Rolf Prima Tri at the Grove 2016

It was a pretty amazing day on many levels.

Friday we headed down to Cottage Grove.  We had decided to spend the night down there so that we didn't have to get up at Oh'dark thirty in the morning.  Joe needed to do a long swim so we went to Cottage Grove Lake where the triathlon was going to be so he could do it as an open water swim.  I had done my two little "keep things loose" workouts before we left home.  So I set up a chair in the shade with a view of the lake and read a book, or sometimes I just closed my eyes and sometimes I watched people.  It was very peaceful and quiet and I enjoyed the alone time where I didn't feel like I had 10,000 things I should be doing instead.

Then we headed to packet pickup back in Eugene.  Things always get a bit more real when you have your race bib and shirt.  :-)

After packet pickup we went and got some dinner and then headed back to Cottage Grove to our hotel.  Lots of cars with bike racks in the hotel parking lot.  Gee, I wonder what they would be doing in the morning?

I asked Joe to take a picture of me with my race shirt like I have done for every triathlon this year.  He was trying to get me to make a serious face knowing that it would just make me laugh more.  Goober.

We got the stickers on my bike and helmet and I did some last minute checks of my stuff for the race and then we went to bed.

I went to sleep fairly easily, which was a nice surprise.  However, I got up at 4:00 a.m. to use the restroom and could not get back to sleep.  lol  So I was still awake at Oh'dark thirty.  But at least I didn't have to rush about earlier and be in the car by this time.  Around 5:00 a.m. I got up and had breakfast and started getting ready.  Then we loaded up the car and went to Walmart to get some snacks for Joe and the kids.  That is something I usually take care of because I'm usually the spectator.  I was so focused on what I needed for the race I didn't even think of it.  Joe doesn't usually take care of it so he didn't think of it either. So we got some water bottles and snacks, grabbed some breakfast and coffee for Joe and then headed for the lake.

We got there around 6:30 a.m. which was nice because then I could do all the things I was supposed to do to get ready without feeling rushed.  Got my number markings and found my spot on the bike rack.  Lucky number 42!  Then I put on my bike helmet and went for a short ride.  I was supposed to ride for about 10 minutes and loosen up the legs and make sure the gears were where I needed them to be for the start of the bike ride.  Racked the bike again and then took a little jog down the road as well.  Got all my things organized and laid out like I wanted and then grabbed my pre-race snack and headed over to hang out with Joe.

View of Cottage Grove Lake and transition.

Cottage Grove Lake before the swim.

Got a big hug from my friend Melissa, her husband Marcus was doing the Olympic triathlon as well.  He's an experienced triathlete, done an Ironman even, so he's an old hat at these events.  He never looks nervous. lol

Next Faylene and Dwayne showed up with my kids Taylor and Meighan.  More hugs!  Then Josh and Wendie arrived.  Goodness was I feeling so loved!  Then surprise!  My friends Chad and Beth came as well.  All of these people taking the time to drive all the way down to Cottage Grove to spend a large chunk of the day cheering me on!  It was seriously overwhelming.  My daughter Bri got there so  I got another hug.  :-)  There is a serious amount of sitting around and waiting for a few moments of cheering for spectators.  So to have all these people taking a big chunk of their day to support me was amazing!  Meighan took pictures with my big camera and got some fun shots.  `

Chad & Beth!  Not only do I get to work with these people but I get to call them my friends!  Blessed!

Faylene asked me how I was doing.  I told her I was excited to start and nervous but not completely scared like I had been at the start of the Beaver Freezer.  Since she was there for that race too she knew what I was talking about.  It was fun to not be completely terrified.  That alone was a BIG win for me no matter how the day went.

There was a big delay to the start of the races because of issues with parking.  The person who was directing traffic and telling people where to park wasn't doing too good a job and cars were everywhere and not getting anywhere.  They delayed the start to give athletes a chance to get parked and ready.  I was supposed to start at 8:28 a.m.  I think it was more like 8:45 a.m.  I got my wet suit on around 8:00 a.m. and started to make my way down to the lake to get in the water and warm up a bit.  On the way to the lake I saw my nephew Justin and his fiancee Kendra.  Kendra's dad and brother were doing the Sprint race and it was their first.  More hugs and good lucks!  It was a great treat to see them and know they were cheering me on too.

The water is warm, 71 degrees!  Much nicer to swim in than the 51 degrees from my first open water swim last March.  The men took off first and then about three minutes later it was time for the women.  Here we go!

I struggled a bit at the start of the swim.  Couldn't find my calm, imagine that, and then I also went a little wide.  I didn't stop though.  I just told myself it was just a swim, like all the other ones I've done in training and to calm down.  By the time I got to the first buoy I was feeling much better and really enjoying the swim.  I may not have been the fastest person out there but I know I was more consistent and had a better stroke than a lot of them.  I saw a lot of people having to stop and do a back stroke or just stop and rest.  I even passed some men towards the end.  That was kind of cool.  I also did not have to stop once!  That's huge!  I cannot think of one swim, open water or pool where I didn't have to stop at least once to adjust my goggles or cap or just catch my breath.  I came out of the water a pretty happy camper.  I knew I was at the back of the pack and I knew that it was very likely that I would be last by the end of the day and I couldn't have cared less.  I had a rock'n swim for me.  It felt really great and was really fun.  That's what it's really all about, right?

Transition time.  It went much better than the swim to bike transition I did at Blue Lake.  I need to practise in just getting faster and I should have had my shoes untied so they were ready but overall I was pretty happy about it.

Got to the spot to get on my bike and could hear my friends and family cheering me on.  I had been so worried about feeling stupid and slow in front of everyone.  Instead I just soaked up the love and support.  Made me smile!  I got started around the corner and I hear my name.  I look over and see my brother Matt, his wife Teresa and my niece and nephew, Jenna and Henry waving and cheering for me.  They live in Redmond and had driven all the way to Cottage Grove to cheer me on.  I couldn't believe it!  It was all I could do to keep from stopping my bike and getting hugs right then and there!  What an awesome way to start off my ride.  My smile got even bigger!  BEST surprise of the day!

Because I was the last wave to start the race, and because I was at the tail end of everyone swimming I pretty much was alone for my bike ride.  The route was an out and back but it went on paved logging roads that were on opposed sides of the main road.  So I didn't even see people that were heading back to the lake.  I was passed in the first couple of miles by the guys that I had passed on the swim.  They kicked my butt overall but it's still kind of cool that I beat them in the swim.  :-)  Had a lady pass me at about mile five and another at about mile eight.  I passed one gentleman who had a flat and his air canister didn't have any air in it.  Luckily the owner of the house he stopped at was helping him out.  I felt bad for him though.  Talk about frustrating!

About mile 10 I was needing to use the bathroom.  I thought I had read that there was supposed to be an outhouse at the turnaround but I couldn't remember.  Normally I can just ignore it but I spent the next two miles rather obsessing about it, I really needed to go!  When I got to the turnaround there was no outhouse.  I decided that the next driveway with some trees I was going to have to stop but then I saw the outhouse.  Thank goodness!

I got in and the damn thing was seriously wobbly. lol I cannot believe how much pee I had in me.  I know, I know, too much information.  But it was rather ridiculous!  Then because it's hard to pull up wet clothing I was making the stupid outhouse shake and wobble.  The whole situation was rather hilarious and wasn't helping my time much!

Got back on my bike and started back to the lake.  Then I start thinking how I'm more than halfway through the bike.  I've done the swim and I'm halfway through the bike!  And I have all these amazing people hanging out just to cheer me on.  Guess what happened then?  If you know me at all or have been reading this blog for awhile you can probably guess.  I started crying.  Good crying.  Good thing I can cry and ride at the same time.

The bike went well.  I did it about as fast as I had when Joe and I did the ride a few weeks ago.  I was hoping for a little faster but there were so many good things about the ride that I really didn't care.  I didn't bonk on this ride.  I drank both of my bottles of Gatorade and got my sports beans eaten like I was supposed to.  I switched the water bottles around so the one I was drinking out of was in the front spot...without stopping!  That was a pretty big deal for me.  :-)  If I hadn't had to stop and pee I would have been able to say I didn't have to stop on the bike ride.  Darn bladder anyway.  :-)

Towards the end of the bike ride the sun started breaking through the clouds.  I was hoping it would stay cloudy until I was done because that would make for a cooler run.  Oh well.

I was coming around the reservoir and I see my sister-in-law waving and cheering for me.  I was a couple miles from the end of the ride.  She was in the perfect spot to see me and beeline it to the transition area and beat me there.

Teresa's view of the road.  I came in from the left and headed up the hill to the right.

I came into transition and you would have thought I was in first place the way everyone was cheering for me.  I dismounted and started to trot down the hill to the transition area.  It was a fairly steep hill, at least it feels that way when you just get off your bike so I ended up walking down it so that I didn't fall down.  Got to my spot and the person on the other side of the rack had put their bike where mine was supposed to go.  I had to slide it over to make room for mine.  There were stickers with our numbers on the rack where I bike was supposed to go so that was a little irritating that I had to waste time with that.

Changed out of my bike shorts and into my running skirt, grabbed my water bottle and took off.  My amazing support crew was right there cheering me on, even made a hand bridge for me to go under on my way out.  Joe had a neck cooler ready for me and then asked if I was planning on running with my bike gloves on.  Oops.  Forgot to take them off. lol

At this point I know I am going to finish my first Olympic Triathlon.  I have done 10k runs before.  I knew I could walk it if I had to and finish.  That's a pretty good feeling.

I started off pretty good.  It was hard but I was doing a decent pace for me on a good day without a swim and a bike ride before.  :-)  I wasn't able to maintain that pace but I was able to do better than I thought I would considering the temperature had warmed up and I was a wee bit tired.   I was trying to run 10 minutes with a one minutes walk.  I think the walks ended up being more like two minutes a few times.  And if there was a water station during the 10 minute run part I got a bonus walk.  lol  The run was an out and back along the lake.  Now I was seeing people who were heading back towards the finish.  Got a tip of his hat from Marcus who was probably at about mile five and almost to the finish which was fun.  I thought for sure he would be long done before I even started the run.  There were a lot more people then I thought there would be.  Made me feel like I wasn't as far behind everyone as I had thought when I was on the bike.

When I got to the turnaround I got really excited.  I had only a 5k to go and I was done.  I can do a 5k!!  That gave me a boost.  Even though I was going a slower pace than I had the first mile I was keeping it steady where I was and not slowing down even more.  That was a win as well for me.  Sometimes when I start slowing down I get frustrated and just say, "Fuck it!" and give up and walk.  I did not do that.  I was not going to doing anything less than my 100% at the end of this race!  My stomach started to feel a little upset.  Probably from all the sports beans I had eaten all day.  Will have to work on switching that up during the run maybe.

Just before the six mile marker I could see the finish line.  I had decided that once I saw the finish line there would be no more walking.  lol  That was the longest quarter of a mile ever!  I saw Marcus watching for me and a "Good job!" from him.  :-)

My faithful crew waiting at the finish line.

As I got closer to the finish line I could see my friends and family.  Then I could hear them.  You would think I was winning the whole thing!  Then, right before the finish line I see Joe.

I didn't care about my time.  That really what this race was all about.

I swerved over to where he was standing and gave him the biggest hug.  And cried.  Oh my goodness I love that man!  He always believes in me even when I don't believe in myself.  He has supported me, encouraged me and occasionally given me a swift kick in the ass when I needed it.   When I say I couldn't have done this without him that is not exaggerating.  He is my partner and best friend and I think we make a pretty fantastic team.  I love being at his races and cheering him on.  It was the most overwhelming thing to have him there doing it for me.

Here's a video Teresa took at the finish:

By far, it was my favorite moment of the entire day.

My brother yelling that I'm ruining my time cracks me up.  Just so you know, he is totally teasing.  :-)

After the race I gave big sweaty hugs to everyone.  Finally got a chance to love on my brother and his family!  Still can't believe they drove all that way!  Lots of pictures and loves.  Our own little party at the finish line.  Since I was near the very last to finish we weren't in any one's way!

My #1 Fan.  My #1 Everything!

Big Bri hug. Love my girl!

Big hug from #1 Son!  Love my boy!

I used to think there was nothing better than being proud of my kids.  Having your kids be proud of you is pretty stinking amazing as well.  Having the kind of relationship with Bri where she could coach and teach me to swim is a precious gift!  If you need help with swimming give her a call.  You won't get the mom rate for lessons but whatever she charges you will be worth every penny!!  Seriously, I'm not just saying that because she's my daughter.  :-)

My brother Matt, fellow Badass with Sparkle sister-in-law Teresa, Jenna & Henry.  AWESOME SURPRISE!! 

Gave out some Yeti & sweaty hugs.  Nobody seemed to mind. :-)

Best picture of the day!!  I am a very blessed woman to have these amazing people in my life!

We said our goodbyes to everyone and started making our way to transition to get my things.  Most of the bikes and gear were gone.  Just a couple of racks still standing for us slowbies.  I packed up my backpack and got things somewhat organized.  Taylor and Meighan had headed to the car with the camp chairs and Taylor moved the car closer so I wouldn't have to walk as far.  :-)

We got to the car and Meighan held up a towel so I could change my clothes.  I really didn't want to wear my workout clothes all the way home.  It was nice to put on clean dry clothes!  Then Joe handed me my cider.  Aaahhhhh.  Dry clothes, a cider and Pringle potato chips.  I'm pretty sure I earned it.

Several times on the drive home the tears would start again.  Just that, "Holy crap, I just did that!" feeling would get so large it would spill out.  :-)

I was trying to send a picture to my coach.  I could not get it or a text to send for almost the whole drive home!  It was so frustrating!!  Joe said they kept him updated all morning long so he knew how I was doing.  But I wanted to tell him and to send a picture from me.  It finally went through.  Yay.  Next to my hubby and family, having Jon proud of me was the best.  :-)  If he had been at the finish line with Joe he would have gotten a big teary hug as well.  I know a big part of why I wasn't scared shitless at the start of the race was because Jon had been there getting me ready so that I knew I could do it.  

Thanks Coach!

Jon told me last week that I should be proud of myself no matter what happened on race day because I worked hard all these months.  That was something to be really proud of.  Here is what I have done since January 1st:

• 267.3 miles of Running
• 61.6 miles of Walking
• 812.8 miles of Biking
• 73.6 miles of Hiking
• 50.3 miles of Swimming

Grand total: 1,265.6 miles of activities.  In just under seven months!!  I never imagined this when I started in January.

It was a fabulous day and one that I'm going to remember for a long time.  Two top days for "I can't believe I just did that!" are first Half Marathon and now first Olympic Triathlon.

Official results :-)  

Solid swim, faster than I ever could have imagined a year ago when I started lessons with Bri.  Fun bike ride on a beautiful course.  Solid run at a pace that was faster than a 10k I did a couple of years ago (and that 10k wasn't preceded by a swim and a bike ride!)

I'm going to work at getting stronger and faster but I am going to always be very proud of myself for this race and all the hard work it took me to get here.

Teresa sent this text to me when I thanked her and Matt for coming:

So fun to have people thing I look STRONG & HAPPY!!  That's exactly how I felt!

Thank you to all the people who sent me text and messages before the race!  Every single one made me smile!  Thank you to all the people who liked and commented on my picture on Facebook after the race.  I know I have used this word a lot in this post but it has been very overwhelming.  I don't see myself as inspirational or amazing.  But if I inspire someone else to do something out of their comfort zone that has the bonus of getting healthier then I will take it!

My son posted this on Facebook with some pictures:

See, kids being proud of mom.  Feels freaking awesome! Glad I'm his favorite.  :-)

I know it was a long post.  There was a lot to share.  :-)

I already can't wait for the next adventure.



Photo credit to Meighan Van Veldhuizen, Teresa Ballantyne, Taylor Van Veldhuizen, Joe Van Veldhuizen and Faylene Gardner.

Tomorrow is the Day

Tomorrow is the day.

I've been working towards The Tri at the Grove for a year.

One year ago I started taking swim lessons from my daughter Bri.  I had the idea that I wanted to do an Olympic Tri and I knew that would not be a good experience if I didn't get better at swimming.  Much much better.  My amazing grown up daughter agreed to give me lessons.  A year of her helping me and teaching me.  She pushed me to do more than I thought I could.  Made me do things I was pretty sure I would never figure out (snorting water and not stopping because of it tops that list!)  I cried more than once in frustration and she would give me a big Bri hug and send me on my way again.  She never let me quit and she never stopped believing that I absolutely could get it figured out.

A year ago I did 1100 yards in 45 minutes which was the farthest I had ever gone.  Yesterday I did 1000 yards in 25 minutes and it was an "easy" swim.

I have a most excellent swim coach.  The blessing in having her coach me is getting to spend a lot of extra time with my beautiful daughter.  There has been a lot of laughter this past year.  Love my sweet girl and glad that we have the kind of relationship where we could make this work.

Six months ago I somewhat reluctantly agreed to have a meeting with Jon to discuss the possibility of working together as coach and athlete.  I say reluctantly only because I didn't consider myself an athlete so the whole thing seemed ridiculous.  Joe should have a coach, he's the athlete, and I will just do what I always do.  Figure it out on my own.  But Joe can be super stubborn and wanted me to work with Jon to get ready for this Olympic triathlon and see how it went.

It was a bit overwhelming at first and there were a lot of things that I was doing that were way out of my comfort zone.  But Jon was so great and I started finding my rhythm with the workouts and I also started finding my confidence.  Weekly workouts planned for me.  Emails and texts checking in on me and how things were going.  Adjustments to workouts because life happens, plans change, people get sick.  Always encouragement and support.  Suggestions on things to work on.  Praise on the things I was doing right.

We had to make an adjustment to the height of my bike seat this week and then leave it in the shop so they could replace a brake pad.  Since we couldn't ride like we have been doing every week since school let out we went for a walk instead.  Jon can't be at the race on Saturday because of family plans that he had before he ever became my coach so we went over the game plan for nutrition, what I'm supposed to do to warm up before the race and all the last minute instructions.  :-)  Jon has phone numbers for numerous people that will be at the race so that he can get updates as the morning goes along.  Then it was time for a big coach hug.  I got teary, can you believe that?  :-)   Working with Jon all these months I not only got a great coach that I work really well with, I gained another friend.

The bonus of working with Jon was also getting to know his wife Janelle who has done a lot of runs with me the last few months.  We have lots of laughs and good talks getting to know each other while running and walking.  Yay!  Another friend.

Bonus bonus is working out on Wednesdays with the other athletes that Jon works with.  The Booth Bunch.  What a great group of people.  It's been fun to get to know them better and cheer each other on at different events.  We all are different speeds and abilities.  I love it when we do track work and we are all over the track with Jon running with someone for a bit and then switching to someone else.    We are all working out together but no worries about the different speeds.  :-)  Yep, even more friends.

The older I get the more I know this is VERY true!

Jon gave me homework last week.  I was supposed to write down four or five things that I am already proud of myself for doing while getting ready for this race.  Then I'm supposed to tuck that paper into my backpack so I have it with me on race day.  That way, if things all go terribly wrong I can remember that it's not really all about the one day.  The one day is more a reflection of all the work I have put in leading up to it.  Sometimes things just go wrong, not that I'm thinking it will but it might.    Doesn't mean I can't be proud of myself.

#6-I'm proud of trying something WAY out of my comfort zone!

One of the things that I was getting bent about was worrying about coming in last.  There is a very good possibility that it will happen.  This week I saw a video about a woman named Jamie Watts that put that worry into perspective.  Check out the video and story here: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/humankind/2016/07/15/runner-finishes-last-every-single-race-inspires-us-all/87122144/

I will never obsess about finishing last again.  (Okay, probably shouldn't say never but I definitely will do a better job of keeping it in perspective!)  I'm going to be thankful that I can participate at all!

Still nervous but I think I'm more excited than anything.  I'm ready to go for it and see how all this work looks on race day.

My clothes and gear are all laid out and organized.

I did my last swim yesterday.

I did my last bike ride (15 minutes, 2.79 miles) and my last run (10 minutes, .87 miles) this morning.

We go pick up the race packet tonight.

Tomorrow is the day!

Shit just got real! lol

Friends

Last winter I shared about each of my children and my fabulous husband and all that they have done to help me on my journey to be a healthier me.

I have been blessed with some pretty amazing friends through this journey.  Some have been my friends from the beginning, some became my friends along the way and others have touched my life briefly but left a large print on my heart.

Dwayne and Faylene.  These two have been our friends since we moved to Albany.  Leaving the community that we loved and were firmly entrenched in was difficult. I am so grateful that we met these two wonderful people right away.  We "blame" our boys for our friendship as Taylor and Cody became friends in 7th grade.  There have been a lot of adventures with the entire Gardner family over the years.  I love the entire family and love that I get to be the "other mother" to the boys.

January 20, 2013 - Cascade 10k for me, 1/2 Marathon for Faylene.  It poured rain!

Faylene has been right there with me from the time I first laced up my running shoes. When I first got started she would go with me and push me to do more than I thought I could.  We would go from street corner to street corner or to the next mailbox or she would run ahead and then come back and meet up with me.  Always with a smile and a "You are doing great!" comment. I don't know if she has any idea how much that helped me keep moving when I first started out.

August 3, 2013 - Cascade Lakes Relay

January 1, 2014 - Hangover Run.  Getting ready for the Beer Mile

Dwayne is the captain of our team for Cascade Lakes Relay.  (Go Super Team Dwayne!!)  He never once has made me feel like I shouldn't be part of the team.  I tried to wiggle my way out of it the first year because I was (am) so slow compared to everyone else.  He said something along the lines that it was about being a team and having fun, not how fast we finished and I need to shut up about it.  So I shut up about it.  lol  I have done the race four times.  I am always the very slowest on the team but every year I get a little teeny bit faster.  Because Dwayne has seen the effort and progress over the years he is great about noticing and reminding me how far I've come.  Helps me keep it in perspective.

November 27, 2014 - Thanksgiving Day Run

November 27, 2015 - Dwayne and I did the walk with Bailey

January 1, 2015 - First Beer Mile for these two.

January 1, 2015 - So many friends & family in this picture!  I love them all!!

January 11, 2015 - Hiking with Dwayne & Faylene and the pups. 

April 12, 2015 - First run after finishing my Master's degree.  

May 17, 2015 - Yearly tradition.  Faylene & I go to Bauman Farms for our BIG flower baskets.

May 27, 2015 - Top of Black Butte.  Not a long hike but a tough one.  

May 27, 2015 - Detroit Lake girls weekend with my bestie.

Bowling-Halloween 2015

Day after Christmas hike with Dwayne, Zack, Faylene, Joe and the pups.  :-)

The Gardner & Van V clans at the 2016 Hangover Run (only missing Zack)

Cheering on my BFF at her awesome Crossfit Bikini competition-May 14, 2016

Oh ya!  Annual Flower run 2016

Day at the Lake-May 29, 2016

Blue Lake Sprint Triathlon 2016 with my awesome sherpa!

When Joe couldn't come with me to the Blue Lake Triathlon I told Faylene and she didn't miss a beat.  "I will come with you!  I'll drive and everything!"  Then it got closer to race day and I find out that Dwayne was coming along too.  When I thanked him for coming with me and driving he smiled and said, "Well, of course!"  Seriously!  They didn't think twice about coming along and it meant so much to have them along, helping me out and cheering me on.  

I have learned on this journey that a great support team helps tremendously.  I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and kids that have always been supportive.  I am ridiculously blessed by so many friends that encourage and support me.  Faylene and Dwayne are at the very tip top of that list.  Every crazy thing I have decided to try they have been right there, cheering me on and believing in me.  

When I first signed up for the Tri at the Grove Faylene looked at her calendar to make sure she could go.  She was supposed to work.  Darn it!  A few weeks later she told me that she had gotten things arranged so that she could be there because she wasn't missing it.  I know that was not easy for her to make happen.  I'm pretty sure it took some major finagling to make it work.  She made it seem like it wasn't a big deal, but I know better.  Coming to cheer someone on at a triathlon is really a lot of sitting around waiting to see your person for a few moments during the transitions.  Faylene has already been to two of my triathlons this spring and will be giving up another Saturday to cheer me on for the "big" one.   

I wrote most of this blog last night.  I had a lot of fun looking at pictures and loving all the adventures I have with these amazing friends.  This morning I get this text.

See?  I love this woman!!

Thank you Dwayne & Faylene for

• Believing in me even when I don't believe in myself.
• Holding up a mirror and reminding me of how far I have come.
• Laughter...Lots and lots of laughter!
• Putting up with the tears and frustrations.  
• Understanding that sad times happen and loving me through it instead of walking away.
• Never ever making me feel like I have to be perfect. I just have to be me.  
• Including me on adventures that many people would have not thought I could do.
• Being amazing friends.

I love you both!!

Trust the Training

So it's been a rough week for my Olympic training.

"Oh no!  What happened?"  you might ask.  "Did you get hurt?"

Nope.

I got inside my own head.

That is never a good thing.

Last week I was totally feeling like I've got this Olympic Triathlon in the bag.

This week I was pretty sure I was beyond stupid for even thinking I could try it.

My own worst enemy is myself.

It was really just Tuesday.  I don't know why it was a bad day, nothing went terribly wrong.  In fact several things went very right.  But my perspective in my head didn't allow me to see that for awhile.

I had a swim in the morning with a specific set of things I was supposed to do.  It's one I have been doing on Tuesdays for a few weeks now.

w/u 200 yards
4x100 descending @ 2:35, 2:32, 2:30, 2:28
2x250 @ 2:30 100
6x50 "fast"
c/d 200 yards

Last week I felt like I totally kicked this workout's ass.  This week it was a lot of work.  The exact same workout but for some reason, in my head, I really struggled.

The reality is that overall I did it better than last week.   It just didn't feel that way for some reason.

After the swim I had some time at home to eat and rest before I met up with my coach for a bike ride.

It's been a lot of fun riding with Jon since school got out.  We talk about my training and we figure out things that aren't working and how to fix them.  We laugh and in general have a good time.  At least from my side, hopefully he has a good time too.  :-)

Tuesday we headed out on a new adventure to tackle some different hills.  It was a windy day but the sun was shining so it was all good.  We headed out to Lewisburg Rd.  Jon wanted me to really attack the hills and give them all I had.  Not a problem except that all I had was a wheezing pathetic mess.  At least from my point of view at the time.  Actually, I only really struggled that badly on one small, short, steep section.  I was working so dam hard and hardly moving and my breath was just struggling and I felt like my lungs were gasping for any oxygen that it could get.  By the time I got to the top I was pretty sure that my legs hated me as well.  I wanted to stop so bad.  I just wanted to get off the damn bike and walk up the hill.

But Jon was right there.  Encouraging me all the way up that stupid hill.  Telling me I was doing awesome.  lol  If I could talk I would have said, "I don't think so!" But all my effort had to stay focused on moving up the hill so I couldn't even harass him back.  :-)

I was so frustrated.  All I could see was how hard it was to breath and how slow I was going.  Even when Jon was telling me what a great job I had done I still couldn't see that.

We got to the top and took a moment for me to catch my breath, drink some gatorade and use my inhaler before we got started again.  I still had some more hills to get through but I was pretty sure I had done the steepest one so that made me feel a little better.

When we made our way back to the car I told Jon that I had been frustrated on the ride and didn't think it went well.  He was quick to disagree with me and reminded me that I worked hard and he pushed me hard on purpose.

I think I sucked and my coach thinks I rocked.  Think I need to fix something.

But I had gotten inside my own head.

I'm much better than I used to be about it but every once in awhile I go there.  Even though I know I shouldn't.

Then I made it worse by comparing.  Yep, that's the worst.  Take a frustration and then add to it by comparing myself to others and trying to prove that the negative thoughts are right because I can't measure up to others around me.  Then to add fuel to the fire I went on the Tri at the Grove website and looked at the results from last year.  I am pretty sure I'm going to be last.  Or very close to last.  After all the work that I've put in that added to my frustration.

So I admit it.  I wallowed for a bit.  Okay, not for long, only one day.  But still, I did wallow.  Then my husband kicked my in the ass, figuratively of course.  :-)

We were talking about my day and I was crying and I could tell he was a bit annoyed with me.  The way that only a husband of 26 years can be.

Because another layer of my worries about my triathlon that is coming up is not disappointing people.  It's a weird thing and totally my own thing.  Seems stupid when I write it down.  But it goes like this...I have a lot of people that have helped me on this journey.  They have supported me on the daily grind (husband), encouraged me and given me guidance to help me be a stronger athlete (coach, actually two coaches since Bri is my swim coach), and cheered me on and given me hugs and love when I needed (friends & family).

I don't want to let them down.

So I walk this fine line as far as the mental part of being an athlete.  Part of me is super competitive and gets really frustrated when I can't keep up and do what it seems like everyone around me is doing with ease.  The other part of me is uncomfortable with the attention and worries that I am going to let down the people that are rooting for me.

This is pretty normal for me and I do a much better job working through it then I used to.  Tuesday was not a day where I was able to tell myself I was being stupid.

So I had a couple of good crying jags.  But when I got up on Wednesday it was time to be over it.  I have a lot to do between now and July 23rd and I am not going to mess up all the work I have done for the last six months.

Last night we had a group run at OSU with my coach and his other athletes.  I call us the Booth Bunch.  :-)  We usually do some kind of run on Wednesdays.  Either intervals at the track or just a run where we all stop and finish together.

Last night Jon put together a scavenger hunt where we were supposed to take selfies in front of different locations or statues around campus.  I paired up with his wife Janelle who I have been having a blast running with the last few months.  She is a lot of fun and I have loved getting to know her better.

Janelle and I in front of the Memorial Union.  Just one of many stops. 

Finished up and then ran the inter mural track to get my three miles in. 

I was still sore and tired from my workout from the day before.  But when it's a competition it's amazing how you can dig deep and do better than you really think you can.  I sometimes will have a competition in my classroom for different activities.  Usually the prize is something silly like a Jolly Rancher or even just bragging rights.  It always amazes me how hard the students will work for such a small prize.  That competitive spirit is an amazing thing.

We ran all over campus and got all the pictures we needed.

We came in second out of three teams. lol  But I know that when we were running I was running much faster than I would have pushed myself if we were just out for a normal run around campus.  :-)

I was wearing my purple sparkly headband.  Jon complimented it when we were warming up.  I told him it was my Badass with Sparkle headband because I needed to remind myself that I was actually a Badass.  He laughed and asked why I needed to remember that and I told him that I had really let Tuesday's frustration get to me.

Funny, he said a lot of the same things that Joe had said with a few more coachy things thrown in.  :-)

Trust the training.  Don't be so hard on yourself, you are going to do great, etc.  He asked me if I have done everything he has asked me to do.  I said yes.  He asked me if I had given 80% to 90% effort in my workouts.  I said yes.  He said trust the training.

I'm focusing on "Trust the training."

I have done a lot of things in the last six months that I couldn't do a year ago.  Yesterday and today I have really thought about how far I have come.  I am glad that I only gave myself one day to wallow on my frustrations because in reality I have a lot to be proud already without even doing my triathlon.

Last summer Joe kept asking me when I was going to ride my bike again and I kept putting it off because I was scared to ride my bike.  This year I have ridden 169 miles in just the month of July alone.  Last June I started swim lessons with Bri and could barely swim one length of the pool without having to stop because I was either snorting water or needed to catch my breath.  Now I can swim a mile with a pretty consistent pace and few or no breaks to catch my breath.  A mile!!

Trust the training.

My friends and family, coach, and husband are all going to be proud of me no matter what place I come in on race day, even if it's DFL (Dead Fucking Last).  They will be proud of me even if something awful happens and I don't finish.  I need to let that go.  I just really want them to be proud of me and honor all their support by kicking ass.  Guess I still am working on that one.

So I have three weeks to go.  Still more work to be done both mentally and physically.

I had one rough day on the mental end of things but instead of dwelling I got over it.  (At least I'm trying, that little niggle is still in the back of my head but I'm telling that niggle to Kiss My Ass!)

I'm sore and tired but I'm still doing what I'm supposed to be doing and pushing through.  Thank God it's summer and I can take naps!!!  lol  I love naps!

I had no idea when I started running six years ago how much of becoming a runner would be working on the mental side of things.  I've come a long way since then but still have a long way to go.

Three weeks until race day.

Trust the training.

A Year Without Music

I have not listened to music during a workout in a year and a half.

A lot of people may read that and think, "So?  I never listen to music, big deal."

I always had music when I ran or hiked.  The only time I didn't have music was if I was hiking with friends so I could talk.

I liked listening to my music.  I could tune out the world and just get lost in the music.  Kept me from thinking too much as well.

But I made a conscious decision to stop listening to music on my hikes.  When I was in the last year of my Masters degree program I decided I was going to hike at least once a week no matter what.  That would be my self care for the week in order to not go insane.  I decided to take it one step further and be totally unplugged when I was hiking.  No big deal when I had people with me.  Very different when I was alone.

No music, no noise, nothing but me.

Being alone with my own thoughts for hours at a time is more difficult than I thought it would be.  It sounds silly but time alone without distractions means there is a lot of thinking time happening.  I couldn't distract myself and get lost in the music.

Being in my own thoughts was very uncomfortable at first.

Because I would think of all the negative stuff first.

Not a good path to go down.

Except that it was.

Not only did I think about the negative stuff, I was able to take the time to really take out the negative stuff and look at it closely.  Why do I think that way?  How does it affect me?  How can I make changes in my life or my thinking to challenge that negative stuff?

I discovered that having that quiet time really helped me work on a lot of my "stuff."  You know what I'm talking about.  We all have "stuff" in our life that gets in our way or slows us down.  Burdens we pick up or things we can't let go of.  I realized that with all the things that I was busy with was actually kept me from taking the time (or having to take the time) to deal with things.

I was taking classes about counseling, encouraged to take time for self care and in that time I took I was actually able to work on some things that helped me be a better person.  Kind of like my own private counseling time.  Certainly a lot cheaper than going to therapy.

The bonus part was that on many of the hikes, once the thinking took a rest I was able to appreciate more than just how beautiful it was.  I was able to hear the beauty as well.

The sounds of the birds.

How the wind moved through the trees.

The grass rustling in the meadows.

The jingle of my puppy's collar as she ran on the trails with me.

Rain.  Rain has so many different sounds depending on how it is coming down.  Hard splats, soft pitter patters, drizzles that collect on the leaves and then fall to the ground.

How quiet it gets on a foggy morning, everything is so still.

This year I started training for triathlons and continued working out with no music.  Most triathlons won't let you have headphones in during the bike ride and sometimes the run as well.  Can't wear them in the water either so I figured I should just keep working out without the music.  The only exception has been when I'm on the stationary bike or the treadmill at the YMCA.  Then I watch TV shows while I people watch.  Keeps things interesting while I'm working hard and not going anywhere.

Swimming has become where I don't think.  Mostly because I am too busy thinking about all the things I am supposed to be doing.  You know, so I don't drown.  :-)

Biking is just getting funner and funner!  I loved riding my bike when I was a kid and that love is coming back the more confident I become.  I still have to work hard to go fast or get up hills but I get better all the time.

Right now I'm pushing myself with running.  Trying to get faster so that takes concentration as well.  I find myself listening to my body more.  How my breathing sounds and how my footfalls sound.  It's pretty amazing hearing my body working hard.

Working out without music has taught me a lot.  I have learned to be more comfortable with myself and my own thoughts.  I have learned to be still and really listen, not just to my thoughts but to the world around me.  God created an incredible place for us, it's good to take away some of the noise and distractions in order to really appreciate it.

I'm four weeks away from my Olympic triathlon.  Lots of work to do yet.  But I'm going to keep working!  :-)

Dog Days of Summer

Today I had a brick workout.  That means I had to do two workouts, back to back.  Today it was a 75 minute bike ride and a 30 minute run.

Joe was doing the Strawberry Century ride in Lebanon so since I was awake anyway I decided to drive Joe to Lebanon and then go back and pick him up when he was done.  I know how nice it was to have someone drive for me last weekend so I figured Joe wouldn't mind it either.  I know he wasn't racing but seriously, 100 miles!!!  On a bike!!  He deserved to have someone drive him home.

After he took off I came back home and got ready for my bike ride.  It was weird.  I was really nervous.  I don't know why.  I had some of those, "I am sure I'm going to fall down" feelings.  Which is weird because I have gotten so much more confident with my stopping and starting and everything and I haven't fallen down since February.  ;-)

I had mapped a route out on Runkeeper that I thought would be about 75 minutes and if it went to short or too long on time it would be easy to extend or shorten the route.

Here's the route I had mapped out:

Here's what I actually did:

I did fine until I was on Engle.  For some reason I turned off that road when I should have stayed on Engle. 

It was kind of fun seeing some new roads and new things to see.   Then I had my first encounter with a dog.  I mean first encounter ever while riding my bike.  I guess I'm pretty lucky that in all the months I have been riding there hasn't been a dog out that has chased me.  That all ended today.  This dog was a sheep dog of some kind.  I had seen some geese and other birds in a pen as I rode by a farm house so when I first heard a rustle in the bushes beside me I thought I would look over and see a bird.  Nope!  It was a dog!  And it was chasing me down the road.  Yikes.  I shouted "NO!!" a few times and it stopped and just looked at me like, "What?"  lol  Okay, that wasn't too bad. 

Then I took the wrong turn.  I was supposed to stay on Engle but instead I turned onto Gerig Dr.  Of course I didn't know I had taken a wrong turn at the time.  The nice part about doing new routes in this area is that most of the roads hook up with another road that I do know so if I got of course I would eventually pop out somewhere I knew.  

I riding down this road and I hear something from the side of the road in the bushes and I look over my shoulder.  Crap on a cracker!!  A German Shepherd dog is running after me!  Oh man!  I start shouting NO like I did before and pedaling faster.  The dog just kept running after me.  I got a nice little aerobic interval right there because I got up to 20 miles an hour and my heart rate was about 170 bpm.  I thought that dog was never going to give up!  Scared the shit out of me, not going to lie.  The dog wasn't barking or anything but in my mind this is what it was like:

Here's what it probably really looked like:

I wasn't going to slow down to find out if it just wanted to give me a lick and get a pet!  I think I went almost 1/4 of a mile before it finally gave up.  What a relief!!

I came to a T in the road and wasn't quite sure where I was.  I took a right and figured I'd bump into a road I knew sooner or later.  I couldn't figure out why this road was so busy.  I hadn't seen any traffic all morning and now there were a ton of cars.  Then I saw a sign I recognized and realized that I was on Hwy 20.  Well, I went quite a ways the wrong way!  I really didn't want to be riding on the highway but fortunately there was road to the right and I knew this one would get me going back towards home.  I turned right on Bohlken and started making my way back.  

I was keeping an eye out as a I passed houses because I wanted to be ready if there was anymore dogs.  Fortunately I didn't see anymore....on my bike ride.  

I was supposed to ride 75 minutes but because of my little adventure off course I went 85 minutes.  But the last 10 minutes were back in town and took awhile because of traffic lights and being cautious about cars.  

Once I got home I changed out of my bike shorts, got on some running pants and took off for my run.  I was supposed to run eight minutes and walk one minute, repeat for 30 minutes.  It always feels odd to run right after a long bike ride.  I can't tell how fast I'm going and my rear end is either completely numb or feels really weird.  It took almost the whole first eight minutes to feel like I was getting into any kind of good rhythm.  

I had just finished a walk interval and was running again when I saw more dogs.  Yep, this time there were two.  They were on the sidewalk and no one was around.  As soon as they saw me they started barking like crazy.  One of them was doing the whole snarling thing.  I just kept running but kept my eye on them.  

Just as I was nearing them and wondering if the ferocious animals were going to be the ones who actually got a bite out of me, a man a few houses up ahead steps out of his driveway and yells at the dogs to stop it and come back.  Whew, what a relief.  

Actually, I was pretty sure I could outrun these two dogs.  They were two fat little wiener dogs.  They totally waddled down the sidewalk.  Not near as terrifying as the encounters I had while I was on my bike ride.  

It was a near thing but I got away. :-)  

I am sure there are little dogs that could be just as scary as big dogs but fortunately for me these were not the scary little ankle biters.  They just acted like it for a minute.  The owner apologized and said if I had taken one step towards them they probably would have peed.  

I finished off my run with a decent pace.  Not great but not terrible which is also how I felt about the bike ride.  At least I got both done.  :-)  

My friend Trevor said that next time on the bike I should spray my water bottle at the dogs face.  Sounds great except that would take coordination.  Get the water bottle out, point it at the dog, spray and do all of that while pedaling really fast so that I don't get caught.  Oh ya, and don't fall down.  lol I don't think that would work very well for me.  

Last day of school with students was last Friday.  Last day of work is Monday.  

I'm ready for some summer fun and to keep working on getting stronger and faster, especially if I'm going to be chased by dogs!!

Blue Lake Sprint Triathlon 2016

Blue Lake Sprint Triathlon

Because I live in Oregon and because it's the beginning of June and because it's the beginning of the Portland Rose Festival I had been mentally planning for this event to be cold and rainy.

Boy was I wrong!!

Record setting high temperatures all weekend all over the state.

At Blue Lake the temperature today is supposed to be 100 degrees.  It was already 80 degrees at 10:30 when I finished my event.  It felt way hotter than that during the run!!

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The last few weeks I have had to back off on my workouts.  Wasn't really thrilled about it but with the end of the school year stresses it was the right choice so that I didn't become a basket case by the last day of school.

While this was good for my overall state of mind it didn't make me feel as prepared as I would have liked for the triathlon this weekend.  Then with the temperature forecasted as being record setting temperatures I was a bit nervous.  I haven't done well with running in the heat in the past.  Now I'm supposed to swim, bike and then run in it?  Yep, I had some pretty major butterflies.

My husband couldn't go along which was a bummer.  When I told my BFF Faylene that Joe couldn't go and I was bummed she didn't even hesitate.  "I'll go with you! I'll drive and everything!"  Oh my goodness!  One of the many reasons I love her!!

And then bonus!  Her husband came along too!  So two of my favorite people in the world were going to go with me and cheer me on.  Sweet!

I picked them up bright and early, 5:00 a.m., and we headed to Portland.  One of the downsides of drinking lots of water ahead of the race to be well hydrated in anticipation of the heat is having to pee often.  We made one pit stop on the way so I could use the bathroom.  As soon as we arrived I immediately went and got in line to go again and it had only been 30 minutes!!  And I had to go one more time before we started the swim.  Seriously!!

Sunrise on the way to the race.

Faylene and I went and picked up my packet with all my race gear.  There's a sticker that goes on the helmet and then another to go on the bike that have my bib number.  I put my bib on my race belt and Faylene put the stickers on my bike and helmet.

Third Sprint Tri of the year.

I found my friend Melissa and we headed down to the lake to put on our wetsuits.  No reason to stand around up at transition in a hot wetsuit and then trudge down to the water in it.  When you aren't in the water it doesn't take long to heat up!  They made an announcement that the water temperature was 71 degrees!  Wow, that's significantly warmer than what I had been practicing in this spring.  So I decided to not wear my neoprene cap and booties.  I also didn't worry about ear plugs.

Couple of Badass with Sparkle girls!  <3

I was in the last heat to take off for the Sprint Triathlon.  Melissa took off two heats before me since she is a young chicky yet.  :-)

I had to wait a bit.  I hate waiting.  I just want to get started because then I'm doing something.  Finally it was my turn to line up.  Jon called me over and gave me some last minute instructions on the swim.  Start slow until I get around the first buoy and then find a good pace and go.  :-)

Watching Melissa take off, waiting for my turn.  

I did a much better job this time of going in a straight line.  I also did a much better job of making other people, the ones that were zig zagging, stop for me instead of the other way around.

The water felt great.  Definitely more fun to swim in open water when your face doesn't hurt every time you put in the water.  I have grown up swimming in lakes and so I really like the open water swim aspect of triathlons.  Now to work on getting faster.

Finishing the swim.  Red cap started in the heat before me and kept zig zagging in front of me.  I wouldn't stop for him. :-)

Came out of the water and headed into transition.

Ugh.  Transition was slow.  Someone had kicked my stuff around so my nice neat piles weren't so organized anymore.  I tossed my goggles and swim cap down and accidentally dropped my Garmin too.  So I wasted a few minutes worrying about what the heck I had done with that. So it took me a bit to get the wet suit off and then get what I needed for the ride. Will have to continue to work on making transitions better.

I took off on the bike.  The bike course is a flat out and back ride along Marine Dr.  This follows the Columbia River.  It was really pretty.  There wasn't much wind and I was moving along at a pretty good clip for me.  I saw Melissa heading toward me when I was at about mile 4.5.  It was fun to see her and give her a Woo Hoo!!

Ready to ride.  

We turned around at six miles and headed back to the park.  Oh my word!  There was a spectacular view of Mt. Hood for most of the ride back.  I loved seeing that mountain during my ride!

I had been shooting for getting the ride done in 45 minutes, but it took me 50 minutes to finish.  Still pretty good.  My average pace was over 14 mph which is better than anything I've done in training so that made me happy.

Next came the run.  This was the part I was worried about.  I don't run well in the heat as a general rule.  And it was hot!  Eighty degrees while I was running and it felt way hotter when I was out in the direct sunlight.  I did pretty good for the first mile but there was quite a bit of shade. Then I got out in the sunshine.  Ugh again.  I slowed WAY down.

Not fond of pictures of me running. lol  I look very serious here.

Then I saw my friend Melissa.  She was walking down the path and I could tell she was struggling.  Now you need to understand, this women is amazing.  She has had a very frustrating year dealing with injuries and set backs.  When she works out most of the time she pushes through pain or has to deal with pain after.  A lot of pain!  But she keeps going.  Badass with Sparkle!!  Today that sparkle showed big time!  She was hurting, hadn't been training, and went out and kicked ass.

But here's the thing.  Melissa is just like me and I think like a lot of us.  We look at what we think we should be doing instead of seeing how awesome what we are actually doing is, right at that moment.

So here comes Melissa and she doesn't look happy.  So I wrap her up in a big sweaty yeti hug and remind her how badass she is for doing the race at all.  She says she has gotten in her own head.  Been there, done that.  Another reminder that she is awesome and that she has less than a mile to go to the finish. So what if she walks?

Just as I'm getting ready to take off a woman that was going by says, "Hey, why don't you keep me company?" and starts walking with Melissa!  I absolutely love that!  Total stranger but willing to support another athlete.  Awesome!

I took a moment to use my inhaler and take some fuel.  Did I mention that it was hot?  There was a small hill and I decided to walk up it and then start running on the other side.  The run was really slow.  At the turn around there was a young man with a sprayer and I let him completely soak me.  It felt so good!  I had just over 1.5 miles to finish.  I was running but it was a really, really slow run.  I would walk here and there for a few yards and then get going again.  I saw Janelle when I was almost back to the lake.  It is always great to see a smiling face I know and get a high five.  It was a nice boost towards the end.

The route took us back to the lake and we ran along the lake for the last quarter of a mile.  Blue Lake is a really nice park and I liked being able to see more of it, even if it was at the end of a sucky run.  :-)

All of a sudden I can see the finish line!  Dwayne and Faylene were there waiting to cheer me across the finish.  It was awesome!!!  So were Melissa and Marcus!!  Fun to have such supportive people making it sound like I had just won the whole damn thing.

I made it!  I look relieved, don't I?  :-)

Dwayne and Faylene made sure I had water and had gotten my cooler out of the car.  The followed me around as I walked around and cooled down.  Then I went to get some food.  There was also free beers for the athletes and since I don't drink beer my two Sherpas ended up with my beers.  Weird.  I got another water, a chocolate milk, made a chicken sandwich and grabbed some donuts.  The chocolate milk was SO yummy!  Nice and cold and tasted amazing.  The chicken sandwich hit the spot too.  Once I got some food in me Faylene popped open the 2 Towns Cider I had brought along.  It tasted so good!!  Even better than the chocolate milk.  ;-)

My BFF and a cider.  Good way to finish the race!  :-)  

Next we wandered around to look for Jon.  Got my high five and hug from my coach.  He seemed pretty pleased with how I did.  :-)

Then it was time to gather up all my gear, load up the car and head for home.  It still weirds me out a little to be the one that everyone is helping out, instead of being the Sherpa for someone else.

We loaded up the bike and got everything in the car and headed for home.  I cannot even tell you how much I appreciated not having to drive home!  That was one of the things that I wasn't looking forward to when Joe found out he could come with me.  I got to just sit and chill.  We had the AC cranked up and it felt so good!!

I was overwhelmed by all the support and encouragement I got from friends and family.  I got an amazing amount of love before and after the race, through emails, Facebook and texts.  It was seriously awesome.  When I look at my times and how I did and start comparing it to other people it isn't good.  So I appreciate all the love sent my way because it helps remind me that it's pretty cool that I'm out there trying this crazy stuff, even if I'm always on the bottom end of results.

I was talking to some friends the next night about how it went.  I had totally forgotten that Mark and his son had participated in the Take Me Out to the Ballpark 5k the same year I did it for my very first race ever.  I was telling them how my 5k time was really slow and Mark started laughing.  He said, "I remember how hot it was at that first 5k you did!  And you were slower at that race than your time at this tri, right?"  I said yes and he said, "You went faster and had a swim and a bike first!"  I had made this same observation myself after the Oregon Dunes triathlon but it was fun to have someone else see it too.  :-)  I will have to see if I can dig up a picture of me from that first 5k.

Here is my official results:

• Total time 2:06:26
• Swim Time: 23:21
• T1: 6:31
• Bike Time: 50:48
• T2: 2:14
• Run Time: 43:21
• Division place: 8th (Once place says 7th, one says 8th but on the age division they only have three listed, think there is a mistake somewhere! lol)
• Place: 253 out of 270

I have to very firmly remind myself to be proud of the fact that I did a triathlon instead of comparing myself to others and how far down the list I am.  Sigh.  Wish that was easier for me.

However, my coach sent me a link to an article a couple of weeks ago.  http://running.competitor.com/2016/05/out-there/out-there-i-can-i-will-and-kiss-my-a_150443  Check it out, it's a great article, very inspiring.  The girl in the article says to anyone who doubts her, "I can, I will, kiss my ass!"  I have found myself saying this often....to the negative voices in my own head!

Nobody is saying anything like that to me.  I say negative things to myself.  I should have done better, they are faster, why can't I be like her?  It goes on.  I have to really work at not going down that road and stay focused on what I have accomplished.  No comparisons!  So I tell the Negative Nancy voice in my head to Kiss My Ass!  No negative self talk allowed!!

Next up is the Tri at the Grove.  My first Olympic Triathlon.  I have butterflies in my stomach just typing that.  Yikes!  Shit's getting real now.

I'm sure there will be some adventures during the next few weeks while getting ready!  I know my coach has plans for me as soon as I'm done with the school year.  Should be interesting to see how I do.

I was showing my medal from this weekend's race to my students at school.  Someone asked if I won and I said no.  They said, "Oh, then it's just a participation medal."  They were a bit snotty about how they said it, imagine that, a middle-schooler sounding snotty!  lol  While I understand what he meant, there is a lot of talk right now about giving kids medals and trophies for participating and how that doesn't teach them many of the things that sports can teach a child.  How to be a gracious loser, how to be a gracious winner, how to handle it when you don't do well, how to work hard to become better, etc.  All amazing things for a kid to learn.

I told the student that it's a little different for adults, that for a lot of people, getting out there and doing something out our comfort zone is hard.  Getting a medal to show what we accomplished is pretty cool.   I didn't play sports as a kid for various reasons.  The lessons I have been learning through running, and now through triathlons, have helped me become a better person so I appreciate the medal to be proud of.  I don't give up, I work hard and I do things way out of my comfort zone.

So yes, I get a participation medal and I'm totally okay with it.  :-)

It's a heavy one too!

Next up, my Olympic Triathlon.  I've got some work to do!

**Photo credit to Faylene Gardner and Jon Booth.  :-)  I was too busy to take any pictures.  :-)