Getting Faster...for me anyway. :-)

This was my last full week of vacation before heading back to work.  As usual it was packed full.  I don't know when the relaxing portion of my summer break was supposed to happen but I'm pretty sure I missed it.

Last Saturday I was supposed to do a 7 mile long run.  Nothing too terrible and I wasn't too worried about it.  About a mile and a half in the upper part of my right calf started hurting.  Not just getting tight but actually hurting.  It felt like someone with really sharp nails was digging into my leg.  I stopped and stretched for a bit trying to get it to go away and then started off again.

I tend to go on my long runs on country roads and there are several very good reasons for this.  The first is that on a Saturday in a smaller city the odds of many, many people I know driving by and seeing me jiggling down the road are high.  I would rather avoid that if possible.  Second, if I go out in the country then I usually can't weenie out and cut the run short.  Once I'm out and about there really is no short cuts.  If I turn back I'm far enough away I have a long run, if I keep going then, yay!, I got my long run.  It's a win/win for me.  Although sometimes I don't see it that way at the time.  This run was one of those times.

I struggled on for awhile longer but the pain in my calf just kept getting worse.  I decided to walk because I really didn't want a severe injury.  Luckily the pain was only when I was running so I was able to keep moving.  I decided to keep going my route but I texted my husband, who had been doing a trail run after work, that if he was home I wouldn't argue with being picked up.  Otherwise I would keep walking.  He didn't respond so I figured he was still out on the trail and I would just keep moving.  Walking was good for another couple of miles.  At this point I have at least two and a half miles before I get home.  I decided I would try running again because I just wanted to get home.  If I ran I would be there faster.  But my calf protested quite loudly and I listened and went back to walking.  Unfortunately, now my calf was getting really tight.  It didn't hurt like it did when I ran but it was really uncomfortable and was getting worse as I walked.

I had just gotten to mile 5 when I got a text from my hubby saying that he was back in town and was heading my way.  When he caught up with me I had gone 5.5 miles, 3.5 of that walking.  As soon as I got into the truck I started to cry.  My leg hurt and I was so frustrated about how things went.  I tend to keep things going until I'm done and then fall apart.  Saturday was no exception.  I have never, not even at my heaviest and slowest, had to have my husband come and rescue me from a run.  It sucked!  I felt totally demoralized and defeated.  I had the "Why do I even bother?" mentality.  I tend to wallow for awhile when I go there.  Joe gets very frustrated with me when I do that and usually does a little ass-kicking to get me to "knock it off" as he puts it.  :-)

He posted this picture on my Facebook wall this week.  Point taken honey!  :-)

Taken from "Girls on the Run" Facebook page.  :-)

Sunday I went on a fabulous trail hike at Silver Falls State Park.  I took Goober #3 and we went with our amazing friends Josh and Wendie.  The weather was perfect and we got there early enough to beat the crowds.  By the time we finished there were a lot of people on the trails and the parking lot was packed!  If you are ever in the Great Northwest and want an amazing park to visit, Silver Falls is the place to go!  It is beautiful all year round and has been one of my very favorite place to go pretty much my entire life.   There are 10 falls in total if you do the entire loop, although some of them are only going during the winter.  It is worth the drive and the hike!!!  Here's a link to check it out:

http://www.oregonstateparks.org/index.cfm?do=parkPage.dsp_parkPage&parkId=151

Goober #3 did awesome!  I don't know if I'm more proud of the fact that she did it or that she didn't whine at all.  Not even a little bit.  And she was dragging the last couple of miles but she kept at it and got it done.  She is amazing and I love, love, love that she is active AND hanging out with her momma.  :-) 

The hike felt good and my calf didn't hurt at all.  By the end it was tight but that is way better than actual pain.  :)

Monday I decided to take a rest day to let the calf heal a bit.  Tuesday's run was excellent.  I had to go four miles and since the calf wasn't hurting at all I pushed it just a little.  I had a good run that had an average pace of 12'19 which is super speedy for that distance for me.  I looked up my average pace for a four mile run in January and it was 15'00.  I'd say I have improved a bit since January.  :-)

Wednesday I went for a swim and then a bike ride.  The swimming is getting better.  I'm think I can do the 750 yards at the triathlon in about 30 minutes.  I have to get out of my comfort zone on the bike.  I keep doing the same route because it is all right turns.  I don't have to get into traffic and there is little elevation.  I am going to have to get some longer distance in and some elevation.  The triathlon route has us going over the freeway twice on overpasses that, you guessed it, go up.  I'm going to have to do it sometime and I really should do it before the triathlon.  I'm going to do the triathlon route next weekend.  I hope.  :-)

Thursday was a rest day.  Yay for rest days, even though when I'm trying to lose weight I often want to skip rest days because more is better, right?  

Friday I was supposed to run three miles.  The first mile and a half was really good.  I did the first mile in 12 minutes and was on pace to do the same for the second mile.  I got to one and a half miles and then my calf decided that I needed to stop.  I had that same pain that I had on Saturday.  It sucked!  So I walked the mile and a half home.  I didn't want to risk getting injured and I really wanted my long run to go better than last weeks long run.

That brings us to Saturday.  I was supposed to go 7.5 miles.  I took off and tried to start out slow because this is a bit of a distance and because I really work hard on my long runs to have negative splits.  If I start out too fast then that makes it really hard to keep going faster every mile.  I felt like I was going slow.  I was trying to go slow.  Evidently slow is now a new speed.  My first mile was 12'53.  Huh.  I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get negative splits with that as my starting speed but overall I did really well.  The only mile I didn't get a negative split was mile 4.  I think this was because just before I started over the overpass I had to stop because a very large tractor was rumbling over the overpass coming at me and it was driving right down the middle of the road.  There is virtually no shoulder on the overpass so I am really glad that I wasn't on it when the tractor was on it too.  So I had a gain of 34 seconds on mile four.  But I gained back that 34 seconds on mile 5.  Then suddenly my calf was hurting again.  It must be getting better because it took longer before it started hurting.  So I stopped the run and then walked home.  I took the direct route home so I got a 1.3 mile walk in after my run.  While it wasn't an ideal run because I didn't get my distance in it wasn't terrible either.  

The five miles that I did run were excellent for me.  I was thinking about how my first mile I thought I was going slow and it ended up being under 13 minutes.  I was thinking about how since I started back with running in January I have had it a couple of times where I have taken a big jump in my speed.  It's almost like I can tell that my speed is faster overall because my "slow" pace is faster than it used to be.  I've just clicked down another notch.  Feels good.  :-)

Today I went for a 5 mile hike and it felt really good.  I usually feel like it takes everything in me just to keep up with the rest of the group.  The only time I felt that way today was when we were almost to the top of the hill.  Love feeling improvements.  Even if it's only in little ways.  

This week I go back to work. This means no more running when I wake up, whenever that might be, and then taking a nap when I get done.  :-)  Now it will be running after work and then going straight to bed.  lol  

Mr. Expert...Not So Much. Lol

So I'm sitting in the Portland Airport on August 4th, the day after the Cascade Lakes Relay.  I had flown in from Redmond and was waiting for the rest of my group to head down to San Diego for a training for teachers that my school is getting involved in.  As I'm sitting there a big group of teachers show up from another school district.  They were heading to the same training that I was going to.  I ended up with people sitting on either side of me and they were talking around and over me.  I was reading a book and not getting too involved in their conversations.

Until the show off started talking.  You know the show off.  Everyone knows one.  Always bragging about what he or she is doing or how good they have already done something.  And not in way that is just saying "Hey, I'm proud of myself for doing that." But more like "Hey, you suck because you can't possibly be as cool or studly as I am."

First he starts out by talking about how he is going to sign up to do an Ironman.  Not that he has signed up or even knows which Ironman he wants to do.  Just that his next big thing is an Ironman.  He is bragging about how tough it will be and how it won't really be an issue for him because he is in such great shape.  Now I will admit the guy was very fit.  He was slim and because he was wearing shorts I could see that his calf muscles were well defined like a runner/biker.  He was only about 5'10" and when he walked around he definitely had that "look at me" swagger.  At this point I'm enjoying the conversation just because my husband not only actually signed up for an Ironman but he did one.  This guys is just all brag as far as I can tell.

Then he starts talking about the Cascade Lakes Relay.  You know, the relay race that I had just finished the evening before.  He is telling the guy sitting on the other side of me that he also plans to be part of the Cascade Lakes Relay next year.  He thinks that he should have no problem finding people to be part of the 150 mile relay race.  Now I have to say something.  lol  Nope, can't just sit there and ignore the conversation anymore.  I look over at the guy and say "Actually, the relay was a total of 216.6 miles long."  Oh no, Mr. Expert on everything has to argue with me.  He is positive that the relay is 150 miles.  He tells me that in a condescending tone.  Poor little fat girl, what would I know about a relay race?   He then proceeds to continue talking over me to his friend about the relay.

By this time his friend has realized that I am wearing the finishers shirt from this years relay and gives me a big smile.  I look at the Know it All and say again that I know for sure the race is 216.6 miles long because I just did it.  Then he gives me the look.  He looks me up and down and the look on his face is "Ya right lady, I don't think so."  I point out my shirt and say that my team just did our third CLR.  I ran 15 miles this year, the longest was 7.5.  I didn't tell him that I got sick during the second leg and my pace sucked or that I was the slowest person on the team.  He didn't need to know that part.  lol  I proceed to tell his friend where the race starts and ends and how much it was.  He was totally cracking up that I was able to take the wind out of the other guys sails.

At this point I spotted the rest of my group sitting somewhere else so I decided to go join them.  I didn't say anything else as I walked away but in my head I wanted to tell "Mr. Expert" that MY husband actually is an Ironman.  :-)  But that seemed a bit snarky so I refrained.  :-)

99% of the time the runners are the best.  Encouraging and supportive whether you run a 16 minute mile or a 6 minute mile.  I have not met many people like this guy.  I'm sure they are out there but they probably are done and home by the time I finish my race so they aren't part of my experience.

I have joined a Facebook community page called Favorite Run Community.  I love this page!  People ask questions or just post what they are doing.  The comments are funny and encouraging.  Tonight I posted about my run today.  I ran three miles and got another run with an average pace of 12'42".  That's two runs that had an average pace of under 13 minute miles.  I was stoked!  And I had negative splits with my last mile being my fastest.  In a very short amount of time I had over 30 likes and about 10 comments.  For a stranger!  All encouraging and excited for me.  I look on that page and see people posting results of 9 minute miles and they are excited for me doing a sub 13 minute mile?  What a great community to be a part of!!

Run on the left was today.  I worked hard but felt pretty good when I was done.

Run on the right was in January.  It was slow and I'm pretty sure that I was slightly miserable.  About all that was good about that run was that I finished it.  :-)

My splits from the January run.  Ugh!

My splits from today's run.  Awesome!!  :-)

I think the guy at the airport would have really irritated me in January because I would have felt like I deserved the condescending look.  The look that says there is no way this person could do anything that physical.  But the person I am today is not the person I was 8 months ago.  I am stronger, leaner and yep, faster.  Not where I want to be by any stretch of the imagination but I'm heading in the right direction!  It sure helps to have people in my life who cheer me on and a God that loves me and wants what's best for me.  :-)

It's good to look at back and see how far I've come.  It helps keep things in perspective when I get frustrated because the weight isn't coming off as fast as I want or the speed isn't where I want it to be.  At least I'm heading in the right direction.  :-)

Cascade Lakes Relay 2013

Another Cascade Lakes Relay is done.  This was my third time participating in this race.  I had big goals for this one and I accomplished some and not others.

The Cascade Lakes Relay is a 216.6 mile relay race through Central Oregon.  It starts at Diamond Lake and works its way north to Bend.  Each team has 12 members, except for ultra teams that have 6.  We had 12.  :-)  Each member of the team runs three legs of the relay.  The total distance for each runner varies.  The legs are different lengths and different difficulty levels.

Last year we were Van #2 and I had a 3.9 mile-Easy, 3.1 mile-Easy and a 4 mile-Very Hard.  The first and last legs were in the afternoon and it was HOT!  The last leg had 1,000 feet of elevation gain.  I wasn't in the best running shape because I was really struggling with the tired factor and motivation last summer.  My best leg was the night one in the middle because it was cold but even that run wasn't great with an average pace of almost 14 minute miles.  My worst leg was the last one.  Between the hill, the elevation and the heat I just couldn't run any of it.  The last two years I walked the entire thing.  It really sucked.

So I was really looking forward to this year and having some improvements.  I have been much better with my training this year and I have an inhaler which I was pretty sure was going to help me with my breathing in the higher altitude.

We switched van's this year.  Instead of being the second van to start we were going to be the first one to go.  I was excited about this because even though I would have longer legs the weather would be cooler when I ran.  I also had longer runs this year which I was excited about too.  I really wanted to feel like I was more of a contributor to the team.  This year I had a 7.5-Moderate, 5.3-Moderate, 2.09-Easy.  My goal was to run every step of all three legs and have an average pace that was 13'30" or less overall.

The first leg was long but all downhill.  I felt really good during the run.  Used my inhaler a couple of times and finished with an average pace of 12'46" which is excellent for me.  Especially for a run that long.  I was SO stoked!  I am still the slowest person on the team but this one run was better than any other leg that I have ever done in any other Cascade Lakes Relay.  What a great way to start off my 2013 relay.

Not all negative splits but a good result overall.  :-)

We finished up our first session in the van and headed back to the house to clean up and get a short (and I mean short) nap.  I showered and laid down on the bed but just couldn't sleep.  My head was hurting a little so I took some Advil and tried to rest.  It wasn't long before it was time to head back to the van exchange.  I was the last one to go for our van for the second leg.  All five of the legs before me were on dusty gravel roads.  The van bounced and jiggled for hours straight.  It pretty much sucked.  As bad it was in the van it was worse for the runners.  Dust from the vans going by the runners was terrible and it was just a miserable leg for everyone.  I was the only one who got to run on pavement.  My leg was shorter than the first but was a moderate run because it had elevation gain.  By this time the slight headache I had when we were at the house had turned into a raging headache that was making my stomach upset.  It was actually a relief to get out of the van and get fresh air while waiting for my turn to start running.  I had taken more Advil and some Tums while the others were running hoping to get things settled down before my turn but it didn't work.

I started out my second leg slower than leg one.  I knew I had elevation gains on this run and I didn't want to start out too fast and with my head hurting and stomach upset.  The first mile wasn't too bad but as the hill went up my head hurt more and my stomach felt worse.  I ended up getting sick three times on that run.  And since I hadn't eaten anything other than Tums since we were back at the house there wasn't much to come up.  I didn't say anything to my van when they checked in on me.  I didn't want my husband to try and talk me out of finishing my leg.  I had to walk a lot of the last two miles.  Every time I would try and run my head felt like it wanted to fall off it hurt so bad.  I finished with an average pace of 15'00".  I was so disappointed.  My great first leg made me think I was finally going to having an awesome CLR all the way through and now I was back to sucking it up.  It was really hard for me.  Once again, I felt like I let everyone down, just like when I walked up the big hill the last two years.

Running with a headache and upset stomach sucks!

We headed back to the house to shower and sleep.  I got chilled on the drive to the house.  Usually when we get back to the house we clean out the van of all the trash and empty water bottles.  I walked in the house, got to my room, took off my running clothes, put on my sweatpants and t-shirt, crawled into bed and fell asleep.  Two hours later my husband woke me up to head out for our last leg.  The hardest thing about CLR for me is the lack of sleep.  I kind of feel like I'm all ready working with a deficit in the sleep area going into the race because I'm always so tired.  It just gets ridiculous during something like this.  My headache and upset stomach weren't completely gone but way better than they had been when I went to sleep.  I had a very short run for my last leg so I was sure I could do it, maybe not well, but I could get it done.

My last leg was just 2.09 miles but was really beautiful.  I could go as fast as I had the first leg and I had to walk once and get sick again.  Strangely enough I felt WAY better after that so I was able to finish up my run.  It wasn't my best run but it wasn't my worst either.  I wasn't happy about it because it was so short I should have been able to run as fast a pace as I did the first leg.  It's so hard for me to focus on the positive instead of the negative when stuff like this happens.  My average pace was 13'36" which really is a decent run for me.  Except that last week at the beach I had a two mile run with a pace of under 12 minute miles and the first leg of the relay was 7.5 miles long with a pace under 13 minute miles.  Hard not to get frustrated when I know I could have done better.  But my husband got his grumpy face on because I was down on myself and pointed out that I kicked last years CLR's ass and to get over it.  lol Yes dear!

I have worked really hard at appreciating the things I see on my runs.  So even though I wasn't having a spectacular run speed-wise and I still didn't feel good I stopped to appreciate this amazing view.

Mt. Bachelor and Elk Lake along the Cascade Highway

After we finished up our last leg we went and cleaned up one more time and headed to the finish line.  This is the first time that we have been done and waited for the other van at the finish.  It was kind of fun.  It was beautiful out and they changed the course so that it ended in the Mill District on the Deshuttes River in Bend.  

The past two CLR's we participated we leap frogged.  This where your team does all the actual miles but you have more than one runner on the course at a time.  We did this so that we wouldn't finish way late and could get through the finish line before the shut things down.  This year we were determined to finish with a straight run.  No leap frogging, no putting two people on the course at once, just relay person to relay person until the end. 

I am very proud to say that our team not only finished in straight time but we rocked it!  Our final time was 33:08:43!  Thirty three hours of hills, heat, sweat, sickness, fun, and lots and lots of laughter! Average team pace was 9'17".  That tells you how fast everyone else on the team was.  :-)

I usually hate it at some point while I'm doing it but then I'm always ready to sign up and do it again next year.  :-)  Mostly because I know I accomplished something really, really difficult that a lot of people wouldn't even consider doing.  Most of my running is done as an individual and focuses on improving myself.  I don't usually even work out with anyone because all my friends and family that run are so much faster.  Being part of a team like this one is a great experience but also really hard for me because I'm so much slower.  I don't want to let anyone down.  I know that they want me there and are fully aware of my abilities but it still is hard for me.  (I know, I have whined about this before). 

But in the end, we are a team and we finish as a team.  That's pretty cool. 

Me and my Faylene at the end Cascade Lakes Relay!

Next up is the Last Chance Triathlon in October followed by the Runaway Pumpkin Half Marathon the  next week.  Hopefully the training will continue to do well and I will continue on my journey to a healthier me.  

I've been at a training in San Diego all week for school.  I go home tomorrow.  Thursday I will get back to my training.  I've got to stay in my routine so that when school starts I don't tank like I did last year.  

Still feel like I'm running in place but maybe, just maybe I'm going to start getting somewhere soon.  :-)

Running Clothes Make a Difference! :-)

Running clothes for larger women is a problem.  I recently went and bought some clothes at Sports Authority.  The biggest size they had was XL.  I have stuff at home that is that size so I bought it without trying it on.  Big mistake.  I could get it on but everything was so tight I felt like I was a can of biscuits ready to pop.

Then when Joe and I went looking for biking shorts, the kind with the padding.  :-)  The first bike shop we went to didn't have anything bigger than an XL.  I tried it on and I could get it on but again, not comfortable.  So we asked a gentleman who worked at the store if they had anything bigger.  He picked up a box that had liners you can wear under regular shorts.  The biggest size he had was XL but he kept assuring me that he could get them all the way up to size 4XL.  Now, I know that he was trying to help.  Joe's take on it was that he was trying to assure me that there were more sizing options with those liners.  My take on it was that he must have thought I was a huge ole hippo.  He didn't just say it once, he kept repeating that they went up to 4XL until I just wanted to yell at him to quit.  lol  Joe was probably right but if you are going to be working in a service industry that sells clothing you might want to learn how to be more diplomatic when talking to women about sizes.

The second bike shop we went to also didn't not have anything bigger than a XL.  However, this gentleman was much more diplomatic.  He was telling me that he doesn't understand why these companies that don't make clothes for athletes bigger than a size 12.  Sweet man.  Bigger than a size 12 covers a lot of sizes.  :-)  This store also does try to keep in stock 2XL but they were currently out.  Evidently they go fast.  I ended up buying some men's bike pants.  They work pretty good but could use a little more padding up front.  I really am looking forward to the day when I can get into a women's size that they have on the rack.  It's a little embarrassing to have a bigger size in men's than my husband.

Here are clothing options that I have found work for me when I run.

I get my sports bras at Target.  I like the C9 by Champion.  It goes all the way up to XXL and does a good job of keeping the girls contained without feeling like I'm getting strangled.  Also, it isn't too expensive and comes in all kinds of colors.  :-)

C9 by Champion at Target, $16.99

I recently found tank tops at Old Navy that I love.  A lot of running tops are form fitting.  This causes two issues for me.  First, I'm self-conscious about my rollies.  I have learned to wear what is comfortable for me and to not worry about it as much but that doesn't mean I like it.  The tank tops from Old Nave are loose and kind of flow around the waist.  They are called bubble tanks and are super comfortable.   They don't have the built-in bra but since I have a good sports bra that isn't an issue.

These tops go up to XXL.

I also got one of these compression tanks.  This one does have a built-in bra and is just a little more expensive.  I am going to have to take it back though cause it is a little too big in the bust area.  But I like how it feels when I have it on and I like how it looks on me.  I got an XXL but will exchange it for an XL.  :-)

I have had the best luck with running pants, Capri's and skirts at Costco.  You have to watch through the spring and summer for anything to show up.  And if I buy something that I take home and really like I generally go back and get more because you never know with Costco if you will ever see it again.  I have one pair of Capri's that are my favorite.  I wish I had gone back and gotten more.  :-(  I also have three running skirts because I did go back and get more of those.  :-)  The downside at Costco is that they only go up to size XL.  But they fit better on me than the XL clothes I got at Sports Authority so it just depends.  

Another thing that I have noticed, more in the summer cause it's hot, is that the clothes are comfortable when I head out, but they are tight when I get home.  I can't wait to get out of them because I'm back to feeling like I'm busting out of a can of biscuits.  I think this is because I swell up badly when I run in the heat.  But I don't notice it while I'm actually running.  I notice it when I stop so to me it's not too bad and I can deal with it.  

I wear Under Armor Compression shorts under my running skirts and Capri's.  It helps with the chaffing in areas that it is not fun to chaff.  :-)

Because the pictures of the clothing are all slender women I figured I really should have a picture of me wearing them.  Remember I don't like having my picture taken but I'm willing to sacrifice for my four followers.  :-)

Bubble tank, running skirt and compression shorts.  I just finished an 8 mile run!

I had a great run on the hills last Saturday.  For the first time EVER I was able to run the whole route without stopping.  This route has two miles of rolling hills.  Followed by a half mile really steep hill.  Then you get to go down for a bit and then you get a one and a half mile slow and steady hill that gets a a bit steeper at the top.  Then you get to finish up with a nice downhill.  Usually it is about 5 miles but we decided to take a little bit farther route and I ended up with 6.75 miles.  Probably should have tried to get the even seven miles.  But as soon as I got the car my body said DONE.  lol  Since I had run all the hills AND gone 1.75 miles farther than normal for that route I was okay with that.  

Conquering the hills in North Albany!

Tuesday I ran later in the morning.  I'm trying to get ready for Cascade Lakes Relay.  I really hate running in the heat.  I only went three miles but I felt slow and it was a struggle to run the whole thing.  About all I can say is that I got it done.  

Wednesday I went for a swim.  I usually swim for about 15 minutes and then use the kick board for the last 15 minutes to work on my stroke and breathing pattern.  This time I swam the entire time without the kick board and fins and got my 1/2 mile done in 30 minutes.  Which means that if I had to do the triathlon tomorrow I could do the swim portion in 30 minutes.  :-)  That's a good feeling.  Hopefully by October that will be faster.  

Then I went on my bike ride.  I went seven miles.  I felt pretty good for the first five miles but I just ran out of gas the last two.  Still, I didn't want to go out and swim or bike today so I feel like getting out the door was a victory.  

I decided to do my long run today instead of Saturday because we are going camping at the beach.  I didn't want to have to figure out where to go that I wouldn't get run over for a long run while camping so I got it done today.  It was a struggle.  I ran out of steam on about mile six.  Managed to run the whole 8 miles but it wasn't pretty.  I really struggled with my runs this week.  I hope that I don't struggle this way next week at Cascade Lakes Relay.  That would be really frustrating!  

Didn't get negative splits the whole way but did manage to suck it up for my last mile. :-)

I'm still not where I want to be with my weight or my speed.  But I'm so much farther than I was in January.  Trying to focus on that instead.  Some days that's easier than others.  This week has been hard in my head.  Maybe next week will be better.  :-)

I AM A RUNNER!

I am a runner!  Seems like an obvious thing at this point but I have had a hard time embracing this fact. I always make excuses and explain that I'm slow or can't run as far as my husband and our friends.  I have slowly been coming to the realization that I'm selling myself short.

I am a runner!  Me.  I go out and run.  Maybe not fast but I do it.  And I'm getting better at it and it feels good.

I AM a runner!  I really am.  Crazy to think about what I have accomplished the past few years.  When I started I could barely run the corners of the track, let alone run an entire lap.  While I may not be at the size/weight that I had hoped to be at this point, I have hit many other goals along the way that I am very proud of.

I am a RUNNER!  I run!  I don't sit on the couch.  I don't wish I could do races and get medals.  I am doing it.  I go out four or five days a week and I run.  Not only do I run but I run far!  I am doing things that four years ago I would have thought impossible.

If I measure all my success as a runner on my size/weight then I won't ever feel successful.  That is too narrow a measurement.

If I measure my success as a runner on the following things I have a much better (and rewarding) view:

• I love how I feel after a good run.  
• I love how I pick myself up after a bad run and try again the next day.
• I love how I feel at the end of a race.
• I really love how I feel at the end of a race that I get a PR.
• I love being able to share running with my husband.
• I love being able to share running with my friends who run too.
• I love that my husband, family and my friends cheer me on for all my accomplishments and pick me up when I'm struggling.
• I love that I can share my running, goal setting, setbacks and successes with my students and show them that running is a lot like life, not perfect but definitely an adventure. 
• I love running!  I don't always like getting going but I love the run and the feeling after so that balances it out.  

I have been working hard at not saying things like "I ONLY ran a 1/2 Marathon" or "I am so slow compared to everyone else."  I am finding that because I haven't been saying it out loud I haven't been as focused on it in my own head either.  Cascade Lakes Relay is coming.  It's only two weeks away.  I will be the slowest person on the team, as usual.  I have more miles to run this year and I'm excited about where I am in my fitness level compared to last year.  So the weight is about where I was last year during that race but I think I will be a better athlete this year.  And isn't that a kick in the pants to consider myself an athlete?  Part of the changing of how I see myself, in a good way.  :-)  I am very blessed to have teammates who want me to participate and are always encouraging and supportive of my efforts.  They have never done anything but make me feel like I should be there.  Gotta love it!

This week I have been adding other types of working out.  I am pushing myself outside of my comfort zone....again.  It's hard to try new things because I'm self-conscious about how I look when I am trying to do something and I can't do it right yet.

The bike riding has been fun.  More fun than I had anticipated.  Partly because it brings back so many memories of when I was a kid and I LOVED riding my bike.  :-)  Makes me feel young again.  I am really looking forward to doing the Last Chance Triathlon in October with my youngest goober.

I went to my very first yoga class this week.  My good friend is working on becoming a yoga instructor and is giving free classes to friends and family so she can practice teaching classes.  Goober #3 and I went last Monday and it was really fun.  I couldn't do half of the stuff that we were supposed to do.  But I worked up a sweat, tried everything and felt all loose and stretched out when it was done.  I really enjoyed it.  I'm going again next week.  :-)  A little jealous that the goober could fold herself up like a pretzel with no problem.  Oh to be young and limber!  :-)

This week I have ran 13 miles, done one yoga class, one water aerobics class and biked 7 miles.  All that just since Monday.  :-)  I have a long run to do tomorrow to finish out the week.

When I first started this blog I shared a blog post from a runner named Flint.  I have become a follower of Flint's adventures for a couple of reasons.  First of all, he is a runner who loves the community of runners.  And he includes everyone who laces up their shoes and goes out there as part of his community.  Secondly, Flint recently started on an adventure where he is traveling around in a fixed up camper van.  I have enjoyed reading about the getting ready part of the adventure and I am already loving the first few posts about what he's been up to so far.  If you get a chance check out his blog.  It's worth a read.  :-)  His post "Hey Fat Girl" has made the rounds on Facebook several times and he graciously let me copy it onto my blog last winter.   http://flintland.blogspot.com

All that to say, as my blogger friend Flint says:

Run Free  :-)

Swimming, Biking, Running...Sounds like a Triathlon

This has been a week full of struggles and setbacks for me.  It is always hard for me to start over.  Partly because I am mad at myself for losing ground.  I don't make that much ground so I really shouldn't put myself in a position to lose any.  And partly because my body really likes being lazy and complains loudly when I go back to convincing it that lazy isn't an option.

I have also added a new activity to my cross-training activities.  I am riding a bike.  My plan is to do a Sprint Triathlon next October.  Yikes!  I don't know why I start thinking I can do these things.  First problem with this plan, I don't have a bike.  Second problem with this plan, I haven't ridden a bike in over 20 years.  The mental picture I have of me on a bike is an overweight woman, one with a significant derriere, that is wobbling all over the road.  Isn't that a great mental picture for someone to have before trying something new?  It didn't exactly make me brimming with confidence.

I didn't want to buy a bike until I was a little more confident about the activity.  It would suck to spend a couple hundred dollars and then have the dumb thing sitting in the garage all the time.  My husband would just give me that look.  lol I don't like that look.  So we borrowed a bike from our friends since D is traveling for work and won't be using his for a few weeks.  A couple of weeks ago I walked over to their house with a bike helmet in hand and then rode the bike home.  I was a little wobbly at first but then I smoothed out.  Made it home without crashing into something or falling down.  That's a good start.

A week ago my husband looked at me and said, "Let's go!"  He took me for a bike ride.  We had to have a lesson on stopping cause the seat is so high that I can barely touch the ground so he showed me how to slow down and then slowly come off the seat and then stop and put a foot down at the same time.  It takes a bit of coordination that I'm pretty sure I did fabulously, when I was 14.  I'm a little bit wobbly when I stop but I'm getting better.  We did a loop that is about 5 miles and I played with gears and just got used to being on a bike again.  It was pretty fun.  I totally could remember what it was like to be a kid and be riding my bike with my brother and sisters.  We used to love riding our bikes around the neighborhood and would go around this big block that had a hill on the way back to the house.  Now I would have imagined that my derriere had enough padding that sitting on a bike seat wouldn't bother me too much.  I mean, I rode my bike all the time when I was a kid and I was a twig then.  No padding at all and I never remember my behind hurting.  I definitely could feel it by the end of our ride. I was trying to imagine sitting on a bike seat for 112 miles like Joe did for the Ironman.  No thank you!!

But I did it and I now know that I can do it again.  Gotta start upping the miles so that I will be ready for the triathlon.  :-)

So Sunday was the day of getting back into the routine of working out.  I went on a great hike with friends and my youngest goober.  We ran here and there but mostly walked but it was fun to be out doing something.  I enjoyed the friends, my kiddo and the beautiful Oregon scenery on the hike.  That's a pretty good way to start out a week of working out.  We went about 6.5 miles and had a great time.

Monday I got back in the pool and swam for 30 minutes.  It took awhile to get the rhythm back.  I snorted and sneezed water up my nose for quite a while.  I think I was trying to go to fast.  When I finally settled down and took my time it went much better.  I don't know how swimming is for most people but for me it is about the rhythm of my strokes and my breathing.  Overall the swim wasn't too bad but I could tell that I hadn't done laps for a few months.  Again with the starting over.  Grrrrr.

Tuesday I ran.  I went for a four mile run.  I went in the morning but evidently not early enough.  I was hot.  Everything hurt.  I wasn't breathing very well and I was going SO slow!  Starting over sucks!  Have I mentioned that yet?  My average pace was 14'02".  So slow compared to how I was doing in April.  I then walked another mile so that I could get the miles in that my training plan called for.  Wasn't going to be able to run that last mile.  It just wasn't going to happen.

Wednesday was the "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" 5K.  This is my fourth time doing this 5K.  It is the first race I ever did and I have done it every year since.  I was not looking forward to it this year at all.  I knew that I was not where I wanted to be in my running and that would make it a frustrating race for me.  Also, this race starts at 5:30 p.m. and it was hot.  This year it was about 85 degrees.  I really hate running in the heat.  The race started and took off WAY to fast!  My first half mile the Nike app informed me that I was running at a 10'30" pace.  Uh oh.  I can't maintain that speed on a good day.  I slowed down.  At the one mile mark I was going an 11'30 pace.  Well, I slowed down.  Just not enough!  Still going to fast and now I was having a hard time breathing.  I slowed down even more and used my inhaler.  I kept a more reasonable pace for mile two.  During mile 3 I started feeling nauseous. I had about a half a mile left when I had to start walking.  I would run a bit and then walk a bit.  It sucked!  The race finishes in Goss Stadium, which is the Oregon State University baseball field.  We run around the outfield and then run down the third base line and finish on home plate.  I ran the entire time I was in the stadium.  Finished in 41'43".  Not my worst time but not anywhere close to my best time either.  I was hot, I didn't feel good and I was grumpy with myself.  I know I can do better!  I did a 33 minute 5K in May for Pete's sake!

Thursday I went and did Water Aerobics.  In the summer they have a class at the outdoor kids pool in the current pool.  I did it a lot last summer and loved it and this was the first time that I could go this year.  My friend Maureen joined me and we had a blast.  The class is outside and the instructor plays music the whole time.  So I get to play in the water, listen to good music and work on my tan.  Pretty sweet way to get some exercise.  I like being able to do lunges and squats in the water.  I can work on doing them better than I can at home because if I fall down then I will just be in the water.  If I fall down at home it will hurt! lol

Today I decided to do my longer run.  I am supposed to do it on Saturday but we are picking Goober #3 up from camp at 9:00 a.m. and I would have had to get up ridiculously early to make that work.  And if I waited to do it after we picked her up it wouldn't happen.  I would find excuses not to do it.
I was out the door by 6:45 a.m. which meant it was much cooler than the runs I had done earlier in the week.  I made sure that I was starting out slow.  My goal was to get negative splits.  I do much better when I start out slow and work on getting faster every mile.  The first couple of miles didn't feel great but didn't feel awful either.  About mile 3 I felt it.  That really good rhythm that feels like you can just maintain that pace forever.  I haven't felt that for awhile so I was excited.  I was concentrating on my breathing and my posture and just enjoying the summer morning.  Every mile I was trying to go just a bit faster.  I reached the 7 mile point just around the corner from home.  I had a very good run and did a great job with the negative splits.

Love it when the last mile is the fastest!

When I got home I had a water bottle and Nugo bar.  Then I went for a bike ride with Joe.  We did the same route as last time, just a bit further.  It was pretty good.  I could tell that I had just done a seven mile run though so towards the end my legs were complaining loudly.  But I did it!  I'm using Runkeeper to track my bike rides and swimming.  I like that it has more activities than just running.  :-)

Bike ride!

Then I took a very long nap!  A very, very long nap.  I had sat in the recliner at first but I couldn't get comfortable.  And I also had gotten chilled.  I have that sometimes after a big workout.  It's really hot but I'm shivering.  I even had taken a hot shower.  I finally went and laid down in bed with all the covers and snuggled in.  Three hours later I emerged.  That felt soooooo good.  I love summer vacation!

So after a week of working out and lots of frustrations and complaints I finally had a good run.  (Thank you Joe for putting up with my whining!)  I feel like I've got my groove back a little.  I am a little worried about how I will do at Cascade Lakes Relay, not because of the distances I have to run but because of the heat.  I run my best at a temperature under 55 degrees.  Even 60 feels hot to me when I'm running.

Joe shared this video yesterday on Facebook and I wanted to share it here.  After a week of basically feeling sorry for myself, this video reminded me, once again, that I have it pretty good.

I had tears running down my face as I watched this.  What an amazing example of love and sacrifice.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me!

Some People are Jerks!

Time to get back into the groove.  No excuses anymore.  Graduation is over.  School is out.  Ironman is over.  I'm home.  Time to get at it.  Easier said than done.

During the last couple of months my running has been sporadic to say the least.  This is being kind.  I only ran 25 miles in June and only 22 miles in May.  Pathetic.  There is always a price to pay when I haven't been diligent and I'm paying that price now.

Yesterday I went out and did a three mile run/walk.  I ran the first half and walked the second half.  It was hot (already past 70 degrees at 8:30 in the morning) and I have a blister from the run I did last week in Coeur d'Alene.  But it felt good to be out there and doing something.

Today I was going to do better.  Go farther and keep a better pace.  I started out feeling pretty good.  Not super speedy but at a 13'30 average pace.  I felt good for the second mile as well.  It is a bit of an incline on the route I took but I was working through the kinks and the self-talk that wanted me to turn around and go home.

Then it happened.....

Usually I keep track of all the wonderful people that wave or give me thumbs up as I run.  I love that and it gives me a little boost every time it happens.  I feel like people are cheering me on for being out there and trying to get healthy.  I know that I'm not thin.  I know that things jiggle when I run.  But I'm doing something about it.  I can't help that it is taking forever and that progress is slow.  Better slow progress than no progress.  They tell us in teaching and parenting that it takes 100 compliments or positive comments to balance out ONE negative comment.  Why do we listen to the crap?  Today I did and it made me spiral into a crappy run and crappy day.

I was running and almost done with mile two.  I'm out on a country road by my house that is narrow so I keep the music low on my iPhone so that I can listen for cars.  I was feeling pretty good and was thinking I was going to be able to push it to five miles and run the whole thing.  I heard a truck coming up behind me and could tell it was slowing down.  I look over and there is a car load of young men in an old Bronco looking rig.  They have the windows rolled down and one guy has his head out the window.  He yells as they go by "Keep at it lady!  Your ass is still shaking!"  and then they all start laughing and roar off.

I know that I'm big.  I also know that things jiggle when I run.  Not as much as 6 months ago!  But because I was already working through negative self-talk this just tipped me over the edge.  I stopped running.  I walked.  And I cried.  I felt defeated and fat and that I should just go home because what is the point.  I haven't lost any weight during the last two months.  Why on earth did I ever think that I could do this?  I kept walking though.  I almost turned around when I saw a car in the distance parked on the side of the road.  I had the horrible thought that it might be the same boys and I would have to pass them again.  At that point I decided to keep going.  They may have gotten me to doubt myself and to walk but they were not going to keep me from going the route I had chosen.  Turned out it wasn't their car.  That was a relief.

The problem was that for the next 2.5 miles every time I started to run all I could feel was my butt jiggling.  I was so self-conscious about it I just couldn't bring myself to run.  I let those stupid boys win, dammit.  And I KNOW that they are the minority.  I KNOW that most people think it's great that I'm out there trying.  But dang it, it really hurt today.  The jerks won today.

I want my body to look like the effort I'm putting into it.  I want to see results.  Yes, I have been making gains but they are so slow compared to everyone else (it seems like).  I seriously want to smack the next person who says they started running and lost over 50 pounds in 6 months.  I wish!

So today I'm dealing with negative self-talk, frustration over slow progress and angry feelings toward a bunch of stupid boys that are idiots.

Tomorrow I will go out and run again because I'm not going to let myself or a bunch of stupid boys stop me from continuing.  The jerks won't win tomorrow!

Besides my husband told me that he thinks I'm doing great and he is the only opinion that really matters.  :-)

My quote for today.  Going to keep at it.  :-)