Perspective 2.0

I have talked about perspective in this blog.  Here's a link to my first thoughts about Perspective

It's funny the different things that will smack me in the face and help me adjust my thinking.

Throughout this journey into fitness I have been very frustrated because I have never reached the goal I had originally set for myself.  That goal involved a number on the scale.  Which I know isn't the end all and be all of being healthy but it is a way to measure progress.

So I've been very frustrated with the fact that the scale has been going in the wrong direction for quite some time.

I am working on many of the things that have contributed to that, some things are out of my control.

I have been working on my consistency (which hasn't been consistent).  Did really great for a few weeks and then the typical end of the school year craziness began (with the added stress of end of the school year distance learning stress) so I was super focused on that.

I have also been working on my attitude.  This is better but still can be improved.  How I see myself has a big impact on my attitude and I don't see myself in a very positive light a lot of the time right now.  I'm working on that.

There are some health things (think menopause and some of the fun that goes with that) that are going on but some of that I can't do much about so I'm learning to deal.

A week or so ago my Facebook Memories showed me a photo of me during the Oregon Dunes Triathlon two years ago.

I'm not going to lie, I looked at the picture and was shocked.

I have never, not once since I started running, thought that I looked good.  I have never thought that I looked healthy or fit.  I definitely never thought I looked badass.

I have looked at some pictures and thought that I looked okay.  Or better than I used to.

But I looked at this picture from two years ago and thought, "DANG!"

Oregon Dunes Triathlon 2018

I look good!

I look fit!

I can see muscles!

And I didn't appreciate it!

I didn't appreciate it it one tiny little bit.

I was too busy being mad that the number on the scale or the size of the pants weren't at the magical number that I had in my head.

Dammit!

Now here I am, 40 pounds heavier than this picture and I just want to be back there again.

Perspective.

It was a good reminder to celebrate where I am at.

To always appreciate what my body is able to accomplish RIGHT NOW!

To not focus on the scale but to focus on the progress.

Skinny isn't the goal....Healthy is the goal.   And healthy isn't always a super skinny size 0.

This body rode her bike to the top of McKenzie Pass.

This body is going to work hard to get ready for another epic bike ride (details coming as soon as plans are in place).

This body will get healthier again.

I just can't give up.

I know how it feels to be strong.

I know how it feels to be badass.

Those feelings didn't all come in a skinny little body.

I need to remember that!!!

I may not be where I want to be but I can appreciate where I am at.

McKenzie Pass Bike Ride 2020

Because one thing I know for sure.  Most people are working at being a better version of themselves.

I know I am.

I'm just learning to have a little more appreciation for the version I am in right now.