As I adjust to my new normal I have been thinking about a lot of things. This past year was a bit crazy with a lot of changes and new adventures. I felt like I was stretched to my limits many many times and how I dealt with it wasn't always pretty. Things have calmed down a bit now so I am learning, or re-learning, that it is okay to sometimes put myself first.
The things that have settled are:
- Old house is sold.
- Youngest kiddo graduated high school.
- Successful graduation party for kiddo and her two besties (in spite of no kitchen due an unexpected remodel 😖)
- Moved into the new house.
- New house is 90% unpacked. (The beginning of a new school year slowed down that process.)
- Youngest kiddo officially dropped off at college and successfully launched into phase one of adulting.
- Joe's Santa Rosa race is done with his personal goal being crushed. (I'm a wee bit proud!)
- Hubby taking a little break from Ironman training so that I can have a break from Ironman #1 support person. (It's a lot harder than I ever think it will be.)
- Packed up classroom.
- Unpacked classroom in a new room.
I'm feeling more settled and on a more even keel. My workouts aren't dialed in but I'm getting better every week. Better as in, I am remembering more and more that I CAN do these things. I am remembering more and more how much it helps me stay on that even keel. I have been working on dialing in my eating, since I know that I use that as a comfort and not in a healthy way. Since the beginning of the school year I have lost 13 pounds.
All of these things sound great but I'm still struggling with some things. A long time ago when I started my journey toward being a healthier me I had a long term goal. In my effort to deal with the slow progress I made and the many setbacks and start-overs I had a long term goal. The goal was that by the time I was 50 I would be at the healthy weight I wanted and be so much faster at the running. That goal eventually included the swimming and biking parts too.
I turn 50 next month.
I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be.
Not even close.
It's hard not to focus on that. I know that if I do focus on that too much then I will wallow in it and get sad about it and the downward spiral starts spinning.
Since my school year began I have been working really hard on keeping my mindset positive. Not always easy but it's getting better.
One of the ways I have worked at keeping the more positive mindset is to keep an attitude of gratefulness. Because I have SO MANY things to be grateful for.
I am grateful for friends who send me flowers and a beautiful card the day after a race weekend that made me feel incredibly special and loved.
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| Thank you Kelli!! 💜 |
I am grateful for friends that drag me out of my house to do 5k races at the last minute. Then hang out and eat lunch with me at my house.
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| 3rd place age group (Me) and 2nd Place age group (Kathryn) Yay us! |
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| Finn ran with me and he got a medal too! |
I am grateful for friends that invite us to be involved in their epic days. Got to crew for some friends during their Mountain Lakes 100 mile trail run. One friend got a fabulous PR and another friend finished her first ever 100 miler. So amazing to be a small part of their day.
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| The view as we were driving to the race start. |
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| Me and my best guy before the race began. |
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| Pote looking solid as she fuels up after about 26 miles. |
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| Josh with his pacer Joe getting ready to head out around Timothy Lake. |
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| Kristy being all chill after finishing her first 100 😀 |
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| Congrats to Kristy! |
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| Kristy with her #1 Support Person, Tony. |
I am grateful for being able to take advantage of the last few days of sunshine and explore new roads where I am now living. I'm also grateful that I am comfortable going out and being active alone. Sometimes that alone time to just do my own thing is good.
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| Beautiful fall day. |
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| Still smiling even though I got stung in the jaw by a bee. 🐝 |
I am grateful for times walking about in the woods having great conversations, lots of laughter and maybe a few tears with people who love me even when I'm not at my best and am struggling with the dark places. I have had people who did not do that in the past so that makes me appreciate the ones that have stuck it out with me! I'm also grateful for goofy dogs that make me smile.
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| Greta, Georgia, Finn and Niko |
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| Love the fall colors! |
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| Champoeg State Park, Willamette River. |
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| Even the feather I found had some fall colors. |
I am grateful for my Pure Endurance coach and teammates. I am grateful that I was willing to face the unknown and work towards what seemed like a ridiculous goal of doing an Olympic triathlon. Setting that goal has brought the most amazing people into my life. I am grateful that they cheered me on all season long even when I wasn't putting in the work to do more than just participate.
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| Not everyone is in this picture but I love my team and all their support!! |
I am grateful for the amazing men and women I work with. The ones that show up every day to an extraordinarily difficult job and put kids first. It amazing to be a part of the staff at South Albany High School. Some days it is a grind working through all the extra things we deal without outside of teaching the content. But there are so many bright moments when students shine and getting to watch it happen brings tears to my eyes.
So....
I may not be the weight I want to be.
Or the athlete I thought I would be.
I am dealing with a terrible case of adult acne/rosacea.
I am feeling terrible self-conscious about my appearance.
I feel fat and frumpy. I know it's getting better but it's hard not to linger here.
But....
When I start to focus on those things,
I'm going to work at changing the story in my head.
I'm going to remember I have SO MUCH to be grateful for!
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