Some People are Jerks!

Time to get back into the groove.  No excuses anymore.  Graduation is over.  School is out.  Ironman is over.  I'm home.  Time to get at it.  Easier said than done.

During the last couple of months my running has been sporadic to say the least.  This is being kind.  I only ran 25 miles in June and only 22 miles in May.  Pathetic.  There is always a price to pay when I haven't been diligent and I'm paying that price now.

Yesterday I went out and did a three mile run/walk.  I ran the first half and walked the second half.  It was hot (already past 70 degrees at 8:30 in the morning) and I have a blister from the run I did last week in Coeur d'Alene.  But it felt good to be out there and doing something.

Today I was going to do better.  Go farther and keep a better pace.  I started out feeling pretty good.  Not super speedy but at a 13'30 average pace.  I felt good for the second mile as well.  It is a bit of an incline on the route I took but I was working through the kinks and the self-talk that wanted me to turn around and go home.

Then it happened.....

Usually I keep track of all the wonderful people that wave or give me thumbs up as I run.  I love that and it gives me a little boost every time it happens.  I feel like people are cheering me on for being out there and trying to get healthy.  I know that I'm not thin.  I know that things jiggle when I run.  But I'm doing something about it.  I can't help that it is taking forever and that progress is slow.  Better slow progress than no progress.  They tell us in teaching and parenting that it takes 100 compliments or positive comments to balance out ONE negative comment.  Why do we listen to the crap?  Today I did and it made me spiral into a crappy run and crappy day.

I was running and almost done with mile two.  I'm out on a country road by my house that is narrow so I keep the music low on my iPhone so that I can listen for cars.  I was feeling pretty good and was thinking I was going to be able to push it to five miles and run the whole thing.  I heard a truck coming up behind me and could tell it was slowing down.  I look over and there is a car load of young men in an old Bronco looking rig.  They have the windows rolled down and one guy has his head out the window.  He yells as they go by "Keep at it lady!  Your ass is still shaking!"  and then they all start laughing and roar off.

I know that I'm big.  I also know that things jiggle when I run.  Not as much as 6 months ago!  But because I was already working through negative self-talk this just tipped me over the edge.  I stopped running.  I walked.  And I cried.  I felt defeated and fat and that I should just go home because what is the point.  I haven't lost any weight during the last two months.  Why on earth did I ever think that I could do this?  I kept walking though.  I almost turned around when I saw a car in the distance parked on the side of the road.  I had the horrible thought that it might be the same boys and I would have to pass them again.  At that point I decided to keep going.  They may have gotten me to doubt myself and to walk but they were not going to keep me from going the route I had chosen.  Turned out it wasn't their car.  That was a relief.

The problem was that for the next 2.5 miles every time I started to run all I could feel was my butt jiggling.  I was so self-conscious about it I just couldn't bring myself to run.  I let those stupid boys win, dammit.  And I KNOW that they are the minority.  I KNOW that most people think it's great that I'm out there trying.  But dang it, it really hurt today.  The jerks won today.

I want my body to look like the effort I'm putting into it.  I want to see results.  Yes, I have been making gains but they are so slow compared to everyone else (it seems like).  I seriously want to smack the next person who says they started running and lost over 50 pounds in 6 months.  I wish!

So today I'm dealing with negative self-talk, frustration over slow progress and angry feelings toward a bunch of stupid boys that are idiots.

Tomorrow I will go out and run again because I'm not going to let myself or a bunch of stupid boys stop me from continuing.  The jerks won't win tomorrow!

Besides my husband told me that he thinks I'm doing great and he is the only opinion that really matters.  :-)

My quote for today.  Going to keep at it.  :-)

My Husband is an IRONMAN!!

2013!!!

Usually I talk about my running successes and my struggles.  Today I'm going to brag about my amazing husband!

Joe had toyed around with the idea of doing an Ironman for awhile.  He did a sprint triathlon a few years ago and was hooked.  He progressively did longer distant triathlons until the only distance left was an Ironman.

We had a long talk about it.  It is not something a couple goes into without both parties being very aware of the time and sacrifice involved leading up to the event.  The entry fee was $650 and that was just the beginning of the extras that came up throughout the year.  We talked about the time he would take for training, that there would be plenty of times (actually most of the time) where training came first.  However, we have been married a long time and that does have it's advantages.  Talking about it up front and acknowledging the challenges that would come was important.  Being willing to accept those challenges and have a plan to not kill each other was also important.  :-)

Joe had just done a half Ironman distance triathlon at Pacific Crest in Bend, OR.  The bike ride got cut almost in half because of a snow storm on Mt. Bachelor but overall that race went well.  On the way home we stopped in Bend at Burger King because we could get free wifi for the lap top.  We then waited for registration to open for the 2013 Ironman Coeur d'Alene.  Once we registered it was the real deal.

My husband worked hard.  When he decides to do something, he does it 100%.  He found a training plan he liked online and then tweaked it around his firefighter schedule, 24 hours at work, 48 hours off of work.  Except for the weekends it worked out well for the family because he was able to get his training done while we were all at school.  :-)  And since Christmas I have had my own long runs to do on the weekends so we were both training.  Although he obviously was doing WAY more than I was.

Fast forward to one year later.  I went to DC/NYC with 8th graders from my school.  I got back last Wednesday night late.  Joe left for Coeur d'Alene with his buddy Josh, who he trained with and was also doing the Ironman, on Wednesday morning.  This gave the guys a few days to get situated and get checked in and drop off all their gear.  Believe me, there was a lot of gear!  The hotel room looked like an exercise room had exploded in it yesterday.  lol

Wendie and I left Friday morning to join the guys.  We had a fun drive over to Coeur d'Alene with lots of laughing, talking and singing.  :-)  I was more than ready to see Joe! It had been seven days since he dropped me off at the school to leave on my trip and for us that's a really long time.  :-)  Twenty-three years of marriage and I still miss him like crazy when we are apart.  Lucky me!

Now usually before races or events my husband is calm, cool and collected.  Actually in most aspects of life he is calm, cool and collected.  It takes a lot to ruffle his feathers.  The Ironman ruffled his feathers.  My job as the spouse was to be the "You Got This" girl.  Not a hard job when I totally knew he truly did have this in the bag.  So Friday evening, Saturday and Sunday morning my focus was on encouraging, supporting and making sure he knew I believed in him 100%.  Was trying my hardest to drown out his negative self-talk.  He does it often enough for me so I was just returning the favor.

We dropped the boys off so they could check in and get ready for the swim. As soon as they were out of eye sight I cried.  Typical for me, I'm a cryer.  I cry when I'm happy, when I'm stressed, when I'm angry, when I'm proud.  I'm a cryer.  My friends and family know this about me and laughingly tolerate it.  So after a weekend of encouraging my husband and stomping down my own fears and concerns I could let it go a little.  I never once believed that he wouldn't finish the Ironman.  I totally knew he could do this.  But I did worry about him getting injured or not being able to finish because of something outside of his control.  That would suck and be really hard for him.  That's what I was scared about.  And to tell you the truth, it freaked me out a little to have him freaking out.  Joe just doesn't freak out about things, ever.  I didn't want him to get more freaked out because I was freaking out.  We could have easily cycled into "I can't do this" mode in a hurry.  I also knew that once Joe got going he would mentally be fine.  So we needed to hurry up and get this party started so that he would stop thinking about it so much.

Josh & Joe ready to head over to the swim.  Let's get this going!

We left the guys and headed over to the cheering section on the beach of Lake Coeur d'Alene.  What a beautiful part of the country Coeur d'Alene is!   The weather had been raining all week but the forecast was for fog in the morning, low 70's in the afternoon and then rainclouds moving in during the evening.  Almost perfect weather for an Ironman.

IronMates Lisa & Wendie

I don't know how I would have made it through the day without this fantastic lady!  Wendie was there for hugs and high fives all day as we watched and waited for our guys to finish.  There is a lot of hurry up and waiting for those that are cheering on loved ones.  It makes for a very long and stressful day.  Other than the few times we see them and the tracker that shows they hit another checkpoint we have no idea how they are doing, mentally or physically.  

The swim was a rolling start.

The swim started with a rolling start for the first time at Coeur d'Alene.  Instead of everyone stampeding into the water when the cannon fired, they had them line up along the beach according to their estimated time to finish the swim.  Then they started letting people in the water at 6:30.  This kept people from getting hurt but it did make the course clocks not completely accurate for the athletes.  Joe crossed the start pad at around 6:45 a.m. so the time on the clock at the finish was not his actual finish time.  This meant that there was some mental math going on.  The midnight finish was not going be accurate because everyone was in the water before 7:00 a.m.  They each had 17 hours from the time they crossed the start line. Joe basically had to finish by 11:45 p.m. to be an official Ironman.  No problem!  :-)

Josh is to the left with the red cap showing under the green cap.  He's finished lap one of the swim.

They athletes had to do two laps in the water.  They would run on shore and then run back into the water and swim at angle back over to the buoys for the second lap.  In the picture above the swimmers in the background are finishing their first lap and the athletes standing in foreground are heading out for their second lap.  Volunteers stood in the water all morning showing the path for the athletes.  That was a cold job!

Joe finishing the swim.  Official time of 1:16:58!  He rocked it!

By the time the guys were heading out on their second lap of the 2.4 mile swim the fog was burning off and the sun was coming out.  So beautiful!  Wendie I made our way down to where they came out of the water.  Being part of the Ironman crowd was so much fun!  Everyone was cheering and yelling for all the athletes.  It was like a big all day party.

Probably my favorite sign of the day!

Josh came out of the water a bit behind Joe.  Looking good!

I didn't get pictures of Joe's transition on the bike because I wanted to stay and see Josh come out of the water.  The funniest part of watching people get out of the water was the way some of them staggered out.  Evidently if you don't wear ear plugs the cold water in your ears for that long can affect your balance.  A lot of the athletes looked drunk when the started walking.  Fortunately they balanced out quickly.  That would not be good on the bike ride to be wobbly.  They had volunteers who would grab the strap and unzip the wetsuits as the athletes went by.  You can see it in the picture above.  Then they would get a little further towards the transition tent and the had two volunteers who would grab the wet suit and whoosh, peel it off for the the athletes.  Those suits are not easy to get into or out of.  That saved the athletes a ton of time!  Looked entertaining too.

Josh heading out on the bike.

 Joe passed us after the first big loop.  The pictures I took were all blurry.  I was more interested in seeing my man than taking quality pictures.  He was smiling and pointing at us as he went by.  Usually when he races and I'm spectating he doesn't see me.  He is very focused on what he is doing.  It made me so happy to see him smiling and waving at us.  He looked like he was having a blast.  For the first time all day I relaxed a little.  I didn't realize how tense I was until I saw him at that point of the bike ride.  He looked like he was having a blast!  Guess what I did.  Yep, I cried.  lol  Not long after he went by Josh passed us as well.  He caught up with Joe on the little loop so they were together when they passed us again.  Loved seeing these two fabulous men riding together.  They did a lot of training together this past year and it was amazing for Wendie and I to see them go by together, laughing and joking.  What a kick!

Josh caught up with Joe after the first big lap.  I LOVE this picture!

My favorite picture of the day!

The smile in the picture above says it all.  Joe wasn't going for a super fast time or trying to beat anyone.  He was going for the experience and trying to enjoy it all. He didn't kill himself on the bike but had a good ride that would leave something for the marathon.  I will never forget how he looked during this point of the race.  I was so proud of him!!!

They had another 40+ mile loop to do before we would see them again.  One great thing about this race for the spectators was the way the course was set up made it easy for us to be in spots often where we could see our athletes go by.

Wait, you have my shirt on!

The guys came out of the transition tent after the bike ride and they were wearing their shirts for each other.  So fun to have Joe wearing the Team Gum shirt and Josh wearing the Team Van V shirt.  They were hamming it up for us and we were laughing.  They looked really good and ready for the last portion of the day.  Bring on the marathon.

Couple of Hotties!

The things I do to make my husband smile!

We waited at the turn around for the halfway point of the marathon.  Joe chaffs really bad if he doesn't put on his "nippy covers" which are the small round bandaids.  So this seemed like a funny sign to make that would make him laugh.  His splits were looking good and he was keeping a somewhat steady pace.  When we saw him he looked good and still had a smile and a wave for us.  At this point we were pretty sure he could have walked the last 13 miles and would still make it in the time limit.

I'm good, I've got this!

I had an app on my phone call IronTrac that would give me splits when he passed different checkpoints.  It was great all day.  It helped give us an idea of where the guys were and how much time we had before they would be somewhere we could see them.  Due to the fact that we refreshed the stupid thing often our batteries on our phones died quickly.  Luckily we had been able to score a parking spot a couple blocks away from the park where everything was centrally located.  When we knew we had some time we would go back to the car and get some food and then charge the phones.  It was a pretty good system.  

When Joe got to the last six miles of the marathon he crossed a check point and was averaging about a 15 minute mile.  The first half of the marathon he had been averaging 13 minute miles.  I now know that if I want my husband to run as slow as I do then all I have to do is make him swim 2.4 miles and then bike 112 miles and then I can keep up with him on the run.  :-)  I have a funny feeling he is not going to go for that.   The wait for him to cross the next check point was an ETERNITY!  When he finally did he was averaging an 18 minute mile.  I knew then he was walking.  But it is so hard to wait and know that it is taking a lot longer than it should if he was running.  I was figuring that he was walking but then I started to worry that maybe he got hurt.  How would I know?  Waiting is so hard!  Especially when you don't know what's going on.  He couldn't carry his phone so it's not like he could text me and say "Hey, I've got a blister so I'm walking, I should be there a little after 11 p.m."  That would have been nice.  

When he went over that last check point he only had two miles to go and he would be an Ironman.  We had already been standing in the chute for over an hour.  It was going to be at least another 40 minutes if he kept at the same pace as the last check point.  Good thing it was a giant party in the bleaches in the chute.  It was so much fun!  They had music blasting, spectators were dancing, singing and yelling for the athletes.  Some athletes came down the chute very focused and went straight to the finish line.  Others slowed down and high-fived people in the stands.  Some made a huge production of it.  Those were my favorite.  They wanted the moment to last as long as possible.  One guy stood at the start of the chute and waved his arms up and down for more cheering.  The crowd when bonkers.  Then he proceeded to slap all the hands on one side and then he would back up and get all the hands on the other side.  He just went back and forth down the whole chute doing that.  He didn't miss anyone.  There were married couple that held hands as they finished.  Smiles that were so big and bright we didn't need lights.  Tears, lots of tears.  Both from the athletes and their families.  And from me because I just can't help watching them having their moment and not get emotional about it.  It was so freaking awesome!  Some athletes would see their loved ones and stop and get huge hugs.  Others would be so overwhelmed by all the people and excitement that they didn't see their loved ones.  It was all good!  At this point my phone is going bonkers with Facebook notifications and texts from people who were wondering if Joe was almost done and letting me know that they were watching the live feed from where ever they were.  We had family all over watching.  So fun!  Even family in Iowa watching and they had to stay up even later to see it live. 

Suddenly Wendie is yelling "I see him, he's coming!!" Sure enough there comes my man.  Here's his moment.  What he has worked for for an entire year.  Just thinking about it right now is making me cry.  I can't begin describe how it was to watch him come down that chute.  He had the biggest smile on his face and he was slapping hands as he went by.  He didn't see us and it was so loud that he could hear us but he knew we were there somewhere.  That's all that really mattered.  I watched him cross the finish line and put his hands up.  "Joe Van Veldhuizen...you ARE an IRONMAN!" the announcer said.  Wow!!!  I practically trampled people trying to get out of the bleachers.  I wanted to get to the other side before he went into the athletes area.  I came around the end and I could see he was looking for me.  He knows me well enough to know I was going to be there somewhere.  I yelled and he spotted me.  That was another moment that I will never forget.  He started to cry and, of course, so did I.  He wrapped me up in a HUGE hug and just squeezed me tight and held on.  Have you ever tried to convey to someone how much you love them and are proud of them all in one hug?  That's what I think we were both doing.  We just held on tight for the longest time.  I didn't want to let go!  My man is an Ironman!  

There is a reason that this race is called the Ironman.  It is not easy.  There are the obvious physical challenges of doing the distances for a swim, bike and run.  But there is a lot of the work on the mental side of things too.  I met one woman who had to stop after the swim.  She was telling me that she just panicked about swimming in the open water and the first lap took her over 90 minutes.  We saw another guy at the halfway point of the marathon and could see it on his face that he was done.  He happened to be parked by us and he said that he just could keep going.  His body felt fine but he just couldn't get himself to keep going.  He was so close to finishing!  Crazy!  I'm not sure I could handle the physical aspect or the mental aspect of this kind of race.  It was hard enough just watching my husband go through it!  

We had a whole group of guys from the Willamette Valley area participating.  All of them finished.  What a great group of people.  Loved cheering them on and truly enjoyed getting to know their families and friends that came to support them.  I think the reason these athletes can do what they do is because they are the kind of people they are.  They are the kind of people they are because of the kind of people they have around them supporting them.  The picture below is just three of the other guys we cheered on.  There are a couple of young guys that finished while it was still light outside that aren't in the picture.  Oh to be young and crazy.  lol

Joe V, Josh, Joe Y, and Terry.  Ironman one and all!!

I'm so incredibly proud of Joe!  I'm so thankful that I got to be there for his "moment" at the end of the race.  It has been an amazing journey.

Washington DC

Today I got to run in Washington DC. Lots of people do that every day. Each day that we have been here I have seen people running everywhere we go. No big deal to them. It was a very big deal for me. Last year when I went on this trip I thought it would be amazing to be able to say I ran in Washington DC. Since my friend Dannielle is technically the program leader there was no issue about leaving the students without their group leader. We also have three parents along on the trip so she had help if there was a problem. 

I changed into my running stuff while we were at dinner. Then we headed over to the Pentagon Memorial. That was an incredibly moving memorial. Pictures do not do it justice. If you haven't seen it and you are going to be in the DC area I highly recommend you go. 

Then we headed to the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. The group took off to see the memorial and I took off for my run. I was uncertain how I would do. I hadn't run in a week. This was the third day of walking all over and I was pretty beat. It was about 80 degrees and humid. I don't like running in the heat at all. Running in the heat and humidity didn't sound fun at all. The first place I got to was the Lincoln Memorial. 

The sun was going down and it was beautiful peeking around the memorial. Looking the opposite direction I got this view:

The Washington Monument is under repair due to the earthquake damage it received a while back so it is covered with scaffolding. This is the first time I have see the reflecting pool up and running. They had just started upgrading the water system my first visit four years ago. Last year it was almost done but not quite so there was no water in it yet. 

Next stop was the Vietnam Memorial. Another amazing place. We saw it yesterday and they had long-stemmed roses all along the wall. It was in honor of Fathers Day for all the dads and sons who didn't come home. Red for the men who died. Yellow for those that are MIA and white with red tips for those who did come home. It was beautiful. 

I followed the trail and worked my way back up the way I had come, just on the opposite side. I was just following my nose. The goal was to finish at the Jefferson Memorial and meet up with my group there. I had about an hour to do that so I had plenty of time to make the run longer. The next stop was the World War II Memorial. 

Then I turned left and ran up to the base of the Washington Monument. 

This is the view from the Washington Monument looking down at the WWII Memorial and then the Lincoln Memorial past that. The weather had been trying have a thunderstorm that never quite happened but it made a spectacular sunset.

Are you jealous yet? Just wait, it gets even better. I then ran down and found a path that followed the tidal basin opposite of the Jefferson Memorial. I could see people all along the water to the memorial so I started down the path. 

I went over a bridge and the path continued around to the Jefferson Memorial. The group wasn't there yet and I was close to getting three miles so I kept going until I got to the FDR Memorial. I didn't stop to take pictures because there was a ton of tour groups and it was crowded. I turned around and headed back to the Jefferson Memorial.

I walked about a 1/2 mile to cool down and then I asked a very nice lady if she would take my picture. 

I think the smile says it all. I had so much fun! I had a great run in spite of the heat and humidity. I got to take amazing pictures along the way. I can't really explain why it was so important to me or why I got emotional when I was done. Other than I tend to get emotional about stuff so that really wasn't a surprise.  This run just was special and I'm very glad I could do it. 

Here's a map of the route:

And here are my splits. The first time I stopped to take pictures I forgot to pause it so I think the average pace was better than it showed. But either way it was a good run and wasn't as hard to do as I thought it would be. Here are my splits:

I'm still smiling. :) 

We head out for NYC in the morning. I wonder if I could get a run in Central Park? Hmmmmm :)

I'm posting this from my iPad so hopefully the formatting isn't funky. ;) 

Making Me a Priority? How???

The last couple of weeks have been crazy!  I have been going full steam with all the end of the school year activities.  This is always a busy time of year when you are a teacher.  The combination of wrapping up projects and units combined with trying to maintain order with a bunch of students who have already mentally started Summer Vacation.  Add to that, end of the year report cards, getting the room ready for summer so the custodians can clean floors and it is a bit chaotic.

Both of my oldest kids are in choir at their schools.  They both had end of the year concerts the last few weeks.  The one on May 30th was for all the choirs in Albany from the middle schools up to the community college.  My son sings in the community college choir and my oldest daughter sings in the high school choir.  The concert was called "Albany Sings" and it was amazing.  I was so impressed with the quality of singing from all the schools.  The middles schools sang beautifully in four part harmony and held their own with the big kids.  Our little town has some very dedicated and talented music teachers who are able to push the kids further than they probably realize.  My oldest daughter had a solo and was amazing.  I'm so proud of her.  Bri is in the choir robe on the left.  :-)

I then spend May 31-June 2 up at our camp site getting it ready for the summer and fullfilling our duties as camp host for the season.  It was a lot of work but it will be worth it later when we get to go up and camp.  I also did a lot of grading of papers trying to get caught up so that the kids would have one last shot at getting missing work in before the end of the year.  

The last full week of school was a busy one.  The students are all squirelly and have a hard time staying focused.  Many are not happy about school being out and their behavior gets worse and worse the closer we get to summer vacation.  Breaks my heart a little bit.  

My son had a concert on Thursday of that week and it was awesome.  He had a solo with his acapella group and looks so comfortable on stage.  I love watching both my kids perform because they just look like they are having a blast.  

Friday began the craziness of preparing for Bri's graduation party.  Shopping, food prep, cleaning, more food prep, more cleaning.  I was a busy lady!  I made two HUGE pork roasts for pulled pork and a variety of fruits and veggies to have out to nibble on.  

To say my refridgerator was full is an understatement!  The party was a ton of fun and the graduate had a good time.  She doesn't generally like being fussed over but does understand that sometimes other people who love her need to fuss over her a little.  So every once in awhile she lets us.  :-)

Monday was the 8th Grade field trip.  We took the students to Oregon State University.  The Memorial Union has a bowling alley and other activities in the basement.  We reserved the whole area and let them loose.  They had a blast.  Then we loaded up and went to a park and had pizza and let them play basketball, football, frisbee or just hang out.  The weather was perfect and they had fun there too.  I came home and took an hour and half nap.  I was pooped!

Tuesday was the graduation.  By the time I got home I had enough time to change my clothes, fix my hair and then take off.  Graduation started at 6:30 and we got done about 9:00.  Lots of speeches, the choir sang and then the kids crossed the stage to get their diplomas.  Bri got an honors diploma and was the second to the last to cross the stage.  One of the school board members is a friend of ours so he jumped up and made sure he was the one presenting her with her diploma and he gave her a hug instead of just of a handshake.  It was fun to watch!  Can't believe my little girl is out of high school.  It seems like she just started kindergarten.

Wednesday was the last day of school.  We had field day and then the kids signed yearbooks and t-shirts.  It was another amazing day.  I had several students come tell me that the loved my class.  It made me laugh because I was just sure that some of them hated me because I pushed them to do better all the time.  :-)  School was out at 1:30 and I spent the afternoon working on grades.  Then I went to dinner with a bunch of the teachers from school.  After dinner we went to the 8th Grade Promotion.  (No, it's NOT a graduation!)  They were so excited.  It was fun to be part of their special day.  What a great bunch of kids.  They are going to do great in high school.  By the time I got home it was almost 9:00 p.m.

Thursday was grading day.  I had a list of end of the year things to do in order to check out for the summer.  On top of that I had to pack up and move all my stuff into a new class room.  Luckily my youngest daughter came along and helped me out.  We got it all moved into the new classroom.  I will go in later and start organizing and putting things away in their new proper spot.  By the time we got done it was after two.  I took Meighan to lunch to thank her for helping me.  When we got home it was about 4:00 and I laid down on the couch and I was OUT!  I slept for over two hours.  I think I would have slept longer but my phone got a text and it woke me up.

Today I am leaving for Washington DC/New York City with fourteen 8th graders.  So I was getting ready for the trip all day.  I started with a massage.  Wow, did that feel good.  I was one tense lady and it felt so good to have all the kinks worked out.  Then I had to get a pedicure with the other teacher who runs the trip with me.  After that it is shopping, going to the bank (twice because I forgot to get cash for our lunch and dinner allotments for one of the days of the trip) and packing.  My hubby is getting ready to take me out to the school so we can get going on the trip.

I tell you all about my crazy couple of weeks because I want to know.  How do I make time to exercise when I have so much going on.  I get really frustrated when things are crazy like this because I feel like I have so much to do and a limited amount of time and energy to get it done.  Something has to give.

Excuses, Excuses

Evidently my faithful followers like to hear about when things are not going well.  I get more views to my blog on days where I'm whining or complaining than I do on the days where I'm celebrating something.  lol  Cheer up people!

That being said, I'm going to be honest here.  The last month has been a real struggle for me.  I finished the Eugene Half and got my PR and then I kind of fizzled.  For a couple of weeks I kinda/sorta got out and ran but not a real concerted effort.  Then I sprained my ankle.  I used that as an excuse as well and didn't make an effort at all.  Here's how much of a difference I had in my running.  For the month of April I totalled 69.5 miles.  For the month of May I totalled 22.4!  I ran more than that in one week when I was training.  Yikes! 

Here are some of my excuses (and I fully acknowledge that they are just excuses!):

• I have really been struggling with being tired.  It has been a struggle all along but last month it was bad.  I would come home, sit down and fall asleep. 
• The last full month of school begins to be a bit crazy.  The behavior problems go on the rise and it takes a considerable amount of energy to keep pushing kids to do and be better all while maintaining an encouraging smile.  Why do kids act out at the end of school?  Because a lot of them really don't want it to be summer.  The lose the only consistent, stable adults they have in their lives until next fall.  Heartbreaking. 
• There was quite a bit of warm, actually down right hot, weather last month.  I hate running in the heat.  I will do it because I know that I need to for my training for Cascade Lakes Relay.  But I really don't like it!!  Add the heat to the tired and there was NO motivation to going out for a run. 
• I sprained my ankle.  It hurt.  I probably could have run on it sooner but after standing in front of the classroom all day it was all swollen and hurt.   
• My classroom is the hot sauna room from H-E-double toothpicks!  I start out the day warm and by the last period we are all melting. 
• So, I'm tired, the weather is hot, my classroom is hot, my foot is swollen and I'm tired.  Not a good combination for being motivated to go out and create a healthier me. 

I would rather eat a cookie (or two, or three....).

So yesterday, I fiddle farted around after I got home.  Then I put on my running clothes and fiddle farted some more.  I didn't want to go.  I knew it was going to be ugly.  It was another hot day, I haven't been running like I should.  I'm going to be slow AND it's going to hurt.  I finally decided to suck it up and go.  I went for a three mile run. Actually I went for a two mile run and a one mile walk.  Actually I went for a one mile run, a run mile SLOW, barely can be called a jog, jog and a one mile walk.  The first mile wasn't horrible.  Slow but doable.  The second mile was tougher.  My body was telling me to quit and go home and my brain was telling my body to suck it up.  I pushed through the second mile but then my calves started getting really tight and hurting so I walked the last mile.

I figure this week is about reminding my body that I really am a runner and I can do this.  I've been doing it.  It really is amazing how quickly you lose ground when you quit.  This isn't ever going to be about reaching my goal weight and then quitting.  This is absolutely about having a new lifestyle that I keep for my whole life.  No magic pill, no magic shake.  I just have to get out and do something.  If I don't than the only change I'm going to see is my waistline getting bigger.

Why is it I know all this and I still have an ENTIRE month go by where I can't get motivated?  I feel like I'm starting all over.  I'm right back where I was at Christmas.  I know that I'm not.  I haven't lost that much ground or put on a ton of weight.  This is more in my head.  I guess I need to go back to searching for my droids (see this post to know what I'm talking about :-): http://runninginplaceandgettingnowherefast.blogspot.com/2013/02/these-arent-droids-you-are-looking-for.html). 

Today I have our last meeting to get ready for the 8th grade DC/NYC trip that leaves on the 14th.  I have been running right after school but right before the meeting.  Since it is 80 degrees outside I have decided to run after the meeting, in the evening when it cools down.  I'm anticipating another yukky run because my body will be not happy that I'm out torturing it again.  Oh well.  My head and my heart will rule the day.

A few hours later....

The run was terrible.  Not because my legs hurt.  I didn't have any cramping or tightness at all.  I got a headache during my meeting.  When I got home I took some Advil and sat on the couch for about 30 minutes and it felt much better.  So I changed my clothes and started on my run.  The throbbing of my head coincided with the the bouncing of the run.  It wasn't good.  I made it over 2 miles tonight.  They were slow miles but I got them done.  By then my head hurt so bad that I wanted it to just fall off of my neck so I walked the last mile again.  I'm trying to focus on the fact that I went out there.  Today is one of those days where it's hard to have a good attitude.  The only good thing about it this run was that I went.

I have to swim tomorrow.  Next run is supposed to be on Friday.  We shall see how it goes.  Definitely feel like I'm running in place and getting nowhere fast tonight.