Sunday, December 14, 2014

Happy Where I'm At!

Today I went on a hike.  Not a terribly difficult route.  It's just under 7 miles on an old logging road.  Nice and wide which makes it fun when there is a group because we can all walk together side by side.  It was my friend Tony's birthday.  He had gone on a run earlier and timed it so that he finished his run so he could join us on the hike.  We also had Josh, Wendie and Wendie's cousin Holly.
I originally had planned to leave the puppy at home.  But she got so excited when I put on my running clothes that I just didn't have the heart to put her in her kennel.  Talk about a happy puppy!  She has done really well with her training the past year.  The only problem has been occasionally being stubborn about coming when we call.  Working with my trainer, we got her a shock collar and had a lesson on how to use it properly.  Wow!  It has worked miracles!  I decided to put the shock collar on her and let her try a hike off leash.  That way I had a little back up if she decided to take off.

Bailey did awesome!  She stayed on the trail we were hiking on.  She stayed in sight the whole time.  She ran around in circles, ran ahead and then back and basically had a great time.  So much more fun than her pulling on the leash the whole time.  When there were other runners or bikes I would call her and have her heel next to me, still off leash, and she was awesome!  Several times we met people with dogs and she said hi to the other dogs but then came when I called her.  I was super proud of how well she did.  My little puppy is growing up fast!  :-)
First off leash hike!  She was AWESOME!
At one point in the hike I had stopped to adjust Bailey's collar and got a ways behind the group.  This was towards the end of the hike, around mile five, and we were walking uphill.  I just didn't have the energy to run to catch up.  In the past this would have really frustrated me and discouraged me.  However, even though I haven't been running or hiking for several months, I've been thinking about my running and exercise in general.
I know that I made the right choice to take a break and focus on my grad school classes.  The classes have been very stressful this fall and a lot of work.  So, I'm walking quite a ways behind the group and thinking about where I was a year ago and where I am now.  A year ago I had been doing really well on my running and was getting faster.  But I had just started taking a new medication to deal with my pre-diabetic symptoms and it didn't make me feel good.  Plus I was pissy about having to take the medication in the first place so I didn't have a great attitude about it.   I was in my first semester of grad school.  I was tired all the time, not losing weight and in general just frustrated.

This year I am getting ready to start my last term of grad school after the holidays. (YAY!) I have adjusted to the medication and I'm not pissy about it (most of the time).  I have hopes that I can get to a point where I have lost enough weight and my exercise is consistent that I can quit.  Today is not that day and I'm okay with it.  I haven't been running but I have been making sure I get my 10,000 steps in every day on my Fitbit.  Luckily I have a job where I stand a lot and I move around my classroom a lot and sometimes I walk around the halls at lunch to get more steps in.  We ran today and for everyone else it was just an easy jog.  I was okay but I couldn't have gone much faster and we were only going about a 14' mile pace.  I have some rebuilding to do once I start hitting the pavement again.  Today is not that day and I'm okay with it.
Getting kisses from my sweet puppy!  So in love with this dog!  :-)
I guess what was great about today was that instead of getting mad at myself for where I am not, I was happy about where I am.  I have amazing friends that encourage and support me and constantly remind me that I need to work on MY journey.  I watched them walking ahead of me, talking and laughing and I felt blessed!  These were some of my people and they didn't care that I was slow.  They were glad I had come along.  They weren't annoyed (I hope) by my silly dog running around them.  They thought she was doing great.  So today, for once, I was able to go on a hike and not beat myself up because I couldn't do more, go faster, do better.  I was content with where am right now.
Ice Storm and then Wind Storm.  Lots of damage but it was beautiful still.  
Maybe that is one of the things I needed to work on this fall instead of running.  Learning to be okay with where I am at.  This past year I have been so frustrated that I wasn't where I thought I would be by now.  Frustrated that my body hasn't cooperated with my efforts and we can't figure out why.  Frustrated that I'm still tired all the time and we can't figure out why.  This fall I have been able to let a lot of that go.

I have been thinking about what I want to accomplish and how I'm going to get there for new goals.  I have some thoughts bouncing around so that I can hit the ground running (pun intended) when I'm done with grad school.  Maybe I needed to take a break so that I could learn to be okay with where I am and also be okay with not reaching my goals every time.  I am terribly hard on myself in many areas and that is also something I have been working on.  If my family and friends are proud of me, I need to learn to be proud of myself too.  I have done some pretty kick ass things in the last three and a half years.  Things I never would have thought I could do when I started this whole running thing and I could barely run the corners of the track.

New plan is to keep cheering on my kick ass friends that are accomplishing Big Hairy Ass Goals!! I will remember that what they are doing is not what I need to be doing, that does make my goals less, just different.  Some of the things they do I don't even want to do, so there is no need to feel less about what I'm doing.  I will remember that the only person who was thinking my goals were small and stupid was me and that is NOT okay anymore.  I will also cut myself some slack when life, parenting, work, being a wife, housework, chores, grocery shopping, laundry (the list goes on!) gets in the way of my goals on occasion.  Because I have a pretty sweet life.  Actually I have an exceptionally awesome life and the best part is I get to share it with my best friend.  :-)
New pants, like Joe's only in my favorite color.  Best part?  I thought they wouldn't fit.  :-)
One more week of work and school and then I get two weeks off of work and a month off of grad school.  It will be awesome to rest my brain for a bit.  I signed up for a 10k in January so I will be getting my run on this week.  It will be slow and sad and not anywhere close to where I was or where I want to be and I'm okay with that.  My daughter is going to run the 10k too, it will be her first!  So we are going to be training together.  How cool is that?  I'm super excited!
Today has been a great day!  Can't wait to continue my journey with the better attitude AND add back in the running.
Bailey is a wee bit tired, can't imagine why!  :-)
Life is a journey!  Run Happy!!
Next step, figuring what the hell I want....

1 comment:

  1. Great hike today, to both the Van V's! :) Keep being the best you that you can be, one day at a time!