Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Excuses, Excuses

Evidently my faithful followers like to hear about when things are not going well.  I get more views to my blog on days where I'm whining or complaining than I do on the days where I'm celebrating something.  lol  Cheer up people!

That being said, I'm going to be honest here.  The last month has been a real struggle for me.  I finished the Eugene Half and got my PR and then I kind of fizzled.  For a couple of weeks I kinda/sorta got out and ran but not a real concerted effort.  Then I sprained my ankle.  I used that as an excuse as well and didn't make an effort at all.  Here's how much of a difference I had in my running.  For the month of April I totalled 69.5 miles.  For the month of May I totalled 22.4!  I ran more than that in one week when I was training.  Yikes! 

Here are some of my excuses (and I fully acknowledge that they are just excuses!):
  • I have really been struggling with being tired.  It has been a struggle all along but last month it was bad.  I would come home, sit down and fall asleep. 
  • The last full month of school begins to be a bit crazy.  The behavior problems go on the rise and it takes a considerable amount of energy to keep pushing kids to do and be better all while maintaining an encouraging smile.  Why do kids act out at the end of school?  Because a lot of them really don't want it to be summer.  The lose the only consistent, stable adults they have in their lives until next fall.  Heartbreaking. 
  • There was quite a bit of warm, actually down right hot, weather last month.  I hate running in the heat.  I will do it because I know that I need to for my training for Cascade Lakes Relay.  But I really don't like it!!  Add the heat to the tired and there was NO motivation to going out for a run. 
  • I sprained my ankle.  It hurt.  I probably could have run on it sooner but after standing in front of the classroom all day it was all swollen and hurt.   
  • My classroom is the hot sauna room from H-E-double toothpicks!  I start out the day warm and by the last period we are all melting. 
  • So, I'm tired, the weather is hot, my classroom is hot, my foot is swollen and I'm tired.  Not a good combination for being motivated to go out and create a healthier me. 
I would rather eat a cookie (or two, or three....).

So yesterday, I fiddle farted around after I got home.  Then I put on my running clothes and fiddle farted some more.  I didn't want to go.  I knew it was going to be ugly.  It was another hot day, I haven't been running like I should.  I'm going to be slow AND it's going to hurt.  I finally decided to suck it up and go.  I went for a three mile run. Actually I went for a two mile run and a one mile walk.  Actually I went for a one mile run, a run mile SLOW, barely can be called a jog, jog and a one mile walk.  The first mile wasn't horrible.  Slow but doable.  The second mile was tougher.  My body was telling me to quit and go home and my brain was telling my body to suck it up.  I pushed through the second mile but then my calves started getting really tight and hurting so I walked the last mile.

I figure this week is about reminding my body that I really am a runner and I can do this.  I've been doing it.  It really is amazing how quickly you lose ground when you quit.  This isn't ever going to be about reaching my goal weight and then quitting.  This is absolutely about having a new lifestyle that I keep for my whole life.  No magic pill, no magic shake.  I just have to get out and do something.  If I don't than the only change I'm going to see is my waistline getting bigger.

Why is it I know all this and I still have an ENTIRE month go by where I can't get motivated?  I feel like I'm starting all over.  I'm right back where I was at Christmas.  I know that I'm not.  I haven't lost that much ground or put on a ton of weight.  This is more in my head.  I guess I need to go back to searching for my droids (see this post to know what I'm talking about :-): 

Today I have our last meeting to get ready for the 8th grade DC/NYC trip that leaves on the 14th.  I have been running right after school but right before the meeting.  Since it is 80 degrees outside I have decided to run after the meeting, in the evening when it cools down.  I'm anticipating another yukky run because my body will be not happy that I'm out torturing it again.  Oh well.  My head and my heart will rule the day.

A few hours later....

The run was terrible.  Not because my legs hurt.  I didn't have any cramping or tightness at all.  I got a headache during my meeting.  When I got home I took some Advil and sat on the couch for about 30 minutes and it felt much better.  So I changed my clothes and started on my run.  The throbbing of my head coincided with the the bouncing of the run.  It wasn't good.  I made it over 2 miles tonight.  They were slow miles but I got them done.  By then my head hurt so bad that I wanted it to just fall off of my neck so I walked the last mile again.  I'm trying to focus on the fact that I went out there.  Today is one of those days where it's hard to have a good attitude.  The only good thing about it this run was that I went.

I have to swim tomorrow.  Next run is supposed to be on Friday.  We shall see how it goes.  Definitely feel like I'm running in place and getting nowhere fast tonight.  

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