Ugh

I am such a whiner.  People assure me that I'm not but if they could hear my thoughts they would know that I really am.

I have gone on two runs in the last two weeks since the Silver Falls Half Marathon.  Two.  One was last Tuesday and one was today.  Ugh.

I will admit that it was partly because I was feeling sorry for myself.  I got back into the "Poor Me" and "Why can't I just be skinny?" attitude.  Not a good road for me to go down.  Last fall when I did that it lasted five months and I gained 20 pounds.  Ugh.

I also have been SO tired and with it getting dark sooner in the evening it has been hard to find the motivation to get going.  Ugh.

And I hurt.  Ever since the trail run I have been really tight and have had some muscles in my legs that were protesting after a day of work.  Hard to get motivated to run when you are hurting even before you get going.  Ugh.

Yesterday I went and got a massage.  It was a deep tissue massage.  I think the muscles under my muscles were tight.  And it really hurt but in a good way.  I didn't realize just how bad I was feeling until Wendie got me loosened up.  If you want a fantastic massage therapist who can give a relaxing massage or a deep tissue massage Wendie Gum at Body of Health Chiropractic & Wellness Center in Corvallis, Oregon is the person you need to contact!   http://www.yourbodyofhealth.com She is amazing!!  Just say'n. :)

Today when I went on my run I felt really good.  I went for a three mile run around the neighborhood and the first couple of miles felt great.  Then I felt a little bit of protesting from my legs so I decided I probably should slow down so I didn't end up hurting myself by pushing too fast too soon.  I walked a half mile, then did a slow jog for a half mile and then walked the last 1/4 mile home.  I still ended up with a 12'49" which was much better than my run on Tuesday which as an average pace of 13'29" and I felt like I was dying.  Today I walked twice and felt great when I was running.  The massage definitely helped!  And having a good run certainly didn't hurt the attitude any.  :)

The last few weeks have been frustrating.  I plan to do something about that.

• I can't control how fast my weight comes off.  But I can control what I eat and how much exercise I get. 
• I can't control how busy work is this year with extra meetings, new technology to develop curriculum for and a new grade level to teach.  But I can control how overwhelmed I feel.  I will do what I can to the best of my abilities and if something doesn't go quite like I want the world will not end.  (In other words, I don't have to be perfect.)
• I can't control the fact that in order to keep teaching I must get my Masters degree.  I can control the content, which I am really enjoying, and remember that this is just a short term thing.  It won't be forever, it just feels like it right now.  
• I can't control the tired feeling.  But I can do everything in my power to keep it in check.  Take my B12 vitamins, work out, eat right and get to bed early.  

I am going to do the best I can and remember that it is probably better than I give myself credit for.  

This is what I have to remember!!

We are nine weeks out from the Tinkerbell Half Marathon.  I have some work to do on figuring out how to fuel my body before and during the race.  Hopefully I can get things adjusted so that I don't bonk out the last few miles.  :-)

Thanks for letting me vent.  :)