year.  Brothers and sisters, sisters-in-law (Teresa, you rock!) and all of my parents.  And many other cousins, aunts and uncles and distant relations that have liked posts and said good job along the way.  Every single time it has made me smile.  
• Thank you to my friends and co-workers.  Aren't I lucky to have co-workers that are friends?  Both from old jobs and current jobs I have a lot of people that I am surrounded by at work who have been super encouraging and supportive as I try to balance out my life and my health.  
• Thank you to all the people who have patiently read my silly little blog and have been interested in what I am up to.   Seems weird to me that people actually read what I'm up to and are interested.  :-)   
• Thank you to my kids.  My two older kids just think that it is a given that I will do what I set out to do.  That is an amazing gift to have that unwavering belief directed at me.  You two rock!  Miss Meighan gets a big Thank you as the youngest of the kids because she is the one living with the day to day craziness that is her mother.  And she goes out and does hikes and triathlons with me.  I'm looking forward to many years of events to share with you!  
• Thank you to the Dwayne and Faylene.  Faylene is my bestie and was the first one to say "You got this" when I started on the running journey three and a half years ago. Never once have you and Dwayne been anything less than super supportive!  Joe and I treasure your friendship!  
• Thank you to the new friends in my life Josh, Wendie and Betsy.  Wow!  What an amazing addition to my life, right when I needed it.  You are all amazing and you are now stuck with me!  Thanks for all the advice and support this past year.  Betsy, especially this past month as I wrap my head around a new lifestyle.  You guys rock!
• My biggest thank you is to my amazing husband Joe.  Wow!  Can't do any of this without you.  Thank you honey for being my biggest cheerleader.  Knowing that you believe in me has made all the difference.  Can't quit when I know you are there to help me through!  You never make me feel inadequate or that my accomplishments are less than yours.  That is an amazing gift from anyone, it's extra special when it's from my partner in life!  I love you!!!