Oregon Dunes Triathlon 2017

I started going down the comparison road again a few weeks ago.  Not super bad but bad enough.  I was comparing myself to other athletes and worse, I was comparing myself to myself.  Thinking I'm not where I should be.  Frustrated that I weigh more than I did last year at this time.  Nothing earth shattering but enough to bother me.

Then I get frustrated that I'm comparing again because I know I shouldn't do that.  

Kind of becomes a bad cycle.  

A little over a week ago my daughter participated in a Fine Arts Festival at her church.  It's a competition where kids can do all kinds of things and they get scored.  If they score a superior they can go on to a national competition.  There are categories for art, musical instruments, photography, worship team, solos, musical theater and all kinds of other things.  It's pretty cool.  Meighan participated in the Short Sermon and Musical Theater categories.

She sent me a video of her short sermon.

I was in tears.

I have been to many a church service where I thought everyone else could just go home because God was obviously speaking to me.

Never had that happen with a video.

Especially a video of my own baby girl speaking.

Wow!  Not only did she do an amazing job she spoke right to the very thing I need to remember!  That I'm running my own race and that's the best part...It's MY race.  Not to be compared with anyone else's.  

Love the part where she talks about looking for your person at the finish line.  Can you tell she has been to a few races and watched her mom and dad do that at the end?  

That little sermon quickly created a major attitude adjustment.  

I am working on remembering that my race is not like anyone else's and I need to be proud of what I can do.  

Now for the race report!

The weather forecast for the week was not looking promising.  On Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we had some nice weather but then rain moved in on Thursday.  If it is raining in the valley you know it is raining more at the coast.

Last year it was about perfect.  Not raining, not blowing and perfect temperature. This year was vastly different.

It was cold.  It was wet.  But on the plus side it wasn't blowing.

Joe started the Olympic Triathlon at 8:00 a.m. and I started the Sprint at 9:00 a.m.

I had been wearing my flip flops while we were getting things set up but had to go put shoes and socks on because my feet were getting cold.  It takes a lot for my feet to get cold!

I got my numbers put on, kind of.  It was raining so much that my skin was wet so the ink didn't go on very well.  Not much to do about that.  I went to rack my bike.  I was getting some things organized and thinking about how I wanted to set things up in the rain when I heard a woman talking next to me.  At first I thought she was talking to me.  Nope!  She was talking to herself.  There was some serious self-talk going on!

• I paid money for this!
• I had to drive a long way to get here.
• It's good training to ride and run in the rain.
• It can't be that bad.
• I paid money for this.
• I can do this.

It took a little while but finally she started getting her stuff set up.  Self talk worked! Good for her!  I think we were all having some of those very same thoughts.

I got to watch Joe take off on his swim and then I went to go get my stuff out of the car.  Got my stuff set up mostly after one big rain storm had moved through so it was relatively dry for the moment when I started out.   Then I went down and managed to see Joe come out of the water for his first loop.  He was looking good, as always.

Now it was time for me to get my wet suit on and be ready for my race.  My coach had said to wear my arm sleeves under my wet suit so that I didn't have to try and put them on after the swim.  Not an easy task with wet skin.  I didn't think that would work since the suit is so tight right now but I figured I would at least try so that I would know for sure.  Worked pretty slick so then I had one less thing to worry about at transition.  ;-)

While I was putting on my wetsuit Joe finished his swim and came into transition.  I got to cheer him on and shout my traditional "Don't fall down!" as he headed out to for his bike ride.

I headed down to the water.  The race organizers had a big containers of hot water that we could use to put in our wet suit before we got in the lake.  Oh my!  That felt so good!  Usually I get in the water and have to open the wet suit to let some water in and then it takes a bit for my body to warm it up.  Now I had one less thing. ;-)

Got one more high five and a few more reminders from my coach before I headed for the water.  I spent some time warming up.  Not really swimming hard, mostly just getting my face used to the water.  I felt like I was ready.

I really love open water swimming.

I really don't love people who can't swim in a straight line.

I had a few struggles with one woman who I couldn't quite seem to get past at first because she would swim toward me at an angle and then decide to breast stroke and was kicking and hitting me because she was trying to swim over the top of me, in the wrong direction.  I finally managed to get ahead of her enough that she wasn't zig zagging my direction anymore.  I had a couple of other situations like that but got by them easier.  I was swimming okay but really didn't feel like I found my rhythm until about half way through the swim.  Then I felt really good.  Too bad I couldn't find that from the start.

I promised myself I wouldn't look at my watch while I was swimming because I didn't want to start worrying about being faster or slower than last year.  I just wanted to go.

Came out of the water and felt okay about the swim.  Didn't think it was too much better than last year but there was quite a few people behind me yet so that was kind of cool.

Headed to Transition 1 and got to see my teammate Rebecca head out on the bike.  Which meant I wasn't to far behind her coming out of the water so that was fun too!

It had obviously been raining a lot while we were swimming because everything was wet.  So I just sat on the ground to pull off my wetsuit.  Figured there was no point to dancing around trying to keep my balance and keep things dry.  lol

Wetsuit off.
Socks on.
Shoes on.
Glasses on.
Hat on.
Gloves on.
Helmet on.
Jacket on.
Unrack bike.

Here we go!

Got to the line to mount my bike and my coach and Melissa were there cheering me on.  Someone popped up next to me and shouted "Photo Bomb" and in the process jostled me a little.  I know he thought it was hilarious.  But I'm still not the most confident of bike riders so that little jostle kind of threw me off.  I had to take a breath, get my pedals lined up and try again.  Got going fine and now it was time for the bike ride.

It was raining when I started.

It poured while I was riding.

It never stopped until I got back.

I did pretty good all things considered.  There are a lot of hills on this ride and with the rain I wasn't too comfortable about going downhill at top speed.  I did a couple of times but slowed down some most of the time.  I really really really did not want to crash!

Got passed by a lot of people going up the hills but the cool thing was that I passed a lot of people going down the hills.  I was using my new gear changing skills to move to the bigger ring on the down hill so that I could have more power and boy did that ever work.  I could totally see how people weren't using their bike as well as they could.  That was me just a few weeks ago.

It wasn't long before I got to the steep little hill that I had to walk up last year.  I was determined NOT to walk up it this year.  It was a challenge and my foot slipped out of the pedal because it was so wet but I made it to the top!  That was hard!!!  I was pretty proud of myself.

At this point I had to take my glasses off and stick them in my pocket because they were so wet they were making it harder to see.

As I was coming down the last hill back to the transition I hear someone shouting behind me.  "Is that my woman?"  lol  My hubby was finishing his longer bike ride.  That was fun!

I got to the dismount line and hit the button on my watch to end the bike ride.  The time said 55 minutes and some seconds.  I was pretty sure that was faster than last year by about four minutes.  Which seems crazy considering the weather and the fact that I was slowing down on most of the downhills because of the rain.

Now for the run!

Rack the bike.
Helmet off.
Gloves off.
Jacket off.
Grab water bottle.

Here we go.

The rain had reduced to just a drizzle.  But the trail was a muddy mess.  Fun though.

I wasn't going very fast mostly because I really couldn't feel my legs.  But I kept a pretty steady pace.  I only had to walk at the bridge going over the highway and one other small hill once I was on the paved trail.  I ran up that sand dune again too!  While my time ended up being about the same as last year I felt better about it because I was able to keep a steady pace and keep moving the entire time.  Last year was a lot of running and then walking and I really struggled.  Weird having the same time and yet feeling so much better about it this year compared to last year.

The results show swim time, transition one, bike time, transition two, run time, total time for the entire race.

Here is my results from 2016 for comparison:

That's an improvement overall of SEVEN MINUTES AND 12 SECONDS!!!!

Can you tell I"m a little excited?  That is a big improvement.  That is a fantastic improvement with the conditions the way they are.

I'm a wee bit proud of myself.

I got to see my husband finish not long after me which is always fun.

We headed down the dune and found the warming tent.  Our daughter had missed a shuttle from the transition area to the finish and so didn't make it in time to see us finish. Which isn't a big deal expect she had our warm clothes with her.  So glad they had someplace set up for us to get warm.

When Meighan arrived she gave us our sweatshirts and I asked her to go take a picture of my results so I could see for sure that I had finished better than last year.  She comes running back and says to me with a big smile on her face, "Mom!  You got second in your age group!!!"

No way!!

Yep!  I got second in my age group.  (Shhhhh, there was only two people in my age group.  But like Joe always tells me, it matters who shows up on race day. 😃)

So overall I was feeling pretty happy about how it all went in spite of the ridiculous weather.  I had been working on my attitude, I pushed through difficult weather, still managed to PR and I had fun.  All good things.

Then the pictures came out.

Pictures and I have a long history of not being on good speaking terms.  I have worked hard over the last few years about being better about being in them and not being so critical of how I look in them.

Wearing a tri kit does not allow me to wear clothes that hide some of the flaws I am the most self-conscious about.  Then seeing the pictures just made me cringe.  The swim pictures were about what I expected.  I have kind of adjusted to how those look.

The bike and run pictures did not make me happy.

Yep.  I went right down that road again.  Quite a few tears.  A conversation with my husband that, good Lord, he must be SO tired of having with me.  When I look at my pictures I see someone who is fat.  Which is so frustrating because I know that I work really really hard at being fit.  I just want the outside to reflect all that work.

There have been many times over the past year when my husband and I have done triathlons at the same event.  We will see people with their bikes on their rigs or wearing the shirts and a conversation starts.  What race did you do?  Did you have fun?  Stuff like that.  But often they are talking to Joe.  Two bikes on the rig.  Both of us wearing the shirt.  But somehow I'm not a part of the conversation.  It's like this weird unspoken thing that the other people don't really see that I am a participant as well.  Joe is just talking and being the social guy he is and I'm standing there feeling stupid and awkward.  When I told Joe about this later he said he didn't even know it was happening.

Now, I may be a little sensitive.  I may read to much into things.  But this has happened at at least three other races before this weekend.  One time it happened at the Cottage Grove Olympic triathlon I did last summer and Joe didn't even race.  The guy talked to Joe the entire time.  Joe had to point out that I had done the race, not him and the guy still didn't acknowledge that I was the racer, not Joe.  It is a bit demoralizing to have done all the training and hard work and the event itself and have people look at me and dismiss me because I don't LOOK like someone who can do a tri.

So before I even saw the pictures I had that little niggle started in my head.

Not a good thing.

However, I am surrounded by good people that don't see me that way.  And they remind me often of how they do see me.  In that way I am very blessed.

My new teammate Rebecca had a kick ass time at the triathlon.  So proud of her!  She was a bit worried about riding bike in the rain since she has done most of her winter riding on the trainer.  But she sucked it up and went for it and did awesome!  Loved her cheerful attitude, bright smile and support of her teammates.  It has been fun having her join the Booth Bunch!!  She sent me this video of me finish the triathlon on the dune.

Her comment when she sent the video was "Strong and Beautiful."  I don't think she has any idea what it means to be seen that way.

When I was expressing to one of my co-workers how I didn't like the run pictures because of what I looked like I got a similar response.  I showed her the picture and pointed out what I didn't like.  She said, "That's not what I see.  I see someone who is out there getting things done.  It's awesome."

While I still have work to do on how I see myself, I have been again reminded that is not how others see me.  At least not the people that matter.

So I'm going to post the pictures from the race and celebrate that I had a great day and the pictures show a lady who is trying her hardest to be healthy and have fun along the way.  If others can't see that then I guess that is their problem.  I'm working on not letting it be mine anymore.

Finishing the swim.  Can you see the raindrops?

Starting out on the bike ride.  The rain hadn't really gotten going....yet!

Time for the run.

And finally the finish at the top of the sand dune!

Getting high fives at the finish line!

And the one picture that I LOVE!  Here is most of the Booth Bunch after the event was over.  This is a great group of hard working people.  Some had a great day, some had some struggles but every single one of us finished!  And that is awesome!!

Coach Jon and his athletes. Missing three more.  The Booth Bunch family is growing!

Always things to work on.  Making progress is sometimes painful, both physically and mentally.  Sometimes I think the mental progress are the ones that hurt the most.

Once again a big shout out to Best in the West Events for having a fabulous event.  From start to finish it was a well organized and fun event.  I appreciate how they planned for the weather and did things to make the participants be just a little more bearable.  From having the hot water for our wet suits at the start to having a warming tent at the finish, they had things set up with the athletes in mind.  I appreciate that a lot!!  They still have many events going on this summer and next fall.  Check out their website and get signed up!!!!  http://www.bestinthewestevents.com  Thank you Blair and Staci and the rest of the Best in the West Posse for all you do!! Big thank you to the amazing volunteers that stood out in the rain all day to help keep us safe and going in the right direction.  Every single one of them had a smile on their face and cheers for me as I went by!!  It was very much appreciated!!

Next race is Blue Lake up in Portland.  Looking forward to getting after it again.  😀

SaveSave

One Tough Lady

What the heck?  This wasn't on the upcoming race list!

I know!!  Right?

This is a local triathlon and I didn't consider it because it was in between the Beaver Freezer and the Oregon Dunes Triathlon.

But, since I didn't get to do the Beaver Freezer....

This past week I got the okay from my doctor to get back to full training.  The supplements that we think were causing the heart rate issues seem to have worked their way out of my system and the past week workouts have been going well, as far as heart rate goes.

Joe mentioned in passing that maybe I should do the Heart of the Valley tri.  At first I thought that that was a ridiculous idea.  But the more I thought about it the more I wanted to do it.

If I did this triathlon I would still get a triathlon in for the month of April and it would be good training for the Oregon Dunes triathlon in a few weeks.

So I sent my coach an email.

I got a text later saying we would talk that evening during our group run.

I think he wanted to see how the running went with the heart rate before he said yes or no.

We did hill work that evening.  Not my favorite thing, especially when running in general has been a struggle.  But I got it done.  And each time I went up the hill I went a little farther.  I was a little slower too but I kept moving so I'm calling it a win.

Later that evening I get this text:

So I signed up for the Heart of the Valley Triathlon.  Yikes!

I left the next day for a conference in Bend for work. I got up early in the morning so I could get my swim and bike ride done before I left.  Friday was strength training so I used the hotel exercise room to get that done.  Didn't have any free weights or kettle bells but I was able to do everything else no problem.  Had to do a 30 minute run on Saturday but waited until I got home to get that done.

This triathlon started at 12:30 p.m. which was a little weird.  Means I didn't have to get up at the crack of dawn, which was nice.  But it also meant I wouldn't have the whole afternoon to rest up when I was done.  Monday will come fast after this race!!

Joe had a two hour bike ride and a run to do.  So when he got home from work he got ready and headed out for his bike ride.  He basically made his way to Corvallis and met me at the race.  He had time to get his run done before my swim started so that worked out pretty good.

I got my race packet and got my stuff all organized.  Saw different friends and chit chatted for a bit.  My hubby got done with his run and joined the group.

Next my coach and his whole family came walking up.  Then behind them came Melissa and Marcus.  Later I saw Ron.  Jon had sent an email out to the Booth Bunch letting them know I was racing and a large chunk of them showed up!  Wow!  That made me feel pretty special!  Love this group of amazing athletes and feel pretty honored to be considered an athlete along side of them.  Having them come to cheer me on was pretty cool!

It wasn't long before it was time to get started.

This triathlon was a 750 meter swim in a pool that was set for a 50 meter length.  Long course pool!  I did a few laps to warm up and then got lined up to get assigned my lane.

The swim started off a little shaky to start.  I realized that one of my problems last year with the Beaver Freezer and then with this race.  With the start of the swim we jump in and go.  I'm used to being in the water and having a moment to get set and then pushing off the wall.  Since I don't know how to dive I jump in, come up and start.  It kind of gets me all discombobulated to start with.  Now I know that for triathlons that are in a pool I need to get in and give myself a moment to regroup and push off the wall.

Thanks to Ron for the swim pictures!!

I learn something at every race I do!

The swim went decent.  Not as fast as I would have liked.  I found a comfortable groove but it wasn't as fast as I have done on some of my steady swims during training.  Not sure what the deal was but overall it wasn't too bad.

When I got done with the swim I had to get out of the pool at the bulkhead.  This meant jumping up and then using my arms to get myself up on the deck.  It was a pretty tall bulkhead and I was a little worried about how I would do getting out.  I did have the option of going under the lane lines to get to the wall with the ladder but I really wanted to try and do it the way they asked me to do it.  I jumped up and actually did pretty good but I lost my grip a little and slid back into the water.  On the way down my toes scraped along the bulkhead.  Hurt like I stubbed my toe but I wasn't too worried about it.  I gave myself another boost and this time was able to get out of the pool on my own.  I was pretty happy about this. I could tell I am stronger than I was a year ago.  So that's a win.

I run along the side of the pool and head to transition.  As I'm running I look down at my toes and realize that I'm bleeding.  I thought I had just scraped my toe.  When I got to my bike I look a little closer and realize that the entire big toenail is starting to stick straight up.

Great!! 😳

I have basically ripped most of my toenail off and I still have a bike ride and run to do.

What the heck is wrong with my toe?

I told my coach I get a pass on a slow transition time!

So I push down the nail and put on my sock so that the sock will hold it down and then finish putting on my shoes and socks.  I get the rest of my gear set for the bike ride and head out of transition.

The weather has gotten pretty nice.  Cloud and sunshine mix and little or no wind.  I was wearing my tri suit and didn't have to wear arm sleeves or a jacket over the top.

This bike route is pretty hilly and I haven't been able to do any hills for the past month.  You know, because of the heart rate issue.  So the plan was to just go ride hills and have fun doing it. I didn't try and kill the ride, I just worked at doing it well.

Breathing!

Downhill is fun!

I did a ride on the trainer at my coaches house on Monday and he had me doing hills with his trainer and Zwift account.  While I was doing that he had me work on changing from the small ring in front to the big ring, while quickly changing the gear on the back as well so that I would basically be in the same gear I had been in but better set for the uphill or downhill.  So I worked on doing that during this ride.  It went really well.  Only once did I change things up too soon but it wasn't somewhere that it cost me much.  Kinda fun to learn a new skill and be able to put it into action on a ride.

The toe didn't hurt too bad or I was too busy thinking about the ride to think about it.  Except that about a mile in I realized my sock was wet and every time I would pedal with my right foot I could feel it go squish.  I couldn't figure out why it was wet at first since I dried my feet off before I put on my socks and shoes.  Then it occurred to me that my toe was bleeding and was making my sock wet. Yuck!!  So gross but at least I didn't have to see it bleeding.

Part of the route I had done once last summer with my coach.  Going up Highland Rd.  I remember really, really struggling to get up the last part of the hill.  While I still had to work hard to get to the top I definitely wasn't completely wiped out like I was last year.  So that was also a win.

I got done with the bike.  Overall it went well.  Although having my sock feel wet and squishy, most likely from my toenail bleeding, was a bit disconcerting.

I had a really good transition from the bike to the run.  I racked my bike.  Took off my helmet and gloves.  Grabbed my hat and took off.

Here goes the run!

Gritting it out.  

Running was a bit more difficult.  My toe would push on the end of my shoe.  So it was a little painful.  I started with running for four minutes and walking for one and then tried to make the run part a little longer as I went along.  Not gonna lie, it wasn't the funnest run I have ever done.  But I managed to get it done and with a rather respectable time for me.  Especially considering my lovely toenail issue.

I crossed the finish line and my hubby, my coach and his family, Marcus, Melissa and Ron were all there cheering me across the finish.  Got bonus cheers from my friends Chad, Trevor and Jaime who were there supporting Trevor's dad in his first triathlon.

Done!  First Tri of 2017 is in the books.

Then of course I had to show everyone my injury.  lol  So gross.  Since the toenail had been pushed down by my sock and shoe it wouldn't lift up like it had been when I first got out of the pool.  I lifted it up a little and that was plenty!  Ouch!!  And yes, you get to see pictures!  Because it's fun to look at the gross stuff!  bwhahahaha

This is after the race.  

Was able to cut most of the nail off today.  That's going to be ugly for awhile!

You hear stories about people finish triathlon with injuries.  IT band, muscle strains, scrapes and bruising from crashing their bike or tripping on the run, that kind of thing.  Don't know that I've ever heard of someone ripping their toenail off.

I'm an overachiever like that.  😜

Can't do things like everyone else.

Frustrations for the day were getting hurt and not liking the pictures of myself.  (That part isn't anything new!  And yes, I'm still working on that part.  But that's for another blog.)

Wins for the day:

• I actually did get out of the pool way easier than I thought I would be able to do (minus the injury).  
• I did a solid ride on the bike which I wasn't expecting since I haven't done much hill work in the last month like I should have.  And I had fun practicing my new skill of using my gears better.  
• I realized later, after one of my teammates pointed out (thank you Rebecca!) that I had negative splits on my run.  Each mile was faster than the mile before.  Which is really awesome, especially since my foot hurt so much.  
• The day after the triathlon I was at the YMCA doing my workout and thinking about the triathlon.  I had a sudden aha moment.  The pool at Osborne is set up for meters.  So my 750 swim was a 750 meter swim which works out to be about 820 yards.  Which makes me at more of a speed that I was expecting.  Ha!  No wonder my time didn't match up with what I thought it should.  
• I wasn't completely wiped out and sore after the tri.  I was tired and had a most excellent nap that afternoon.  But I got up the very next morning and did the longest swim workout I've ever done.  The day after a tri!  And I did it really well.  That shows that my fitness level is much better than I give myself credit for!

Not quite the race I had anticipated but it was so good to get a triathlon done.  It was nice to remember that I actually can do this triathlon thing.

No rest for the tired teacher though.  Got up Monday morning and did a 2000 yard swim with a bike ride in the afternoon.  Tuesday I had a hour bike ride and strength training.  Wednesday will be hill work with coach on the trails.  I've got some work to do to make up for April.

Jon had told me that I would have a great story to share about my triathlon.  I had so much fun telling my students about it on Monday at school.  They didn't know I was even going to do the triathlon since I decided on Wednesday night and then was gone to a conference on Thursday and Friday.  I had tape on my toe to protect it and keep it from getting dirty and they wanted to know what I had done.  So I told them.  I was laughing so hard at their reactions.  The best was when I was telling them about pushing the nail down so I could get my sock on.  That totally icked them out.  I continued with telling them about the squishy sock and suddenly there was a pause and a student looked at me and said, "Wait!  You kept doing the triathlon?"  Of course I kept going!  There was another pause and then another student said, "Mrs. V, you are one tough lady!"  The general agreement throughout the day was that they wouldn't haven't kept going if it had happened to them.  They were super impressed that I finished the race.

Funny thing to me was that it didn't even occur to me to not finish.

So I guess I am one tough lady.  I kind of needed to be reminded of that.  😀

One last thing.  I know I have said it before but seriously, it is worth repeating!  We are SO fortunate to have such a fantastic group putting on triathlons in our local area!!  Best in the West organized the Heart of the Valley tri and as usual did an amazing job.  The organization, clear information and awesome volunteers help add to the fun of just doing the event.  I so appreciate all the hard work they put in before and after each event.  I can't wait to see them again at the Oregon Dunes Triathlon in a few weeks.  Here's a link to their main event page so you can see all the different races they put on:http://www.bestinthewestevents.com

**Photo credit to Ron, Jon and Best in the West (who makes the pictures from their events available for free!!)

Breathe

Breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

In.

Out.

Breathe.

Such a simple thing.  We do it 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year for our entire life.

And yet.....

Some days it's hard to remember to just....Breathe.

I have a tendency to worry and get in my own head about things that are big and stressful.

I feel like I'm someone going a little cray cray.

However, I know that one way or another the things I'm worried about will work themselves out.

Finally got the results from the heart rate monitor that I wore for a week.  There were a couple of things that popped but nothing that couldn't be explained by exercise so my doctor is pretty happy.  The last week I haven't had an issues with the heart rate getting ridiculously high when working out so it seems that the methyl has finally worked it's way out of my system.  I had been doing the "what if?" game and worrying that it might be something else that would be a more permanent worry.  I go in to see doctor on Monday just to go over the results together in person and make sure that there isn't anything else I need to do to keep my heart happy.

That worked out in a way that made me relieved and reduced some stress for sure.

The other thing that has been stressing me out this month is that my sweet Bailey puppy has been sick.  At first we thought she just had an infection and she took antibiotics for a week but didn't get better.  The vet did blood tests and we found out she was severely anemic.  This was not a good thing.    We did another treatment plan to see if it was an autoimmune problem but the vet wasn't sure this would help.  He was pretty sure she had bone cancer.

I spent most of April watching my sweet girl get sicker and sicker.  It was so hard to watch her be less and less interested in anything.  I was preparing myself for what was coming but trying to hold onto hope that she would get better.

Friday she crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  She was with me when it happened.  She was only three years old.

Such a sweet face.  💜  This was taken on Wednesday.

I have never had a sweeter pet.  She was the most loving and silly puppy.  Full of energy and spunk and always ready to give me a good cuddle.  I loved her from the first time I held her when she was only two days old.  I loved training her to be a therapy dog, she was so smart.  My favorite thing was taking her on hikes.  She loved to run and was so good about being by me when other people went by us on the trail.

Bailey at one week old.  She already had my heart. 

Tennis balls were her favorite toy.  She would lose them all over the house.

When I had bad days at work she would get up in the recliner and give me Bailey kisses.  I have never been a huge fan of dogs licking me but for some reason I never minded it from Bailey.  Hard to stay sad when you have a sweet boxer giving you kisses, just saying.

Every time we did selfies there are a few like this.  😄

So this worry is also resolved.  Not in the way I wanted.  It hurts really, really bad and I know it's going to for a bit yet.

I also know that it will get better.

I also know that the grief I'm feeling over my pet is nothing compared to what people I love have gone through losing a parent or a child.  But even knowing that, I have a big hole in my heart with the loss my puppy.

I am thankful for the fact that instead of reaching for comfort food I am using my workouts as my therapy.  This is a big deal since in the past when I have been stressed or sad I use food as a stress reliever.

My coach has been working with me on being better with my breathing when I run.  Long steady exhales, long steady inhales.

He sent me this meme a few weeks ago.

I know this post hasn't been much about my workouts.

I have found that life and the things going on it have a big impact on how workouts go.   Whether I do them, how I feel while I'm doing them, how I react to when things go well or when they don't.

I have also found that workouts help dealing with the stresses of life.  Quite time in the pool was very much needed the past couple of weeks.  It gave me time to not think about my worries and just think about swimming.  The bike rides and runs have been good to keep the body moving and help me focus on what I can do rather than wallowing in worry and feeding that worry with food.

So I'm going to continue to breathe.

Sometimes it will come out ragged as I am crying through the breathing.

But I'm still breathing.

Breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

In.

Out.

Breathe.

Such a simple thing.

Beaver Freezer 2017

The first triathlon of 2017 has come and gone.  Lots of fun things to celebrate about this race.  A few things that didn't turn out quite like I had planned.

Out of the group that all works with my coach, aka the Booth Bunch, my husband Joe, Marcus, Ron, Mike, James and Jon's wife Janelle were all participating.  As well as our good friend Chad.  Quite a crew!

The weather wasn't terrible.  Not as awesome as last year but it wasn't super cold and dumping down rain.  It sprinkled a bit at the beginning so there were wet roads but overall not too bad.

Jon & Logan talking with Janelle before she started her swim.

Janelle was the first to swim.  She had been a little nervous about the swim but looked really good in the pool.  She did a good job of not going out too fast and getting out of breath (the way I did last year!)  It didn't take too long and she was out of the pool and heading to transition.

Love this picture!  Jon cheering and Janelle with a big smile! 😀

At this point I had to leave for a little while but I was able to make it back in time to see the guys start coming in from their bike ride.  I didn't get pictures of all of them but a few of them.  I missed seeing Janelle finish, which was a bummer but she said she had fun and felt like she did well.

Joe had a great ride.

Joe had a speedy transition and was quickly heading out to run.  

Next to come in was Marcus.

Looking good Marcus!

Melissa and Kirsten cheering Marcus as he starts the run.

I always love hanging out with Melissa at events.  We spend a lot of time laughing and talking!

Jon and I stayed and watched for Ron and Mike to finish the bike.  Almost all of the team was wearing Pure Endurance triathlon kits.  We got them last fall and they look great.  At one point I looked at Jon and asked him, "How does it feel to see Pure Endurance kits coming down the hill?"  He gave me a big smile and said it felt pretty good.  😃

Once everyone had finished the bike ride we walked over to watch them do the run.  The run is three loops around the Oregon State University campus.  

All the guys looked good on the run and finished strong.  

Joe running well.

Mike letting us know he hears us cheering for him. 

Joe coming into the finish. 

The athletes with their awesome coach (and coach's helper, Logan)

All of the participants looked like they had a lot of fun and they all did really well.  It was fun to be able to cheer them and encourage them along the way.  

However,  I was supposed to be participating too.  That part was hard.  Really hard.  I was so looking forward to doing the Beaver Freezer again and this time not being so scared.  

My swimming has been getting stronger, which is where I really struggled last year.  My biking and running are also faster.  I was really excited to see how I could do compared to last year.  

Last month I started taking a number of supplements to help with my new diagnosis of insulin resistance and hoping that it would help with my tired issues.  About two weeks in I lost a filling in a back tooth and ended up having it pulled.  

About a week later I was going on a bike ride and it was awful.  My heart rate was really high, I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest, I was sweating like crazy and I felt queasy.  So I didn't go for the longer ride I was supposed to but headed back towards home.  I had to go really slow in order to keep the heart rate from being out of control.

The next day I had to do a 30 minute run and was supposed to do a 11:20 pace.  I did pretty good for the first mile and then everything fell apart again.  My heart rate was over 190 and I felt terrible.  I started walking and my heart rate wouldn't come down.  Probably got all worked up about it which didn't help.  

Talked to my specialist and he had me stop taking the supplements that have methyl in them.  The methylfolate and the B12-Methyl.  He's pretty sure that I am having a reaction to the methyl in the supplements.  Doesn't happen often but it does happen in rare instances.  Leave it to me to be the rare case.  My journey never goes in a straight line.  😜

This past week it was a little bit better.  The bike ride the heart rate didn't get completely out of control, although I was being very careful and not going as fast as I usually would/could.  It spiked during my run again but when I walked it came back down pretty quickly so that was progress.  

Monday I happened to be in to see my regular doctor about a sleep study I had done a couple of months ago and I mentioned that I had a call into the specialist to ask if any of the supplements could be causing the problem.  Dr. David was not happy about the heart rate issue.  He decides I need an EKG for some baseline data and then he wants me to wear a heart rate monitor for two weeks.  I'm not supposed to get it wet or too sweaty because then it will fall off.  I tell him that I have a race on Saturday and ask if I can still do the race and then put the monitor on. He decides that will probably be okay if I have someone who can be keeping an eye on me in case something goes wrong or that I will stop if things start getting really wonky.  I said that I would do that and volunteered my coach to keep an eye on me.  

I had a bike ride that went well but my run on Wednesday was not good.  I was supposed to do 1/2 mile intervals on the track at a 10:30-10:45 pace.  I ended up only doing 1/4 mile intervals because each time my heart rate got over 190.  A couple of times it got over 200.  Didn't think it was a good idea to keep pushing it for another lap when it got that high.  Ugh.  

Thursday I got to go for a short bike ride with the Booth Bunch.  We met at Jon's house so we could ride, practice transitioning to running and do a short run.  Then we got to stay and have grubbing dinner.  Jon talked with the group about fitness and fatigue and why we taper before a race.  It was cool to see a graph that showed what he was talking about.  I love looking at data and seeing how it all connects.  That is one of the fun parts of having a Garmin tracking my workouts.  I like looking at the information and being able to compare it to other workouts.  

When we were getting ready to go Jon asked me to hang for a minute.  I knew we were going to talk about how my heart rate issue was going and about the Beaver Freezer race on Saturday.  And I knew what the result was probably going to need to be.  

I had run for only five minutes after my practice transition and my heart rate had gotten up to 185 in the first couple of minutes.   That's not good.  

Originally I had thought that I could kick ass on the swim portion of the Beaver Freezer, cruise through the bike part without pushing it too much and then walk/run the 5k and just enjoy the day.  I could be happy with that because I wanted two things out of this event.  First, I wanted to do well with the swim portion because last year I had some struggles.  Second, I wanted to go into this event and not be scared.  Last year I was so scared and nervous.  I wanted to just have fun and I figured I could do that even if I could go all out and get a PR.  

But they had to change the bike route a little.  The added a little steep hill about halfway through.  A totally doable hill.  We went and drove it and I have done hills that steep.  But the problem is that when you have to crank up a steep hill your heart rate goes up quite a bit for a while.  I was worried that it would get up in the 190+ range going up that hill and then it wouldn't come down like it should.  If I got dizzy or wonky coming down the hill that could be bad. 

So I have a heart that is beating faster than it should during runs and on certain bike rides.  It hasn't improved significantly in two weeks.  My doctor is concerned and reluctantly has okayed the Beaver Freezer.  And now there is a hill that will add to the concerns.  

I knew what Jon was going to say.  I knew he was going to be right.  Didn't mean it wasn't hard.  As much as I wanted to be in the Beaver Freezer I am not a stupid lady.  I have to take care of myself and make sure I don't do something that will damage me in the long run.  So with a lot of tears on my part we made the decision for me to not participate in the Beaver Freezer.  

Now here's the thing about my coach.  He knew this was going to be hard.  As we discussed it and I cried he was so very kind and understanding but let me know he was concerned.  Then he told me that I could blame him.  Tell people that he wouldn't let me race.  lol  Whatever.  He sent me this text later that evening.  

Here's what I had to say to him.

I have a very good coach and an even better friend.  

I then drove to my husband's work.  He opened the door for me, took one look at my face and put me in the office and shut the door.  He knows me so well and he knew I was a very unhappy camper.  He let me cry as I told him and just listened.  Agreed that we had made the right decision and basically loved and supported me.  He does that exceptionally well.

So Saturday when I had to leave the race it was to go over to my doctor's office to have the heart rate monitor attached.  I am glad I don't have to do the one that has all the wires and a box to have on my belt the whole time.  This one is basically just taped to my chest.  

Could be worse.  

Now I tend to worry and think way too much about things that could be bad or could be nothing.  I think about all the worst case scenarios.  It takes a few days for me to process and kind of find my footing.  Pull my big girl panties and deal with the unknown.  My poor husband has to deal with my while I work through my process.  One of the blessings of being married to my best friend for so long is that he knows my process and gives me time to go through it.  And if I'm wallowing a little too long then he gives me a shake and tells me to get moving forward.  I love this man so much!

Joe getting ready to race.  If I can't race at least I can support my favorite athlete!! 💜💜

So I have a heart rate monitor on for about a week.  I have stop taking some of the supplements and we are hoping that is what is causing the problem.  

In the meantime, I am still biking and running.  I will adjust workouts if things get wonky but at least I can keep moving!  Hard to believe that the thought of NOT being able to work out makes me crazy.  It wasn't that long ago that the thought of HAVING to workout made me crazy.  I like that working out is part of me and my life now and that I can't imagine not doing it.  

I'll be praying for answers and that the doctors don't find anything other than a reaction to the supplements, that there won't be anything else for them to find.  

Next race is the Oregon Dunes triathlon in May.  I'm going to plan like I'm racing, prepare as best I can and be hopeful that everything will be good and settle down.

In the meantime, I was able to cheer on my team at the Beaver Freezer.  Which was a total blast.  Love getting to workout with these people and love seeing them get stronger and reach goals.  

The Booth Bunch!  Good looking group!

Looking forward to more adventures, whether they are the way I had planned or not. 

SaveSave

Insulin Resistance

Health Update:

I am going to share all the details about what's going on with my "tired thing" because I feel like there might be others that will benefit from the information that I'm learning right now.  I don't want to over share but at the same time this has been a big part of my journey in trying to become a healthier (and more energetic) me.

I finally got into the specialist my doctor wanted me to see, Dr. Enochian.  We met a couple of weeks ago and I liked him right from the start.  For one thing, he had read my entire file that my primary doctor had sent over so I didn't have to go over the last five years and all the things that I have tried to do.  I appreciated that SO much.

He had a whole list of questions for me beyond the "normal" stuff that I have been working with my primary doctor on.  He said right from the start that there was something going on and that we were going to figure it out.  He had nothing but good things to say about the steps that my doctor and I had done to get to this point.  He said that by losing weight, exercising and other steps it helped him eliminate some things.

Dr. Enochian had me do a whole bunch of blood tests and one test called a MTHFR to check for the possibility of a genetic mutation that could be causing issues with how my cells deal with insulin and glucose.

I just went in for the follow up appointment. Talk about information overload!

The main thing right now is that the MTHFR test did show that I have what the doctor called a blockage.  Not completely blocked but enough to cause me issues.  This means that the cells ability to take in the glucose so it can do it's job in the cells is blocked somewhat.  The glucose has a hard time getting in because the insulin can't carry it there.  When the insulin can't get the glucose into the cell it stores it in the fat cells instead to get rid of it.  Seems simple enough.  The way I'm understanding it is that we are going to load my body up with supplements so that I have plenty of what I need in my body to get enough of what I need in my cells.  This is better than trying to eat all the different foods in large quantities.

We will also be checking back in a couple of months.  First to see how I'm responding to the change in diet and the addition of the supplements.  Secondly to retest my thyroid and pituitary and see if the changes I made have had a positive impact there or if we need to add additional treatments.

So last night I ordered the following supplements:

Tumeric Extract
Cinnamon Extract
Super Omega-3 (Fish Oil)
Methyl B12

I have another one that we are deciding the right one to use (cost and effectiveness of the cheaper versions are part of the discussion.)  Basically it will be a very high dose of a folate (like pregnant women take but a ridiculously higher amount in comparison.)

I also ordered the book The Insulin Resistant Diet.

Not only will I be taking supplements but I will also need to do another overhaul of my diet.  Seems like I have done this several times over the years.  Maybe each of those changes were to prepare me for this one.

One nice thing is that this doctor has the same thing so he totally gets that it's a lot to process and change.  He was very reassuring that this is not only doable but that it was going to make me feel better soon.

In this day and age with the internet and Google information is right at my fingertips.  I have spent much of my free time in the last 24 hours researching Insulin Resistance, MTHFR and the various supplements I will be taking.  The frustrating thing was that for everything I read that was positive there was an equal amount that said it was all negative.

Ugh.

In my effort to be an informed person who isn't just downing a bunch of pills because someone told me too I became a person that is overwhelmed with too much information.

Here are things that I am 100% sure of:

• A genetic test that indicates a problem does NOT mean I have an excuse to be fat.  It means I will have to change how I work to keep myself healthy.  BIG difference.  
• I want to be a smart patient.  I want to know what I'm putting into my body and how it is helping me.  This is important to me.  I don't want to take things for the sake of taking things.  
• At the same time, I'm smart enough to appreciate people that are smarter than me about some things.  Dr. Enochian went to school for a long time to become a doctor.  He has been practicing medicine for a long time.  He continues to learn and educate himself so that he can give patients the best care possible.  It would be a bit ridiculous for me to tell him how to treat me because of something I read on the internet.  Ask questions because of things I have read is reasonable but to tell him what the treatment should be because of the internet is silly.  (Kind of like parents telling me how to teach a class of 30+ kids, and they are usually the parents of the worst behaved kids!)  
• This is going to take some adjustments on my part, both mentally and physically.  I am a foodie!  I love my snacks and foods, drinks and treats.  I already feel like I have made a lot of adjustments to my diet.  Evidently I still have a lot to learn and some of it will be trying to figure out how to make things work with my job.  

I know that this is not a big deal in comparison to a lot of things that other people deal with. I'm not dying, I don't have cancer, I am a fully functioning, basically healthy woman.  But for me and my world it's a lot right now.  It feels like a lot of change and there is still that little voice in the back of my head that is worried that all this work will be like everything else I have done to this point and it won't work either.  I think that is the part that I'm having the hardest time with. Whatever if I make major changes to my diet (again!) and do all the things I have been asked to do (again!) and I'm still tired all the time?  I try not to be negative but this has been a very long journey and it gets hard to hope that each thing we try will make it work itself out and nothing ever seems to change.

On the flip side there has been some things happening in my fitness journey that have been pretty cool.  Pretty hard work but pretty cool results.

Training Update:

A couple of weeks ago we had a group run with the Booth Bunch.  We met up at OSU and headed towards one of the nearby trails.  It was about a 2/3 mile warm up to get to our starting spot.  Then we were doing one mile repeats. Jon had it figured out how far we had to go to reach a mile on the path.  I was only supposed to do two repeats.  The mile heading out was supposed to be done in around 11:30. Hard but doable.  Then I was supposed to walk around for three minutes and then do the mile back in under 11 minutes.  I wasn't too sure that was going to happen.  Jon was pretty sure it was.

I did the mile out in 11:35 so I was pretty close but my legs felt so heavy the whole time and I really had to concentrate on my breathing (which is becoming the focus of most of my workouts at the moment!)  I got done and was walking with Jon and I told him I wasn't too sure how I would do with the fast mile.  He told me he would run it with me and pace me.  I wasn't allowed to look at my watch and I just had to keep my breathing steady and follow his lead.

I did pretty good for the first 1/2 mile.  The second half mile I really struggled.  I wanted to stop SO BAD!!  Jon was right there telling me to keep my feet light and have bigger breaths out and in.  I wanted to tell him, "I'm trying!!!!" but I only had enough breath for running.  There was absolutely no breath available for talking.

When Jon said we had made a mile I hit the button on my watch.  Holy crap!!  I ran a mile in 10:31!!!  Fastest mile without stopping that I have ever done!!  Once I could actually breathe I was pretty excited about it.  When we got back to our starting point and were doing our cool down stretches Jon told the rest of the bunch about my time.  They were all so supportive and gave me lots of congratulations.  Which shows how wonderful people who work out together are!  All of these men can run circles around me.  My fastest mile ever is their warm up speed.  But not one of them treated it as anything less than a big deal for me.  I appreciate that SO much!

Last week I had to do the same workout only I had to do it by myself.  Jon had told me when we had met earlier in the week that he knew I could do it without him and I was going to have to because he couldn't run with me every time.  lol

I headed out to a country road near my house.  I had a mile warm up and then picked my spot to start my mile interval.  The first one was 11:26 which was better than the week before so I was happy about that.  I walked for about three minutes and then started the second mile.  I was trying to be somewhere close to what I got the week before.  I knew it would be hard to be as fast but I wanted to be close.  I didn't start struggling really bad until about 3/4 of a mile.  The last 1/4 mile was so hard.  I just wanted to stop, my breathing was all over the place and I was having a hard time trying to get it under control and keep up my speed.  The one mile spot seemed so far away!!!  There was a lot of self talk going on to get that last 1/4 mile done without giving up!!!  Final time 10:35.  Not as good as the week before but most excellent considering I did it on my own AND I didn't quit even though I really, really wanted too.

Then Monday I was supposed to run for 30 minutes and have an average pace of 11:20.  Really?!  One mile fast is bad enough but keeping it up for more than two miles without stopping?  I wasn't too sure how that was going to go.

I took off and the first mile went decent.  Hard but I wasn't totally uncomfortable.

The second mile was harder and I was having to push a bit more to keep the speed up.  The breathing was starting to be more of a struggle.  I would get so focused on the breathing that i would forget to keep the speed going.  Two parts of my brain trying to function at the same time.  I was running my 5K route so I knew where the mile spots were.

When I got to mile two I really wanted to just walk the rest of the way.  I looked at my watch and I had less than eight minutes left in my 30 minutes.  Well crap.  If I kept it up for more than 22 minutes I could keep trying for eight more.  With five minutes left I had to stop for a bit at a red light.  I have never been so happy for a crosswalk to tell me "Don't Walk".

Five minutes left and I'm close to home.  I realized that I had slowed down again so I pushed one last time.  I just had to get down one last street and I would be home and my 30 minutes would be up.

Longest five minutes ever! lol

Lots of self talk.

Lots of thinking, "Don't quit now, I'm almost there!"

I got done and my average pace turned out to be 11:18!!!!  I was pretty happy!

Coach says that I have found another gear.  lol

Still can't run as fast as everyone else I know but I sure can keep them in sight for a lot longer than I used to!

My last track workout was a exercise in frustration as I shared in a blog post last month.  We had another track workout last night and I was a little nervous about it.  We had our regular warm up, stretching, running drills and strides.  Then it was time to get to it.  I was supposed to do 4x800 with a 400 walk between.  Each 800 was supposed to be done in 5:30 which is about an 11 minute mile pace.   That's pretty fast for me.  I wasn't too sure it was going to happen let alone four times.  Especially after how much I struggled the last time we did a track workout.

The first 800 I did in 5:31.  (11:00 average pace)
The second was 5:25.  (10:53 average pace)
The third was 5:21.  (10:45 average pace)
The fourth was 5:18.  (10:39 average pace)

What!!??

My breathing was still a struggle at the end of each interval but not near as bad as it has been so I'm making progress there.  I've been practicing taking long deep breaths and exhaling steady and long in as many ways as possible.  It seems to be paying off.

Jon does a lot of talking with one runner and then switching to another when we are all on the track.  He was running with Marcus and told Marcus that he would stick with me when they caught up with me.  When they caught up with me Marcus said that it was a lot harder to catch up to me than it used to be.

I'm so very okay with that!

My swims have been solid lately.  My bike rides have mostly been on the trainer the last few months because it has been such a crappy winter this year.  But even just focusing on the heart rate on the trainer rides I feel stronger.  Hoping that will reflect once I can be back on the road again.

First triathlon of the season is less than a month away.  I'm pretty excited to see how I do this year compared to last year.

It's kind of nice to have the training feel solid right now when everything else seems upside down.  I received most of the supplements in the mail today.  I went over the papers from the doctor so I had a handle on what I was supposed to take when.  I have one of those daily pill containers but I think I will have to get another one in a different color to differentiate morning supplements from evening supplements.

Once again I'm starting on a new aspect of trying to be a better me.

I'm hopeful and at the same time scared that I will once again make big changes and yet see no difference in my tired or my weight.

But I'll keep working at it and I guess that's the most important thing.