Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Taking a Stand

I started this blog a little over a year ago and it was totally for me.  I needed to be able to write down what I was going and how I was feeling about it.  I thought that maybe I would do better by having an outlet for my frustrations and that maybe I would be held a little accountable by the two or three people who might be reading what I was up to.

I know my blog is not one that gets shared and read by millions of people.  But it gets read by more people than I ever anticipated.  As of right now I have had over 6,450 views of my blog.  That's just crazy to me.

When I started this blog I thought maybe, just maybe someone might be a little inspired that they aren't the only one out there struggling to get healthy.  That it hasn't been an easy journey and someone is going down the difficult road too.

Sometimes I have to giggle when people comment on Facebook that I inspire them and they are the people that are already thin and healthy and look fabulous.  How am I an inspiration to people who already look like they have it all figured out?  That part I don't get.  But hey, I'm going to roll with it.

I had a good run last night.  I realized a few things while running.  First thing I realized is that I have been slacking.  Now, I will cut myself a little bit of a break because I have had some things to work through.  The medication that I started taking at Thanksgiving has caused me to have an upset stomach during my runs.  This has contributed to me being slower.  I also have not been very consistent with my training.  I  seem to have caught every cold that came around in January.  That was the pits!  The combination of the nausea and the colds running has been difficult and very slow.  I have had runs where I felt pretty good but was really slow.  At least slower than I had been doing in October and November.  This has been so frustrating because I felt like I was really making improvements in my speed and suddenly I've taken three giant steps backward.

Last night I realized that I have been kind of resting on those issues.  I haven't been pushing myself hard because my stomach was upset or because I had a cold.  I was happy that I had enough energy to get my butt out and actually accomplish a run so I didn't push myself to go faster or longer.  I did just enough.  Just enough isn't cutting it.

Last night I ran three miles on the track.  The first mile was just under 13 minutes.  It was work to get that and I was once again frustrated.  Then I decided I really wanted negative splits because I haven't done that in months so I picked up the pace.  That was even more work.  During mile two is when I realized that I hadn't really pushed myself to the point where it was really difficult in a very long time.  So I decided that I was going to have negative splits for the run and that my last mile would be under 12 minutes.

I had to really work hard to make this happen.  My breathing was difficult and I really had to work at getting it to smooth out.  My legs were tired and hurt and I wanted to stop so many times.  But I know that in order to achieve some of the things I want this year I am going to have to start pushing again.  It is really hard to do this sometimes and I had to do a lot of self-talk to keep moving.

Boy am I glad I kept moving!  This is not my best three miles but it's the best three miles I have had in months.  And because I had pushed myself and decided to get negative splits with my last mile being my fastest mile I was very excited when I looked at my splits.  That is the part I love about running.  When I push and feel crappy, sore and tired.  I can't breathe and I am pretty sure I'm ridiculous for having such silly goals.  Then I get done and realize that I did what I set out to do.  That's the part I love.  I pushed and I got it done.  I don't every time but it sure is a great feeling when I do.

Here is last night's run:

I'm smiling!  
I managed to get negative splits, kept the first two miles under 13 minutes each and got the last one under 12 minutes.  It's been awhile since I ran an 11 anything mile.  I will take it.

Next step is to get back into my training routine.  Between sickness and then snow my motivation to go out and run has been slim to none.  I have too many races coming up to let that continue.  ;-)

I found this on Pinterest today and it summed how I am feeling right now.  I've got no one to look at but myself when I don't achieve what I want.  I am a strong woman and I'm only going to get stronger!

So now I'm making my stand and I'm dealing.  That's a victory.

1 comment:

  1. You go girl. When I get the OK from the doctor to run and or walk again. I will be right back out there with you.