Saturday, April 6, 2013

Frustrations and Victories, all in the same week!! :-)

I'm starting to get nervous about my two half marathons this month.  The Corvallis Half is only a week away.  The Eugene Half is only three weeks away.  Yikes.  My stomach does flip flops every time I think about it.  Not because I am worried about whether I can do it or not.  I know I can run 13 miles, I've done it before.  I'm worried that I will not meet my goals for improvement and that I will be disappointed.  I'm very competitive with myself.  Funny, I think everyone else is awesome just for doing the race but for myself I get bummed if I don't accomplish what I want.

Here are my goals:

Corvallis Half:  To run the whole thing and have a better time then last year.  Last year my time was 3:07:40.  Which was pretty good considering that I walked at least 3 miles of the race.  My pace was 14'20".  Definitely hoping for a better pace then that.

Eugene Half:  To run the whole thing and have a Personal Record for a half marathon under three hours.  Last year I finished in 3:10:23 with an average pace of 14'31" per mile.  I had to walk a lot of the race and I just felt yucky the entire time.  My stomach was upset and I had no energy.  This was when the tired factor was really bad so I'm sure that was a factor.  The first year I did this race was in 2011 and it was my first Half Marathon.  I finished in 3:03:48 with a pace of 14'02".  I have not been able to beat that time yet.

In order for me to get a finish under 3 hours I have to have an average pace per mile of 13'44".  I know I can do that over shorter runs but I'm really worried about what will happen over the longer distances.  I have had problems with running out of steam after about mile 7.  It would really be the pits if I was rocking my pace for most of the run and blow it for the last three miles because I run out of steam.  I will be using my 11 mile run this week and the Corvallis Half the next week to try different things (Shot Bloks, etc.) to figure out a plan before the Eugene Half.  The Eugene Half is the one that I want to kick butt on since it was my very first Half and it is where I did my best time ever.

What will happen if I don't make my goals.  Nothing really.  They are just for me.  The world will not stop.  Nobody at the race will care about the heavy lady who finished 9,000th.  But for me it will be a big bummer.  And to be perfectly honest I will cry about it and probably mope around for a few days because I'm disappointed with myself.  Then my hubby will tell me to get over it and I will move on to the next race and the next goal.  It will probably motivate me to work even harder for the next one.  My pace at the Shamrock Run according to my Nike+ app was 13'24" but official race time was 14'04".  If the official race pace is 14'04" in Eugene then I won't make my goal.  Ok, enough of that.  I'm psyching myself out already.

There are days where I think I have totally got this and days where I think that I'm just going to keep being the fat girl huffing and puffing around the track.


I went to the Endocrinologist Thursday.  My doctor sent me to the specialist with the thought that the specialist would dig deeper to try and figure out the tired/slow weight loss issues I'm having.  Sigh.  It was not a productive visit.  Again, I'm over 40 and it gets harder to to lose weight for women in their 40's.  Evidently the stress I went through 12 years ago with the farm is why I gained weight and now can't lose it.  Did you know that I would be less tired if I lost weight?  Why, thank you, I never thought heard that.  Why didn't I try that?  Oh wait, I have been trying!  More blood tests.  Not because she thought anything was wrong but because she figured we can rule out the obvious stuff.  As far as she can tell from her examination I am perfectly healthy in every way except that I'm overweight.  Her suggestion was that I eat fewer calories and join Weight Watchers.  And maybe I should do more cross training and build more muscle.

I'm trying so hard to keep a good attitude and be positive about the changes I am making.  Days like this make it really hard.  I don't think this was the digging deeper for answers my regular doctor was hoping for when he sent me to the specialist.  I have lost 15 pounds sine December 26th.  This averages out to about 1 pound per week.  However,  I lost 9 the first week and I think that was just holiday bloat.  So that means I have lost an additional 6 pounds in the 14 weeks since which works out to be less than half a pound a week.  A half a pound a week is progress, I will acknowledge that.  However, with the healthy choices I am making with my eating, the reduced calories I am eating AND the fact that I am running 20+ miles a week AND swimming and doing weights at least once a week I should be losing more.  I'm trying to do this the healthy way that will be lasting.  Not the fad diet, shakes or bars.  I want to develop good habits that help me become a healthy person, lose weight and keep it off.  If I'm doing everything right why is that not happening?  I didn't enjoy going to the doctor and basically get patted on the head and told to do more.

It makes me want to go eat a lot of ice cream, pizza, and all kinds of other really yummy things.  lol  But I know that won't help me be successful and will only make me backtrack and I like being able to say that I am doing everything I'm supposed to.  So I'm going to keep doing what I'm supposed to.  :-)

I will go back to my regular doctor one more time and talk with him about it.  After that I think I will just keep doing what I'm doing and resign myself to the fact that losing weight will be a slow process and being tired all the time is my reality.  Not much I can do about it so I am going to keep working on what I can control and give the rest to God.

On the other side, I have had an amazing week of running.  Go figure.


Monday: I had a nice four mile run in beautiful weather that I had an average pace of 12'57".  This made me happy. I get pretty happy about anything under 13 minutes and to average less than over four miles is awesome.

Tuesday:  I was supposed to run hills so I went over to North Albany.  Got a late start but we were still having some of the nice weather that I brought home with me from Palm Desert so it was almost 70 degrees.  Hills and heat are usually not a good combo for me but I felt pretty good.  I was a little worried about how I would do because I forgot my inhaler.  I did have to concentrate on my breathing and I did have to pause my Nike+ at the top of the hill and get my breath back.  On my way back I could tell that I was getting the average down so my last mile I turned up the speed and was shooting for an 11 minute anything mile at the end.  I ended with a 12'12" mile at the end of a 5 mile run with hills.  Still really great for me so I was happy and my average pace was 12'52" which was just a smidge faster than Monday's run.  Not too shabby considering it was a mile longer and had hills.

Wednesday:  Had my 30 minute swim and then did some weights at home.  The swim felt good and I think I'm getting stronger in the water every week.  At least I'm not snorting as much water up my nose.  I hate that!

Thursday:  Rest day and doctor visit.  Talk about sucking the wind out of my sails.  I was a weepy walrus on Thursday!  Only let myself mope about it for the evening.

Friday:  I was SO tired when I got home.  It was raining.  I really didn't feel like running AT ALL!!  But I went.  And it was good.  Actually it was pretty awesome!!  So glad I went.  I ran 4 miles, just a loop down the main road by my house.  I thought I was starting out slow but the first 1/2 mile report was that I was running a low 12 minute mile.  So I slowed it down and at a mile I was still at an under 13 minute pace.  Well, I felt good and it wasn't a super long run so I decided to see if I could get negative splits for every mile AND get the last mile to be 11 minutes, any seconds.  If at some point I had to stop or slow down, oh well.  I walked at crosswalks just to get a little breath back but ran the whole thing.  I'm a happy runner!  It was a great run!

I got an 11 minute mile!!!!!  Woot Woot!!

Check out my pace right at the very end of the run!  SWEET!
I ran this one with an average pace of 12'16" and the last mile was 11'26".  I can't even begin to tell you how excited I was when I got done.  I was tired and I could tell I had worked hard to get it done.  However, I did not feel like death was imminent or like I was going keel over from lack of oxygen.  That in itself was a huge accomplishment for me.

I went from feeling like nothing was working and doctors were stupid on Thursday to feeling like a rock star on Friday.

I'm going to stick with the rock star feeling.  It is WAY more fun!

Saturday: Today's run was supposed to be 11 miles.   I started out really slow (for real) and just work at picking up the pace a teeny bit as I go.  I have pushed it all week so I figured I would get the miles in and just try and enjoy the run.  Especially since I will be at it for awhile.  lol  The first seven miles went pretty good and I was getting negative splits.  But about mile four it started to rain.  Not just sprinkles or a light drizzle but a full on downpour and it kept pouring for almost an hour. My the time I got done with mile 7 I was completely soaked to the skin and my socks were sliding around.  I was worried about getting blisters so I decided to walk for a bit.  I was already shivering because I was so cold but I really wanted my 11 miles.  I ended up doing 9 miles.  I just couldn't stop shivering and I didn't want blisters the week before the Corvallis Half.  I decided that I had pushed hard all week and it wouldn't be the end of the world if I cut this one short.  I hope that doesn't bite me in the but later.  I got up early so I could get the run done and then go watch Joe do the Beaver Freezer Triathlon.  He wants me to video his transitions so he can see what he does and maybe make some changes before the Ironman in June.  Normally not getting my full miles in would make me very frustrated but for some reason I'm totally okay with it today.  Maybe because I know I have been rocking the runs all week it isn't the end of the world if I don't rock every run.  I certainly don't want to get an injury at this point because I didn't give myself a break.

Another fun thing that happened on Wednesday that helps balance out the crappy doctor visit on Thursday was a visit to my old school.  I had to stop by to pick up my friend because she didn't have her car and needed a ride home.  Which I totally love to do because we get talk time on the way home.  Of course I had to pop in and say hi to everyone.  I really love where I'm working now but I really miss my Pioneer Peeps!  I had several people say that I was looking really good and they could see changes.  So weight isn't coming off so much but changes are happening.  My poor husband was all disgusted because he has been telling me that for weeks but I didn't believe him.  But I will believe my friends. lol  Well, they haven't seen me for a few months so they would see the difference better.  He sees me every day and is I think he is just trying to be supportive.  Which he totally he is!  Love my guy!

Goober #3 took this picture of me after I got done with my run on Friday.  I think the smile says it all!
I may be Running in Place and getting nowhere fast but I'm beginning to enjoy the journey more!  Happy Running!  



  1. Lisa, I haven't read your blog before and I have to say...what an inspiration you are! Slow and steady is awesome. AND I don't agree with the "over 40" so its harder. Watched BL too many years to believe that myth. :) But that being said, slow and steady is WAY healthier than super fast and extreme like they do. I agree with you, do more weight least 3x a week. Muscle burns more fat in the "after burn" than does straight cardio. (up to 16 hours after a workout :)) Anywho, love your motivation and attitude! You rock!