Secret Goals

This week was rough on the exercise front.  I didn't run, I didn't swim, I didn't even get my daily step goal on my Fitbit once all week.  The week before wasn't much better.

I don't know what was going on.  Last week it was a lot of busy things after work that made it hard to get to my own thing.  This week I had no energy on Monday or Tuesday.  Wednesday I was home alone and cleaned house and enjoyed the quiet.  Thursday I stayed late at work because I was going to have a field trip on Friday and needed to make lesson plans.  It always take so long to make lesson plans.  Maybe I am too detailed and provide too much to do but I know what I appreciated when I was subbing and try to do that for my subs.  Friday I got home and was on mom duty because my youngest was having friends over for a bonfire.  They had a great time.

Saturday I had a horrible day on the being healthy front.  I was going to go for a hike and I didn't go.  I had been up for part of the night with stomach cramps and feeling nauseous.  Not fun.  I was better in the morning but really tired.  I was a lazy slob all day.  I was in my robe for most of the morning and then in sweats and a t-shirt for the rest of the day.  I munched out on chips, crackers, popcorn and drank WAY too much soda.  I was in full on "Poor Me" mode about diet and exercise and how do I handle it?  By not exercising and eating crap all day.  Ugh!!

So this morning I picked myself up by my bootstraps, gave myself a good shake and got moving.

I went early because I have plans later in the day with a friend.  And because I figured that if I got going early I would have less time to talk myself out of going.  I had planned to go to the Saddle and either take the road route up to Dimple Hill which would give me a little over five miles or do the Vineyard Loop with would give me over 6.5 miles.

Once I parked and got all situated I decided to go the Vineyard Loop.  I felt I needed the distance to make up for yesterday's gluttony.

Because I hang out with so many kick ass people I am sometimes hesitant to share some of my day to day goals with them because they seem like they would be easy for them.  Part of that whole comparing thing that I'm working on.  Races I have signed up for and other things I share because it's good to be held accountable on the journey to get to those races and events.  But sometimes I have things I want to try or do along the way that I just keep to myself.  No one would make fun of me but I don't want the pressure of someone asking me if I have done it yet.

I have had a secret goal about this route for quite awhile.  I wanted to run the whole thing, no walking.  That doesn't seem too hard, I've run that far before.  But there are quite a few hills and I usually walk up the hills and run down the other side.  I haven't told many people about this goal because I think it won't happen for a very long time.

Today I was alone and I decided to start working on running up the hills and see how I could do.  The direction I started has a hill for about 1.5 miles.  It's not super steep (none of the hills on this route are) but it feels like it goes on forever.  I focused on keeping my core straight and my breathing steady.  I also took shorter, bouncy steps.  This was suggested by my Ironman husband.  I figure he knows a thing or two.  I also looked at the ground and where my feet were going instead of up ahead at the road.  Otherwise I would start freaking myself out about how far I had to go.

Running up this hill was a big deal for me.  I'm pretty sure that I can hike fast at about the same pace that I was running but I don't care.  The point for me was that I was trying and I kept going.

There were a couple of times that I needed to stop and let my heart rate slow a bit.  But I didn't walk when I did that, I took some pictures instead.  I only gave myself about 30 seconds and then I would take off again.  I didn't want to walk when I let my heart rate go down because that would mean I didn't run the whole thing (in my own mind anyway.)  It's one of the nice things about going alone, I don't have to worry about holding anyone up if I just stand for a bit instead of moving along.   Lot's of wildflowers were blooming along the road.  So beautiful!

Just a few of these are blooming but next week they are going to be everywhere!

All the purple in this picture is the flower that's in the picture above.  The picture doesn't do it justice.  It was beautiful!

I was pretty happy when I got to the top of that first hill.  One and a half miles and I ran the whole way up.  Slower than slow but I did it.  Now I know that I have a bunch of downhill for quite awhile so I'm going to enjoy it while I can and I pick up the pace.

I keep working on my breathing and my posture.  I know that this will help me be a better runner if I can learn to be consistent in both of these areas.  Considering how my abs feel right now I think that I did good because I'm a bit sore in more core area.

The forest is greener every time I hike.  All the ferns and grasses are filling in the ground so that it is just a blanket of green with little pops of color where the wildflowers are blooming.

The last three miles of this route is a lot of up and down.  Not super long hills but enough of them that it is work.  I kept going and each time I got to the top of another hill I was happy because I knew that I was doing my best run out there that I have ever done.  But it was also getting harder.  I was struggling with my breathing and heart rate and my legs felt like they were weighed down.  I almost started walking.  I could have and I still would have been pretty happy because I ran more of the route than I had ever done before (including the big hill at the start).  Somehow I just wanted to balance out yesterday's yucky day with a kick ass day.  I needed to prove to myself that I CAN do things that I set my mind to, even if it is really hard.

The last half mile was brutal.  I had to stop at least three times to catch my breath.  I really wanted to quit and walk.  At one point I was where I could see the cars parked at the saddle and had stopped to put the leash on the dog.  I almost walked that last little bit.  How ridiculous is that?  I run over six miles and all those hills and I almost gave up in sight of the car.  It makes me appreciate my friends who ran the Mac Forest 50k last weekend.  They ran this trail and a whole lot more.  Ugh!  lol

I sucked it up and trotted up the last little bit to the gate.  I was so happy to see that gate!!  I was so happy that I kept pushing.

I can't believe my average pace was under 14!  Woo hoo!!

I even got one mile under a 12 minute pace!  (It was downhill! lol)

After my Black Butte hike I was talking with Joe about my concerns for Cascade Lakes Relay.  I think I am going to be solid on the running (as long as I don't have too many more weeks where I don't get any runs in).  But how do I train for the elevation and troubles I have with breathing?  It's not like I can drive to higher elevations every weekend to practice.  Although I kind of wish I could.  Joe suggested that I push harder on my trail runs and hikes.  That by getting faster and stronger here I will do better during CLR.  I won't be as fast as I am at home but I will make that slow faster than it would be otherwise.

I think that was in the back of my mind when I started out this morning.  I really want to kick ass at CLR this year.  When I say kick ass I mean kick ass for me.  I can't keep up with the rest of my team, they are speedy people!!  But I don't want to feel like such a detriment to the team.  A team full of marathoners, ultra runners, crossfitters and Ironman....and me.  :-)  Trying hard to keep up.

I am going to have to think about how to get my work outs in despite being tired.  I also have a wonderful daughter who spent a lot of this year not asking to have friends over because of my homework situation.  Now she is making up for lost time and I don't blame her.  Don't want to replace homework with workout so that she never feels like her friends can come over.  I will have to think about how to balance that.  And my hubby is ramping up the training for Ironman Canada.  If he isn't working out he is resting or working.  That leaves more of the general chores for me to do because he just doesn't have the energy (which I TOTALLY get).  Just makes it hard to feel like I can go do my thing when there is a ton of laundry or the kitchen is a disaster.  It is such a wife thing to feel like I have to put the housework before my workouts.  Not sure what to do about that.  If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to share!!  I will take all the help I can get.

Today was a good day.  Helps balance out the crappy day and I'm holding onto any good days I get to help keep me from having crappy days too often.

This is something I am really working on in my head.  It's a journey so there are bound to be bad days.  

I have a few other secret goals that I want to try at some point or another.  Not sharing yet but the possibilities are endless.  :-)